RHOM Recap: Lisa & Kiki Get into Heated Argument, Larsa Tells Lisa She’s Too Needy, and Lisa Reveals New Details of Divorce Settlement, Plus Julia Cries Over Old Trauma at Island of the Dead Dolls

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RHOM Recap: Lisa and Kiki Get into Heated Argument, Larsa Tells Lisa She’s Too Needy, and Lisa Reveals New Details of Divorce Settlement, Plus Julia Cries Over Old Trauma at Island of the Dead Doll

Let’s head back to Mexico City with our Real Housewives of Miami! They will be asking St. Guadalupe for support and guidance, and they will need it when they travel on the gondola of dysfunction and despair. We can always hope and pray, right?

Nicole has finally arrived after working a 24-hour shift. She got in at two a.m. and needed to get ready for the trip to the cathedral. Julia is not confident she will get any healing from the church since she did not feel supported when she tragically lost her young son. She told that story previously, and it still gets to me when she retells the story about the nanny and shaken baby syndrome. Adriana is not joining the ladies since she is resting for her big performance. Kiki thinks she is going to need a lot of prayers to make it through her performance.

Marysol, who dresses demurely, and Julia, who does not want to go, are the only ones who are appropriately dressed for the cathedral. Larsa, who’s wearing a bustier with her tits out as usual, appears to have slapped a black bib/sweater over her tatas for church. She does not have the ability to be on camera without flaunting her expansive assets. Alexia has a low-cut top, but at least she had the sense to bring a jacket to cover up. Lisa thankfully has a shawl to cover up her mid-section, but we have come to expect Lisa to be ditzy. She mentions that she is struggling with the terms of the custody agreement. Lisa sobs when she does not have her kids 50% of the time.

While kneeling in church, Larsa surprisingly is seen comforting Guerdy, who is crying and admits to being afraid. Alexia hopes that Guerdy can get comfort like she did when Frankie had his traumatic injury. This moment in the church when the ladies are supporting each other shows the connections in this cast.

The ladies discuss their experiences in the cathedral. Guerdy was pleasantly surprised with how Larsa was there to support her. Julia talks about her connection to her animals since they gave her comfort when her baby died. Lisa speaks with her lawyer and shares they are close to a settlement. She is stressed out that Lenny is going to pull a rug out from under her — figuratively and literally. Lenny then calls her, and production is not allowed to record their conversation. He wants to add one thing to their settlement — no man can permanently reside with her and their kids. Lenny can, however, allow anyone to live with him since he pays the bills.

The ladies are taking party boats/gondolas named “Miami Mamis” out on the water. Julia and Kiki keep sharing their lip gloss by kissing, and this kind of grosses me out. Lisa looks like she is not feeling well. Larsa explains that she was feeling ill from all the anxiety she is suffering with. Lisa starts talking about divorce and child custody, and she cannot stop sobbing. She feels like a total failure since she could not fix the situation she was in. Kiki reminds Lisa that Lenny failed her, not the other way around. Lisa shares that when she cries Jody does not want to comfort her since she is crying over Lenny. Larsa bizarrely tells Lisa to open her legs since that will help her feel better because that is how she holds Marcus hostage with a leg lock when he comes close.

Lisa tells Guerdy she is so lucky to have such a strong marriage. Larsa notices the poor man is having to push the boat down the river with what appears to be a stick. Lisa decides she wants to try and row the gondola. Emilio calls Adriana to see how her performance is coming along. They all toast to Adriana and the 305 and hope she will do them all justice. Larsa then tells Lisa at the worst possible time that if she loses Jody, she will be sorry and no one else will put up with her. She then calls Lisa needy and acts like a petulant child. Lisa calls Larsa mean, and you can see Lisa getting fired up. How can Larsa say that Lisa is needy when she throws parties for Marcus after missing him for five days?

Alexia then thinks a game of Truth or Dare would be a good idea, and she dares Lisa to jump in the water. Lisa wants no part of that water since she believes she will end up with STDs. Dr. Nicole wonders why Lisa is not aware of the “sexually transmitted” part of STD, but she thinks she might believe it is swimming with transmitted diseases. The other ladies do not want to see anyone thrown overboard but might make an exception for Larsa since she has plenty of flotation devices! Lisa needs to worry about Julia being the kissing bandit, locking lips and allegedly sharing lip gloss. In her ITM, production asks Julia what Martina would say, and she would ask if she was having fun. Love that Martina!

The ladies spot some huts on the shoreline and wonder about their happiness with their humble homes. Kiki is getting pissed and thinks that these privileged women, especially Lisa, should keep their opinions to themselves since her own grandma lived like this in Haiti. Lisa then spots some dogs and decides that they are malnourished and neglected, and she starts throwing food on the bank. Kiki tries to get her to stop along with the Gondola driver, who lets Alexia know this is not acceptable to do and is insulting to the dogs’ owner. She cannot believe Lisa would do this since she lets her nanny feed her own dog. Can you imagine how Lisa would lose her sh*t if yachts were trolling by her Star Island property and throwing sandwiches and chicken nuggets on her grass to feed her dogs?

Kik tries to get Lisa to understand how ignorant she is acting by assuming they are not being cared for. Lisa thinks they are not capable of feeding them anything better than the chicken she is tossing them. Lisa then starts shouting at Kiki, “Shut the f*ck up,” while standing, and Kiki has been ignited. Kiki explains that when you stand over someone and shout in their face you are looking for a beat down. Larsa cannot defend Lisa doing this since she would be ignited like Kiki is as well. Kiki then throws what looks like a juice box to try to silence Lisa. She then accuses Kiki of “assaulting” her, and Alexia is fervently looking through her bag to throw some holy water on this situation.

Everyone can recognize that this is not about feeding dogs but more about Lisa losing her mind over her divorce. Larsa then lets Lisa know that she has gone too far. Lisa then wants to get off the gondola and get away from them all. The storm clouds start swirling, and the wind picks up, and they are transported like the Wizard of Oz to a shrine of baby dolls and what looks like a dead body hanging from trees. Julia gets triggered by this shrine for a lost child and breaks down. The other ladies decide to join hands and try to return to the peace and serenity they felt at the church. PHEW, that was a lot, and thank GOD we will finally see Adriana’s performance next week! Have a wonderful day, Blurbers, and see you next week in Mexico City!

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