Southern Charm Recap: The Break-Up Brunch Part 2

by Julia Comments

Southern Charm Recap The Break-Up Brunch Part 2

7:30 pm and grill master Craig still hasn’t cooked the food completely. Seems like everyone is getting salmonella in this episode of “Southern Charm!”

Everyone’s on the way to the Shep-show, aka Shep’s 38th birthday party. For a short time, it’s all the boys plus Thomas’s new girlfriend, Ashley. A VERY pregnant Cameran shows up and she is absolutely adorable. Cam is sport of the year-I for one would not be waddling up a zillion steps to eat un-cooked chicken for Shep…but I guess the drama is an enticing point and she is good at getting it out of people.

For instance, when Cam gets a chance to talk to Craig about the Naomie break-up, Craig open ups immediately and admits that he is very nervous to see her because he hasn’t been around her for three months. Craig goes on to state (like a salty single girl would) that he is “just focusing on me.”
Meanwhile, the girls’ cab is full of angry ladies coming in hot. They legit talk about EVERYONE attending the party and EVERYTHING that EVERYONE at the party has done wrong in their eyes. It is a recipe for disaster. They talk about “women empowerment” and are ready to take on the men. They are women, hear them roar.

I can actually feel the awkwardness from just watching this unfold. As the girls walk into Shep’s yard, everyone is legit sh*tting their pants, but I think Thomas wins the most awkward award. The polite hellos and how-do-you-dos go over like lead balloons and leave it to Thomas to dive right in. He calls out Kathryn, who proceeds to give a cold hug and he introduces her to his new girlfriend, Ashley. #awkward.

The no-eye-contact hug seems to be quite popular at this party as Craig and Naomie nailed it, just as great as Kathryn and Thomas. Chelsea and Austen also have a very uncomfortable greeting and this all just really seems like a break-up’s worst nightmare. Thanks, Shep!

The exes try to navigate this increasingly toxic situation and because this friend group is a Bravo cast always hangs out together, it makes it impossible for anyone to move on. Solid move, Andy Cohen. You’ve got yourself built-in drama that is chock full of possibilities!

People small talk and mingle as Craig and the rest of the “cooks” try to figure out when and if dinner will ever be served or cooked thoroughly at the very least. Naomie, despite Kathryn’s evil eye, talks a bit to Thomas and his new girlfriend Ashley. Thomas grossly “fondles” his lady right in front of everyone and I can’t help but feel a twang of empathy toward Kathryn.

The juxtaposition between Shep’s outfit and JD’s sport coat and khakis is hilarious. Where does JD come from? Answer: the guest house. It is made very clear that no one likes JD these days as he is dodging rumors of being unfaithful. Outside by the grill, Chelsea fills Austen in on how the girls really feel about JD: “People hate JD. Like the girls. It’s bad.”

To try and move the party (and awkwardness along), Cameran sits at the dining table and states “I’m gonna eat like Roseanne.” Go, girl. Eventually, the crowd follows and everyone is in awe that Shep was “able to bring everyone together, so that’s good.”

As the girls break off to fix a plate and grab a seat at the table, Kathryn seeks out Thomas, who is very clearly wasted. Let’s hope that’s the reason why he’s spitting out bad jokes. Kathryn is triggered once she hears that Thomas hired a new nanny without Kathryn’s green light. Part of their agreement is that they collaborate on important decisions for their children..ya know, such as the lady who is gonna essentially do everything for their kids!

Their sweet convo gets high-jacked by Ashley-no-pants. Ashley over-shares her life with Thomas to Kathryn and states that her “children are beautiful.” Kathryn freezes because then that means that Ashley has met her children. Kathryn literally didn’t even know about Ashley until a little bit ago and is now fuming.

Shep gives a toast and everyone laughs and it seems as if there is potential for everyone to finally get along…but alas, that positive moment does not last long. JD states he is “half single” and that his wife doesn’t want him, but also doesn’t want him to be with anyone else. All the girls rolls their eyes at JD and you can tell that Naomie is about to lose it on him. Displaced anger much?

Naomie can’t hold her tongue a minute longer as she listens to JD’s sob story. She sticks her nose right into his business and goes too far when she states that “everyone at this table thinks you’re a piece of sh*t.” That leaves JD no other option but to leave the party.

Craig (and his new chew habit?? Holy bottom lip. How is she taking him seriously with that dip lip?) goes to check in on Naomie. This is probably the first time the exes chat one on one and it causes old wounds to open up again. Craig tries to soothe Naomie as she gets teary and he even goes as far as saying he would essentially like to have another chance down the road. Naomie believes that Craig is happier now that they have broken up, but Craig says that is sad, too.

The next day, Naomie and Kathryn meet to chat about the previous night. Kathryn cheers Naomie on for calling out JD on his “unfaithfulness.” Naomie cried last night and now it’s Kathryn’s turn. I don’t think Kathryn ever really shared her feelings with anyone and it seems like a fresh friendship is in the midst of forming this season.

Meanwhile, Thomas, Ashley, and her pearls (cuz #classy) head out for dinner. Thomas’s winks and lip-licking give me the absolute creeps, but I guess having enough money can keep some ladies around. The couple discusses Kathryn and Thomas warns Ashley of his ex’s crazy ways. Thomas tells Ashley that he doesn’t think Kathryn ever really loved him. The guy must’ve had too much white wine cuz when Ashley asks Thomas if he wished it worked out with Kathryn, his statement is not an ideal response. What is with these men on this show?! Don’t they know that these ladies are angry and out for blood this season?!