RHOSLC Recap: Heather Mysteriously Gets a Black Eye as Jen Accuses Lisa of Crowdfunding For $25K and Meredith Spills on SEC Filing, Plus Lisa Confronts Meredith

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RHOSLC Recap: Heather Mysteriously Gets a Black Eye as Jen Accuses Lisa of Crowdfunding for $25K and Meredith Spills on SEC Filing, Plus Who is Heather Protecting?

From black eyes to SEC filings, this episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is all over the place. Meredith and Lisa clearly have not moved on from their past issues, and for crying out loud, can someone PLEASE tell us what happened to Heather‘s eye?!

The ladies wake up, inevitably hungover, trying to piece together the night before. Heather beckons Jen to her room via text to show her what has now become the world-famous black eye. Heather claims she doesn’t know what happened and doesn’t even realize she has scratches all over her body. Heather says she “doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble,” so Jen and Heather try to come up with a cover story. You know it’s bad when even Jen (the alleged con artist and liar) has a hard time understanding that Heather doesn’t know how she got the black eye.

Heather keeps repeating that she doesn’t want trouble, which is a strange thing to say when you’re sporting a black eye. When Meredith gets called to Heather’s room, she shows emotion for the first time in her life and is completely flabbergasted. Meredith reminds Heather that they were all up together until four in the morning, and she can’t comprehend how Heather got hurt.

Heather states, “I don’t want to talk about it,” as Meredith questions the cause of the injuries. Because Heather also has scratches on her back, it seems like she may have been assaulted. What is interesting is that no one else in the group appears to have defensive injuries…or do they?

Lisa pops in to visit with her bff, Whitney. Whitney explains that she is still upset with Heather and frustrated with Meredith. Whitney believes that Meredith is the puppetmaster and that she knows exactly what she is doing by stirring up the drama with Lisa. She feels like Meredith is “seeking revenge” on Lisa without actually getting her hands dirty, and so she enlisted the help of Whitney and Heather to stir up sh*t. Typical Housewife tactic…

As the ladies gather, Whitney asks to hear a rundown of the night before. Heather states, “I think we all know what happened, but we just don’t want to talk about it,” and she removes her sunglasses and sports her black eye. Heather says that she is just going to shut down and not talk about it. She’s insinuating that someone hit her, but she doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble. She states she will “work through the pain” and carry on with the events of the day.

The women prep for go-karting in the most inappropriate go-kart outfits known to man. The plan is to sightsee in these rinky-dink cars, but the reality is they are all just talking about Heather’s mysterious eye… well, everyone except for Lisa, who is too busy chatting Heather’s ear off about her clothing.

Whitney, Lisa, and Danna head out to go rollerskating while Meredith, Heather, Jen, and Angie hunker down at a winery. The skaters grab some ice cream and get to chatting… mainly about Heather’s black eye. Whitney wonders if Jen can be behind Heather’s black eye, but Heather is still trying to keep it light over at the winery.

Meredith calls Heather’s eye “really concerning.” Heather calls it a “game,” and she states she is not going to give her idea of what went down with her eye until someone else speaks up. She explains that she would usually call Whitney when something like this happened to her, but since finding out she is on a “friendship break,” she is rethinking their relationship. Heather doesn’t feel like she can trust Whitney, but she knows that Whitney is going through a lot as of late, so maybe she should cut her some slack.

Speaking of rocky friendships, Meredith is still not over Lisa’s hot mic moment. She spills that Lisa has a loan out way below market value, so she has an SEC filed and a crowdfund to try and save her business. Angie is completely shocked, and Meredith has no problem explaining the ins and outs of Lisa’s personal business. Meredith assumes that Lisa would not crowdfund unless she has no other financial choice. Heather ponders why Lisa would crowdfund, considering she calls herself the richest girl in the group. Angie finds it hard to believe that Lisa is broke, and for a person who “doesn’t care” about Lisa, Meredith is running her mouth hard about her.

In the meantime, Danna tells Lisa that Meredith is sharing information about Lisa’s business with the other ladies. It is clear that Meredith is intentionally trying to hurt Lisa. Lisa believes that because of her hot mic moment last season, Meredith is *still* trying to drag Lisa down. Is anything off-limits anymore?? First Meredith brings up Lisa’s finances, and then she states that John Barlow doesn’t have a job. Things are getting ugly.

As day turns into night, Angie preps for her Greek-themed dinner. Before getting together with the group, Lisa chats with Angie. Lisa relays the information Danna told her about Meredith spewing, and Angie divulges further. Angie tells Lisa that Meredith brought up the SEC and that Meredith stated John does not work. Pretty wild that Jen was all up in this SEC talk, considering she is about to face a trial. Lisa is furious that they are talking about her husband, and she is clearly not looking forward to dinner.

Heather rolls up to dinner donning a bedazzled eye patch, courtesy of Jen and Meredith. Apparently, Jen just so happens to carry an eye patch in her travel bag (WTF), and she has been prepared to use it in a situation JUST like this. Bizarre. Lisa is not doing a good job hiding her feelings, and Jen is picking up on it right away.

Luckily, the tension is briefly relaxed when Angie gets carried in by her Greek gods to kick off the dinner #Cringe. Angie is very passionate about being Greek and wants to share it with the group. Good thing she gifts all the women an evil eye to ward off all the bad — clearly, this dinner is about to be a sh*tshow.

Whitney wastes no time, and she asks to find out who discussed the SEC filing about Lisa. (Looks like Lisa has also formed a team.) Lisa confronts Meredith, who states she has only talked about the SEC in passing (lies). Lisa comes clean about the SEC filing, and she makes it clear that Vida tequila is not in financial trouble.

OMG — living for Lisa mocking Meredith’s voice. Lisa hit the nail on the head. It’s laughable… almost as laughable as Heather sh*t talking Angie by saying, “It’s in poor taste to host a dinner and stir up trouble right before.” Oh, Heather.

Meredith feels like she can say anything she wants about Lisa after her “rant” or “tirade” (yet another thing Meredith and Lisa cannot decide on) because Lisa “endangered the livelihood of [Seth’s] 4,000 employees — that was reckless.” Meredith reminds Lisa that there is nowhere for their relationship to go, and Lisa reminds Meredith that there is a choice to be made here.

Lisa tells Meredith that her intentions were to hurt her, and she cannot get over how Meredith can hold her responsible for one little mistake. Heather suggests that her eye is a metaphor for the friendships of the group. It’s pretty poetic how she talks about the eye, and for a girl who doesn’t want to talk about it, she is sure talking about that eye a lot! Now, if only she would divulge who gave her the shiner. Heather tells the producers she is trying to protect herself, which really leads your imagination to wander about the cause. Bravo has exceeded the To Be Continued episodes, but alas, here we are again, STILL scratching our heads about Heather Gay’s injuries.