Maybe THIS episode of 90 Day Fiancé will be the episode where everyone finally realizes what a bad idea it is to force-marry in 90 days….but something tells me it’s not.
David & Annie:
Just when I thought these two couldn’t get any more awkward and painful to watch, alas, it gets worse. As David waddles around the riverfront down in Kentucky, he does his best to alleviate any trepidation Annie may have about meeting his children for the first time. Ya know, the children he left for 18 months. Yea, those ones. I’m pretty surprised he even remembers their names! David tells Annie that sure, his kids may be angry about his extended absence, but “that’s the initial shock” and after that, it will be fine. Sooo, what you’re saying is that your kids are going to be A OK with you bringing back a 24 year old fiancé who you need to marry within 90 days? Surprise!
As expected, the meeting with Annie, David, and his two kids, Ashley and Jacob is an absolute train wreck because anything involving David is an absolute train wreck. Ashley, David’s daughter, looks JUST like him, but with black extensions, which I find absolutely terrifying. She is clearly the family “hard ass” and tells it how it is, #nofilter. Jacob, David’s red-headed son, is clearly only there cuz of the camera- hello TV time! Neither one of them are really that concerned with Annie. Instead, Ashley is dead set on ripping David a new one and embarrassing him even more than I thought was possible. She claims he “b-bopped around China,” (I am unclear what this is, but it sounds super fun) left the family for two years, and warns Annie that if she wants children and a family with David, she ain’t looking at the right man to do so with. Ouch. The meeting escalates quickly when David yells that Ashley is “asking stuff that’s not really her f**ckin business,” and Ashley, in a fit of rage, throws a full glass of water on David, calls him a “b*tch,” and storms out. The good news is, I think Ashley likes Annie. The bad news is, David is gonna need a bigger towel. In the words of Jacob, “that was interesting.”
David was majorly disappointed in how his children reacted to the entire situation. You know-the one where their dad comes back in their lives after 18 months, and then having to meet his 24 year old fiancé. David forces Annie into a meeting with Ashley, David’s volatile daughter. I hope Annie is wearing her rain coat. Not sure why David would set these two up for a private meeting…Ashley cannot WAIT to spill the beans about her dad and his relationship history. “Do you really think you know my dad?” Ashley shares that David was unfaithful and would cheat on her mother. It happened often. I am surprised David was able to get MULTIPLE women to hook up with him, but then Ashley drops a bombs. “He likes to hook up with PROSTITUTES.” WHAAAAAAT?! Ashley shares with the camera that she doesn’t want Annie here. She then tells Annie that she feels like her dad wants Annie here to, “clean his house, f**k him for free, wash his clothes, and make him Thai food.” My jaw legit hit the ground. Who is telling the truth?! SO many skeletons! Annie feels like she now has to play detective to figure out who she REALLY is engaged to. Good luck, gf! You can also check out Ashley’s interview during which she explains why she was “disrespectful” to her dad and claims he is an alcoholic.
Molly & Luis:
Molly– three words: Let. It. Go. Molly is desperately clinging to the relationship she has with Luis, despite the fact that he has checked out weeks ago. In an attempt to rekindle their flame, the duo head out to a romantic dinner. Luis is painfully silent and Molly tries to get him to speak. When he DOES finally open his stupid mouth, Luis says “it’s possible” he may go home- “don’t tempt me.” Molly looks hurt and surprised and I can’t tell if she’s playing dumb or is actually that stupid. Luis is giving so many signs he is unhappy. It’s time for Molly to wake up and smell the coffee. He made it crystal clear to Molly when he said “I try, but I’m tired.” The words of a man who DOESN’T WORK. Oh and let’s not forget when he said, “They are YOUR daughters, not mine.” Oh, oh, and “If the relation no get better, I don’t care.” What a gem.
This relationship is like a car crash. You don’t want to look, but you just can’t stop staring as it gets worse and worse. Luis can’t get it through his thick skull that he is not getting “disco Molly” (she sounds fun!) and Molly has finally (hallelujah) reached her breaking point. And it gets WILD. Yet, Luis just sits there with his stupid smirk on while Molly spills her deep feelings. She shares that she let a lot go when he first got here and that this is not what she expected because Luis is dead inside, duh. The guy wants nothing to do with her kids, is “demanding and commanding,” and treats Molly like a slave. Once Molly finally stops ranting (and rightly so), Luis begins by saying “you say all of this in front of the cameras? You have the period now.”
Luis calls her crazy and shares that he has some serious Buddha beef and thinks her lack of religious icons is troublesome. Maybe it’s a cop-out? Maybe he is hammered? Molly did say he drinks every day. I had no idea Luis was so religious!! Molly calls him a “straight sinner” for his behavior for the last 90 days and explains that the Lord lives in her heart. She goes on about his pornography, his love of strip clubs, and how he needs to “analyze himself” if he calls himself a good Christian. She “freely” lets Luis go because he SUCKS and she rips her engagement ring off. Did everyone else cheer or was it just me?! Upon Molly’s angry exit, Luis makes it known that he got exactly what he wanted: Molly to break up with him. He giggles a bit, sticks his tongue out, and says to the camera, “what can I do?” How bout pack your stuff, you troll? BYE FELICIA.
Elizabeth & Andrei:
What is more embarrassing? The way Elizabeth lets Andrrrrrrrrrei talk to her OR the pink stretch limo SUV the bachelorette gang rented for the big evening out in Miami? Either way, it’s all pretty terrible. Elizabeth’s preparation for her last night out as a single lady involves a fashion show for Andrei (so he can approve all of her outfits) and her hubby-to-be threatening Elizabeth to make sure “everything is fine and dandy.” I’m not even the one going to be saying “I do” to Andrei, but I’m nervous.
The sisters and Elizabeth’s friend do the natural thing to do when a fiancé disapproves of a bachelorette party: they shoot a short video to send to Andrei stating that “Libby” will not answer her phone all weekend, so “see ya later, suckaaaaa!” Are they TRYING to get Elizabeth killed? No, like seriously. Taking away her phone is essentially taking away her life. We viewers are looking at a dead woman walking. LUCKILY- Elizabeth’s fake packing move really swayed her sisters to give her back the phone. That and probably the palpable terror Elizabeth was giving off. They all make up and Elizabeth and her crimped hair head out to da club when Elizabeth states she was “worry free and stress free.” But then she thought of Andrei, and well, that was a buzz kill.
Elizabeth gets the wind knocked out of her sails upon her arrival home post her bachelorette festivities. Andrrrrrrrrei begins his interrogation with Elizabeth and makes her feel guilty for actually having fun. Andrei should try it sometime. Fun. He may actually smile. He calls Elizabeth’s night out “stupid,” and questions the point of them even getting married based on Elizabeth’s behavior last night. He just can’t have an “uncivilized, unsafe” wife. I think Andrei has PTSD from his bouncer days. Elizabeth blames it all on trust and promises that this issue will be addressed prior to the wedding. I say, ditch him, find a better guy, and get yourself another bachelorette party. Who knows? This one may actually be fun…
Evelyn & David:
We are treated to a super awkward post sex convo by everyone’s favorite couple. David explains he felt “disappointed and betrayed” by Evelyn because she said the “S” word. Totally normal. We are then reminded that David’s family only talked about sex like once, whereas the horn dogs over at Evelyn’s talk about it on the reg evidently. Evelyn just thinks that David is a little more uncomfortable about the whole thing because he is older and may feel more judged by his decision to stay a virgin until marriage. I am judging him more on his choice of partner than I am about that, Evelyn…
Good news, though! There’s an apartment within the couple’s budget that has EVERYTHING they need and it’s right here….in Claremont. David’s face falls even more when Evelyn explains that it’s only 8 houses away from the band, I mean family. NOOOOOOOO. David is bent out of shape with this news because no one wants Evelyn’s mom barging in during the impending intimate moments. Gross.
Josh & Aika:
Does anyone really care about these two anyway?? Sigh. Josh is bent out of shape cuz Aika wants to get married and have kids!! I know. Can you even believe her?! The guy’s acting like this is an odd request, but it’s normal, you know, the opposite of Josh. Josh, trying to please his fiancé, agrees to go to the doctor to check out ways to reverse his snip. But it’s there that Aika learns about her biological clock. The doctor fills her in on the fact that SHE may be the reason they may not be able to have kids, not Josh. And Josh just sits there with a face on that clearly says “it’s not me, it’s you, biatch.” Aika does get the chance to be seen by the doctor and fortunately everything seems to be working for Aika. Josh looks momentarily terrified that he may be bringing yet another human into the world and Aika looks like she just won the lottery. Couple goals!
IVF is the only option for Josh and Aika if they want to procreate. Aika looks annoyed at this whole foray and basically calls Josh “abnormal” for having a vasectomy. The duo goes back and forth about who is more fertile and who is the one causing the issues. What a debate to have. The blame game gets old fast and Aika offends Josh by yelling, “I get another man.” She could and she should. This guy’s a total loser. If two women previously left you, Josh, maybe it IS you. Perhaps change your ways? Try a new tactic? I am happy to see him come back and patch things up with Aika, but I am weary of them as parents. They fight like children themselves!
Nicole & Azan:
On Nicole and May’s last day in Morocco, they all sit down to discuss the ups and downs of their relationship. We get a chance to relive the all the times Nicole beat Azan up, both mentally and physically. Despite all of that footage, Azan STILL wants to go through with the K1 visa. He claims he just needs to be more patient with Nicole. “She support me like all the time.” I bet she does, Azan, I bet she does. But when you DO come to America, you’re gonna find out realllllllly fast that Nicole’s stipend she would send to you when you were in Morocco is not that much. Certainly not enough to stay in THIS relationship. Azan is gonna figure it all out pretty quickly.
Nicole and May begin the goodbye tour as they get ready to head back to America. Of course Nicole tells Mina, Azan’s aunt, that she will miss her cooking… Nicole and Azan snuggle all the way to the airport. NOW he likes her. I’ve figured it out. She’s leaving, so it’s easy to like her NOW! I’m onto you, Azan. However, it was a cute send off at the airport, ya know between Azan and little May. Nicole is still a ball of nerves when it comes to Azan coming to the U.S. She is worried that this may be the last time she will see him. Way to leave a great lasting impression, Nicole. I’m sure you have a few weeks until the bruises on Azan heal, and after that, you can just send him money so he won’t forget you!
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