On part two of the Real Housewives of Miami reunion, we are back for more salacious rumors and drama! Let’s dive into the cesspool of drama, shall we?
Alexia feels like she was attacked all season and cannot understand why the other ladies do not understand that she suffers from an inflated sense of self is confident. She believes that the other ladies are jealous since they do not have the resilience that she has. Lisa is incredulous that Alexia would blame her for Lenny’s cheating since she was not secure enough.
The ladies are now taking a break, and Nicole and Guerdy are hoping for an apology for Julia and Adriana. They both feel that Alexia is only making amends with them since she does not want to be canceled for her comments. Julia mentions that Martina had treatment the previous day and will not be attending. Let us hope and pray she will be on the mend soon!
Marysol has her own bathroom backstage since she has a lot of booze to pee out. She has to be fueled up so she can protect Bro-lexia and fend off the attacks for her ignorant comments throughout the season. Get Marysol a catheter since it takes a lot of booze to be her soldier!
Alexia tells Julia why she has so much scorn for Adriana, who is listening to this conversation. They are yelling backstage at each other AND need to save it for the couches! Adriana declares that Alexia waited to out Herman for being gay until after his death. She does not feel she did anything wrong talking about his lifestyle since it was common knowledge.
Alexia is annoyed by being labeled as a mean girl. She says that Adriana is the devil and a narcissist with no feelings. Alexia thinks Adriana even wants to look like her by dyeing her hair blonde. Kiki joins the group and is having trouble keeping her boobs from falling out of her dress. She will hopefully bring some comic relief to this reunion.
Julia gets asked by a viewer why she does not know the name of her daughter’s school. She blames it on dyslexia, which seems rather suspect. Julia has put the adoption on hold for now since Martina is fighting for her life. Andy reflects on Martina and Julia having different dreams and if Julia will try to enjoy Martina’s interests as well. Julia is now trying to be more present with Martina and getting used to having dinner for two. Martina was very popular at BravoCon, and she was a supportive spouse, even carrying Julia’s purse. Julia thanks everyone for showing support for Martina.
Andy asks if anyone ever sees Ana from past seasons. Nicole mentions both Lea and Ana reached out to her, but she does not spread the rumors that they shared. Hint-hint, Larsa and Marysol! Guerdy and Russell are getting it on more after he made it known that he wants more intimacy. Alexia tries to one-up Nicole and brags that she has sex all the time. Larsa says she had sex four times a night for her entire marriage. She must have had vaginal rejuvenation after being jackhammered for years! Andy inquires if Marcus can keep up, and she says not a problem — since you know what they say about men with big feet. #truth
Larsa and Scottie do not talk about each other’s personal life. She has hung out with Marcus’ family but will not comment on spending time with Michael. Andy cannot believe that Larsa is smack dab in the middle of the two basketball superheroes. Larsa will change her name — if she remarries a rich athlete. She gets called out for her shady, below-the-belt comments. Whenever Larsa gets a feeling like she is being challenged, she must win the battle since she does not like to lose.
Andy asks Larsa if she feels vindicated about the news that Lenny admitted to having a mortgage. Lisa resented that comment since she felt it was suggested by Larsa that they cannot afford their lifestyle. They both realize it was one of the stupidest fights. Lisa admits that they were renting their home out on weekends, and Lenny did not want that to be known, so she did not tell the truth when they asked about it.
Larsa gets called out for weaponizing the information she gets against her “friends.” She is accused by a viewer of having dirt on everyone, potentially from a private eye. Larsa pretends that this shady info falls on her FUPA lap. She acts like the DM comments she receives are credible unless they are about her.
Larsa then says that she has a real job, suggesting that Nicole is not a professional — because she gives Anthony gives blow jobs. Larsa does not like that Anthony trash-talked her and accused her of being a homewrecker after being linked with Malik Beasley, who was still married.
Julia then lets everyone know that she finds Nicole to be the most trustworthy. She does not like Larsa questioning Nicole’s professionalism after seeing how good Nicole was with Martina in the hospital. Nicole cannot understand why it is a reach to understand why a man would not defend his wife’s (career) and his child that was born out of wedlock. Larsa has a really warped sense of values, and she perceives Nicole to be too judgmental. Side note: I think that Nicole hit a nerve with Larsa when she called her out on her hypocrisy. Larsa cannot be that foolish and truly believe her work on OnlyFans is a real job!
Andy asks Kiki about her single status, and she hilariously declares that there are too many eggheads like Lenny out there. He wants to know what Kiki sees when looking at his head, and she says he is wild. Andy asks if anyone had seen it coming with Lenny and Lisa. Guerdy mentions she remembers a fundraiser where Lenny would not even partake in the event. She thought he would rather hang out with clubgoers than support his wife’s charity.
Lisa asserts that Lenny has always been awkward and socially inept. She mentions that he was trying to get into shape now after she begged him to do so during their whole marriage. Lenny was also taking testosterone, which she now sees as a red flag. Kiki thinks that was a sign that he was ready to boom-boom with someone else.
Lisa admits that, since they were together for 15 years, she would aim for once a week, and then it dwindled down it’s almost nothing. She gets called out by the viewers for still having the Halloween party with Lenny after the divorce was filed. Lisa mentions that there were 600 people in attendance, and she felt an obligation to have the party since it was still his house too. Kiki shares that she has been going to her parties for years and has heard from her model friends that Lenny was a cheater-cheater egghead eater…
Next week, we will be hearing from the husbands — but not Martina since she is ill. Have a terrific Thursday, and see you next week to get our Jersey fix!
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