Following the release of excerpts which detailed her painful split and divorce from ex David Foster, Yolanda is now sharing something very personal when she reveals she actually thought about killing herself due to difficulties from Lyme disease.
She was diagnosed in 2012 after a doctor in Belgium discovered an active infection in her brain. And despite taking antibiotics, her condition failed to improve and actually worsened with symptoms such as exhaustion, insomnia, joint pain, and anxiety.
In an excerpt published by PEOPLE, Yolanda, 53, shares her feelings of suicide two years following her diagnosis while on a vacation with ex-husband David. During that Florida vacation, she writes that the pain of her disease simply became too much to handle.
“I take off my clothes and slip into the dark blue ocean, which is cool and comforting. The waves gently wash over my naked body, and I can feel the current tugging at me. Tears pour out of my eyes, roll across my cheeks, and meld with the salt water as I try to still my mind to become one with the water’s ebb and flow,” writes Yolanda. “God please just take me away in a wave. I can’t live like this one more day. Please carry my body away. I just want to disappear. My next thought is a clear image of my three children. It shifts my consciousness immediately and that’s the only thing that keeps me from letting myself drift and drown.”
Thankfully, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel for Yolanda as she states she currently feels like she’s in “remission” these days.
“As difficult as these past five years have been, I am so grateful that this journey has led me to living in the light,” she reveals. “I have had it all and lost it all, only to realize that less is more, money can’t buy you health or happiness, and one day at a time is good enough.”
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