We all know what happens when these Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies get together to go on a trip. Let’s hope the gang doesn’t disappoint this time around…
VEGAS, baby! Rinna enters and it’s as if all the girls just found out that her lip injections are contagious. No one goes near her. Could Dorit be any more awkward seeing Rinna for the first time? Sure, they are cancers and all, but that doesn’t mean they have to automatically be bffs just cuz they share the same sign. Of course Erika is the last to arrive, as she is channeling “S&M Barbie,” working it all the way down the hotel hallway, because yes. Erika and her 90’s dominatrix outfit finally make her grand entrance. She leaves her village people hat on during the dinner, as well. Dorit continues on the awkward train and word vomits that Teddi is John Cougar Mellencamp’s daughter, making Teddy fake embarrassed that she is reality to rock and roll royalty.
To change the subject, Teddi shares that she is an accountability coach. She has women “prove to me that you’ve done your workouts.” So, she is basically paid to be a giant biatch to her clients. Teddi claims she weighed over 200 pounds and I still don’t believe it despite the photographic evidence. Teddi reminds the women she is “not a therapist,” so she therefore she would not be able to help out these wackos.
Later, the crew heads over to da club. Let’s pray we don’t get a reprise of Rinna’s dance moves from seasons back. While LVP hip thrusts and the ladies have some “dranks,” they loosen up and go gaga over their happy birthday messages on the jumbo screen. Absolutely ridiculous.
The next day, Delilah FaceTimes with mommy dearest Rinna, ya know the one that didn’t want her kids to be snobs. Delilah shares that she got herself a $280 piece of meat at dinner the night before- charged on her mother’s credit card. We continue to glimpse into motherhood as we see Dorit cooing in her fake accent to her daughter, and then complain to her husband about how difficult her life is, despite the fact that PK capped her budget off at a cool mill. “Do not spend more than one million” dollars. I KNOW. Can you believe he would give her a budget?! The nerve!
Teddi, Dorit, and Erika all head downstairs (in their jammies??) to play roulette. Teddi seems to have lady luck on her side, even though she is a self-proclaimed tight fisted lady. The three amigos start slugging back cocktails at 10:30 am and Dorit cleans up winning close to $4500.00 “Dranks” on her!! While Teddi decides to hang back with gambling, Erika reminds her that “vegas is not the place to be accountable.” You tell them, girl! Seems like the cocktails kicked in fast—Erika and Dorit are the newest besties. I can’t keep up with these women.
In the meantime, Kyle just WON’T let it go and LOVES to keep bringing up the fact that she can’t believe everyone is able to hang together. It’s as if the more she says it, the more things will absolutely fall apart…because they always do. However, it appears as though new friendships are blossoming. TBH, going to Vegas on your birthday with strangers IS weird, Teddi, but glad ya feel like you have some real friendships forming after a few hours with these girls.
The outfits just keep getting better and better. Always appropriate. Always tasteful. Can you guys see my eyes rolling?? While on the High Roller ferris wheel, Rinna is becoming exhausted by the elephant in the room – ie: the Dorit issue. Kyle is wigging out cuz Dorit highjacked “her moment” of attacking Rinna regarding her husband. But, alas Dorit needs to address the issues at hand with Rinna, right there on the slowest moving ferris wheel I have ever actually seen. I think this may be the one time I will actually agree with Rinna: let’s. move. on. And yet it just keeps going….like we are on a hamster wheel. “I feel like you have bad intentions”- Dorit to Rinna. After far too much back and forth, I think we are back in business this season- praise be!
Dorit and Rinna are friends again and have a bizarre public announcement in front of the other ladies. OF COURSE Kyle can’t be happy enough with this reunion. Kyle decides to go in with the Harry Hamlin Hike story….although I am not even sure it’s a story??? What?? H-squared didn’t say hi to Kyle out on a hike? H-squared bashed Kyle’s sister? Who hasn’t?! Pssssht. After much ado about nothing, Rinna claims, “I have learned more with all of you women than I have learned more than 20 years of my life.” Where the hell has she been this whole time?! Living under a rock?
Kyle, the one who PLANNED the trip for these birthday girls, is busy packing for her Croatian adventure. Go figure. Answer me this: why is there an entire segment about the girls fondling an “ice dildo?” Bravo- bring back the DRAMA. Teddi shares that she is “not defined by” her parents when Dorit, once again, starts discussing John Cougar Mellencamp, Teddi’s daddy dearest. Teddi unintentionally brings up a sore subject by asking Erika about HER dad. Andddd Erika only met her father when she was age 25. Anddd now of course, Erika looks like she wants to maul Teddi. Now THIS is what I am talking about with the drama!
Erika refers to her father a stranger and all the women see a softer side of this self-proclaimed hard a*s. Erika states that, sure, people may think, “you didn’t have a dad so you married an older man”…but her “dad is MUCH younger than” her “husband.” Jokes on you, world! In the morning, Teddi shares with Dorit that she feels like Erika makes her feel a bit insecure. The stage is set now. Looks like this season Teddi is gonna have a hard time with Erika. Thanks, producers!
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