Nothing surprises us any more with this 90 Day Fiance crew. Even more drama this episode–let’s get right into it.
David & Annie:
Over at BBQ night in LA, David and Annie are prepping for a fun time- but, it doesn’t take long for David to get sorority girl wasted. Heavy pour! The gang is all there – creepy friend Chris, his wife, Nikki, and Nikki’s brother Antonio, who very clearly needs his own television show. David makes some slurry speech about how thankful he is for his friend Chris since he opened “his heart, his home” and his wallet*. (*He didn’t really say that part, but we were all thinking it). As the night progresses, I realize that David and Annie really have no intention of leaving Creepy Chris’s house. Did you all get a load of that yard?!
While the crew hangs late-night by the jacuzzi, we get to watch as David’s wheels fall off. Annie becomes more and more uncomfortable as David says more and more uncomfortable things to everyone, up to and including “white people jokes” and others solid comebacks like “your tacos are burning.” David’s drunk, dopey grin ain’t cutting it for Antonio, so he decides to step in Dr. Drew style and really get to the heart of the problem: Annie doesn’t like it when David drinks…so why does he continue to drink? When Nikki, Annie, and Antonio realize there is clearly no getting through to this guy, they head inside, only to be followed in by David. David says a snide remark about Antonio just wanting to f***Chris, and Antonio goes off. Antonio is getting held back by his sister (um, not for nothing Antonio, but you can’t be yelling that you would f*** someone up if your SISTER is holding you back…). Creepy friend Chris takes far too long to swoop in and drag the “ninja turtle penguin batman a** b*tch” (Antonio’s words) outside. Long story short, Annie is upset, but still believes that David can stop drinking.
David is having remorse about last night’s debacle and claims that Antonio was the one being disrespectful. Shall we go to the video tape, Dave?! He tries to smooth things over with Annie, who is super angry and rightly so. David claims that he will show Annie he can be a better man, but the thought of laying off the vodka causes him to go silent. David eventually agrees to Annie’s ultimatum about no drinking until the wedding, but I’m not buying it. The duo set out in Hollywood, doing touristy things and the fight from last night is a thing of the past. David and Annie wander into an adult novelty store because that’s what you do in Hollywood, right?! David, the romantic, rounds out the evening with a stroll on the beach with Annie. I am looking forward to what happens when they return back to Chris and Nikki’s house…
Molly & Luis:
Last episode, we left off with Luis getting cold feet about the upcoming nuptials with Molly. As Jess, Molly’s brother, and Luis bond on the sofa, Molly tries to call her dad again. Not surprisingly, he does not answer her phone call since he does not approve of the relationship Molly has with Luis. Luis explains that Molly’s dad does something called a “cotorra,” which means “not” in English. I see where he was going with this. It’s kinda like when Molly says her dad looooves Luis, but-aha- cotorra! Am I doing it right? Anyway, Molly seems ultra concerned about her dad and the wedding and I’m over here trying to tell her to be more worried about Luis, ya know, the groom who sorta wants to go back to the DR. #priorities
Molly is super stressed out about planning the wedding and she shares her concern with Luis over lunch. He states that Molly wants the wedding to be “extravagante,” whereas he would rather just go to the judge and get it over with. The one place where Luis does not want to cut corners is for the bachelor party, or as he likes to call it his “day off from the relationship” where he “kills his single life.”
Molly, and her footwear, begins powering through wedding planning, starting with her wedding hair. Man, this girl’s priorities are all over the place. Three weeks away, no venue, but dang her roots look good. Luis lends no helping hand at all and tells Molly, “it’s your wedding” and instead of Molly raising her eyebrows, she blames it on Luis adjusting to the new culture. Luis continues to say rude comments to Molly about her children, how he needs to relax, and how she has “good luck” that he has decided to stay with her. I think he is just sore that his “single life” is about to die, because after all, Luis “loves his single life.” Could he be any more inappropriate?
Molly, her girlfriends, and her co-workers all head on over to a drag show for her bachelorette party. The only issue is that it is still light out and no one should be walking in around in an outfit like Molly’s before sunset. She seems to be having a great time at the show and she deserves it for having to deal with Luis. The guys, on the other hand, roll up in a limo to “Magic City,” a strip club. Luis’s outfit is the first issue. His face and sound effects are some other major issues. The final issue is that Luis decides to stay out later than he agreed with Molly earlier. Molly’s brother does not help the situation in any way and in fact, tells the limo driver he would tip her more since they aren’t leaving the strip club yet. He must not get out often. Speaking of getting out, Molly, now is your chance!
Elizabeth & Andrei:
Andrei and Elizabeth are off to meet Elizabeth’s sisters and sister-in-law. Let’s hope this doesn’t go over like a lead balloon. Upon the initial greeting, Elizabeth’s sister instantly becomes my hero by asking “do we have to roll our R’s” when we say your name? Thank GOD someone else caught onto Elizabeth’s R roll. However, the answer is yes. Yes, the R must be rolled because….Andrei says so. The dinner seems to be going smoothly- Andrei even agrees that family is important to him, too (as long as everyone does everything that he wants them to do). The sisters stir the pot and begin asking about girls night out and of course, the bachelorette party for Libby in Vegas. Andrei must’ve heard about Vegas alllllllll the way over in Moldova. Whatever happened to “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” Buncha big mouths in Moldova, sheesh. Basically, Andrei squashes any hope of fun for Elizabeth in the future. It’s all over for her. “She will not go because I don’t like it.” Elizabeth calls this “traditional,” but sister Jen says no way Jose. She even calls him Andrei, sans R roll. That’s bold. Elizabeth tries to justify this submissive behavior because Andrei came all the way over to America for her. Uh…. Right.
The sisters of Elizabeth come up with the grand plan of having a bachelorette party in MIAMI instead of VEGAS. THAT should be something Andrei can get behind. Just no strip clubs or random men dancing on her. Oh and no fun. Definitely can’t have fun. The sisters are legitimately concerned about Andrei sucking the life out of Elizabeth and beg her for one night of fun.
Evelyn & David:
In an attempt to try and lure David into loving Claremont, Evelyn concocts a plan to go apple picking, because everyone knows that apples are the way to a person’s heart. Brother Solomon is there with them, third wheeling hard. Solomon and Evelyn are like used car salesmen, trying to highlight the best parts of Claremont, which are…. ::insert crickets here::. David tries to explain that “we are not trees; we are not stuck in one place.” The poor guy wants to get out of the small town-vibe. Evelyn, as usual, is making no attempt to compromise and it’s her way or the highway.
It’s a nice gesture that Evelyn’s parents are taking the whole band, I mean family, out for dinner; however, David is SPANISH, not MEXICAN. Good try though, fam. David points out that there isn’t much diversity in good ol’ Claremont. I don’t know what gave that away! Perhaps the Floridian who owns the Mexican restaurant?? He explains that it is hard to get used to Claremont, and really sets the family off. David triggers them and they all suddenly lay into him. According to Evelyn’s mom, Claremont is most certainly not dying. Pshhhht. What an “elitist.” It annoys me that everyone talks as though David is not at the same table. Like, he hears what you’re saying, Evelyn. She’s worried that David will pout through his life. I’m more worried David has to spend the rest of his life with Evelyn. In CLAREMONT.
Josh & Aika:
Josh and his friend Joe meet up to discuss Aika and how Joe was right about the whole Aika coming to America thing. #toldyasobro Josh begins adding up his expenses and tells his buddy that he can’t simply afford a new ring for her. Josh is also scared because Aika threatens she wants to go home. In the words of Joe, RED FLAG, DANGER. Josh just looks like schmuck, but Joe does agree to hang out with Aika more to get to know her. Maybe he can also slap some sense into his friend since he is clearly getting played.
In order to work out some of the differences, Josh decides to bring Joe and Aika to the gun range. Well, that’s an interesting choice. What about lunch? Or maybe brunch? Go crazy! Nope, a gun range. Let’s bring this tense situation to a gun range. Josh is clearly not a bright dude. I don’t know what’s better- Aika’s great aim OR her outfit for this event? Joe comes right out with it and says that he doesn’t believe Aika is good for his friend. I gotta give him props for saying it to Aika’s face, but he is a bit overly-involved as a friend. Aika did not appreciate that one bit.
Nicole & Azan:
With 5 days left in Morocco, Nicole and Azan find themselves enrapt in a dramatic fight. Whilst the producer bang on Nicole’s locked bedroom door, her daughter May is there just getting a quick mani from one of Azan’s family members. Seems to me like Nicole never heard the saying, “how can I miss you if you won’t go away?” The producers try and prod what happened out of Azan and Nicole, but neither one of them is spilling, which leads to a very awkward camera chase out on the streets. Azan states to the camera, “there is nothing to talk about,” but alas, Azan, you are wrong. There is lots to talk about. For starters, what caused this fight to happen?! Nicole barrels over to Azan who wants nothing to do with her. Nicole also calls Azan stupid, but…let’s discuss the American who gives her boyfriend money and gave up her life to come to Morocco with her small daughter. See what I did there? Nicole clearly cannot take a hint as Azan sits in the van and channels serenity now as she hollers at him, because according to Nicole, that’s the “American way” (HUH?!). The fight snowballs when Nicole pushes Azan around like he is a rag doll all because Azan was trying to get away from her. Nicole, this behavior is not endearing.
As the producers try and get answers from Nicole, she begins spewing that Azan insults her and groups Americans as a whole and then her crying gets in the way and we really have NO idea what started this battle royale. WE NEED ANSWERS. It appears as if Azan still hasn’t gotten over the fact that Nicole cheated on him- “once a cheater, always a cheater.” Azan eventually comes out of the stairwell only to get accosted by Nicole again who repeatedly slams him for saying she is crazy. Nicole, Azan doesn’t have to say you’re crazy, we allllllll see that you are. Yikes.
TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS 90 DAY FIANCE RECAP & LATEST EPISODE?