Welp, the two-week break didn’t change much with these women. They are still OBSESSING over Denise and threesome-gate. Aaron and Denise are fleeing Kyle’s after a dramatic Aaron-led feud, and I am fearful that Aaron might possibly crush Denise’s hand upon exiting. No one can understand why Denise up and left, which is interesting considering they’ve all done that in the past. According to Rinna, when Denise has “an issue, she hides. She runs!”
The truth is, Denise is beyond exhausted discussing this whole mothering/children issue and is fed up with trying to move on. Kyle cannot handle the husbands getting involved because she knows Aaron is right. She also is 100% jealous that Denise’s husband is present, cuz really, where the ef is Mauricio these days?? Erika would never have to worry about her husband talking back to women during an argument, as he is never around. Ever.
Rinna takes one for the team and chases down Aaron and Denise. She wants to know what Denise is feeling and thinking, but Denise only wants to talk to Rinna privately. So secretive! Denise claims that Rinna hurt her feelings and that she just wants to leave. Denise is so p*ssed that she is going to grab a steak and then head to a strip club? Wait, what?! I have to agree with Rinna. This is like the Twilight Zone.
Naturally, Rinna runs back, like a squirrely little messenger, and tells the ladies about Denise’s steak and strip club comment. They all completely die over it and begin the Denise is such a hypocrite conversation. Listen, I don’t think Denise is being a hypocrite. Her children are not with her and certainly not within EARSHOT. It’s hard to find the correlation between threesome talk and the strip club chatter.
Once they get tired of sh*t talking Denise, Kyle begins the pole dancing and of course…the splits…in the tent. I am more impressed the tent hasn’t collapsed and secretly, kind of mad that it didn’t…LOL.
The next day, Rinna pays a visit to Sutton’s store because she will be missing Sutton’s trunk show. Of course, Sutton sent out a proper invitation, like the classy lady that she is. I could have done without Rinna prancing down the street in a $4500 gown, but alas, that sure beats listening to Dorit plan out her ginormous new closet…
Oh for the love. Kim and Kyle give me anxiety. They are like dumb and dumber and just feed into each other’s issues. “Chocolate and Vanilla” visit the plastic surgeon and discuss Kim’s breast augmentation. Kim had to have a lumpectomy ten years ago, and because of that, she has hopes to normalize her breasts. I love how Kyle pretends she is not the type of person who can walk around topless (at a plastic surgeon’s office). BUT she WILL pole dance and pop a split whenever, wherever after a couple of tequila shots. Side note: It is incredible that Kim just hugged her plastic surgeon topless. Hilar.
OMG. Someone get Denise’s daughter out of the driver’s seat. The girl doesn’t know which pedal is the brake or gas and then proceeds to refer to them as hot dogs or hamburgers. I guess all that threesome talk really messed with her thinking, huh? Perhaps if Sami wasn’t driving a monster truck, it would be a bit easier for her…
Erika and Rinna are always down for the hot new thing in the plastic surgery world, and so they are putting defibrillators on their abs and butts? I am so confused, but apparently this newfangled emsculpt technique will lift, tighten, and tone. Oh to be rich! Erika seems to be enjoying herself a liiiiiiitle too much and explains that her “next husband’s a plastic surgeon.” Seems like old, rich, and bald is her type. Watching Rinna with that vibrating machine on her booty and attempting to have a legit conversation with Erika about her Chicago role is laughable. In case you forgot, Rinna played the same role that Erika is about to take on. She will remind you over and over again. Don’t worry.
The last person I would want around me for support is Kyle. Kim, hop out of that bed and run for the hills! Kyle’s just gonna stress you out more. Of course, Kyle makes Kim’s surgery about her, and she shares the flashbacks to her mother’s death from breast cancer, which is beyond sad. Luckily, Kim waking up from surgery gives us some comic relief.
Garcelle’s new house is stunning! More of her. More of this new life of hers! Garcelle has a DATE, ya’ll! I can’t wait to see who this lucky guy is. Garcelle has a lot to give in a relationship and she def deserves the best. Keep doing you, girl, and STAYING OUT of this ridiculous Denise vs. everybody drama.
It’s the day of Sutton’s trunk show and the ladies arrive early. Dorit ogles the Italian made jewelry and shares her tale of her Italian past. I really didn’t know that Dorit lived in Italy for 10 years! Maybe THAT would explain her bizarro accent. Naaaah.
The women gather around and chat about Aaron and Denise’s arrival. They are dreading/looking forward to the next uncomfortable exchange with Aaron after he flipped out on them at Kyle’s house. In the meantime, Denise has hopes that the ladies would forget about all of the issues, but alas, that’s not how these caddy people roll. Showbiz!
Denise and Aaron arrive. My question is: Why would anyone’s husband wanna be at a jewelry trunk show? Kyle makes a comment about Denise leaving her party, so Denise explains that they are now essentially even. Kyle left Denise’s early, too, (touché!) and they are off to the races. Denise decides to head to the bathroom, leaving Aaron with the wolves, alone. Things take an even more awkward turn and the women stare him down like a battle is brewing.
I am kind of here for Aaron giving it to the ladies. Aaron: “I never call people bad people. I just observe.” LOL. Erika jumps right in and lets Aaron know she faced herself today and she liked it. Aaron retorts, “there ya go,” and you can actually see steam coming out of Erika’s ears. Waaaait. I thought Kyle wanted to wait until Denise got back before she jumped on the couple. So much for being polite I guess.
The women gang up on Aaron and his “man-splaining,” and all I can say is, Denise, what were you thinking leaving Aaron unattended? Denise comes back to pure chaos and Aaron states that he is done with the conversation. Aaron is clearly trying to intimidate the other women and I am beyond baffled why they all decided to confront Aaron instead of Denise…if they have to insist on ganging up on ANYONE!
Once again, Denise claims she isn’t upset and that she isn’t storming out, but it certainly looks like she is. Dorit is trying her hardest to keep Aaron and Denise at the event. Dorit explains that her husband is also protective of her, but that, in a nutshell, the dudes should stay out of the drama.
Back at the event, Kyle loves this so hard and cackles like the witch she is. How ’bout Erika excusing herself to eat a piece of salami?! Kyle concludes that perhaps they should just pretend like nothing happened and take a cue from Denise (PLEASE — move on!), but Erika suggests something stronger. She suggests that they should just stop talking to Denise altogether. All I know is somebody better give Aaron a diamond already… #househusband.
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