On this episode of 90 Day Fiancé, Before the 90 Days, relationships are tested and it’s clear that not everyone is going to end up together after all.
Darcey and Jesse:
So, Jesse up and left Darcey’s AirBnB and according to Darcey, “Last night we basically broke up.” Jesse explains that he wants to figure out where he stands with Darcey and their “relationship,” which is why he called to talk to Darcey later that night. He also felt that it was very important to say goodbye to Darcey’s daughters before he heads back to Amsterdam, because he made such a fabulous first impression on them. Darcey is living in the twilight zone and states that, “Our passion, chemistry is magnetic.” This girl lies to herself so hard it’s ridiculous. Also ridiculous, why is Darcey wearing MULTIPLE rings on her wedding ring finger?
When the duo goes to say goodbye to Darcey’s daughters, Jesse greets them creepily saying, “Beautiful. You guys look great. Meeting you guys was absolutely the highlight so thank you for receiving me.” Ew. Gross. Stop the madness. Darcey’s forced group hugs are nauseating and she continues to lie to herself that the couple will make it out ok in the end. Dream. On.
On the ride to the airport, Jesse states that he is “sad to go,” which makes me wonder WTF his life is like back in Amsterdam. ANYTHING could be better than fighting with Darcey in the states. Of course Darcey probes and wants to figure out “their future.” She even suggests that Jesse get a “work Visa” to move out to “CT.” Jesse LOVES it in “CT,” especially the “free refills.” I’m dead. Jesse thanks Darcey and says that he is “surely grateful” and that he “loves” Darcey. These two make me crazy! Now they’re taking about “beautiful sunsets!”
It’s only a matter of time before the couple has a meltdown and this time, it’s traffic that causes Jesse’s psychotic meltdown. After an hour stuck in traffic, Jesse is beyond angry…what else is new…but Darcey manages to get him to the airport on time. There’s a quick lovey-dovey goodbye, which leaves me questioning everything. They are an absolute sh*t show and I can’t imagine how this relationship can truly survive, especially LDR status. Darcey states that the “next time they see each other, it’s either gonna be a proposal or, I move on.”
Marta and Daya:
Because TLC loves a good 90 Day curveball, they’ve decided to throw a new cast member into the mix with Marta and her “mini-me” daughter and son. Marta is a single mother who “lives for her children,” but was never married. Dating is hard for Marta…that is until she met a “super sexy man from Algeria” who friend requested her. Before she knew it, Marta fell in love with a 26 year old Muslim man who doesn’t speak a lick of English.
Marta explains that because they cannot continue this “pen-pal relationship,” she will be heading to Algeria for two weeks. “Recently, the different religion thing has caused some friction between us” andddd Daya has not be responding to Marta. Isn’t that interesting? Right before Marta is set to travel to Algeria, the guy goes radio silent. When the producer asks Marta’s son what he knows about Daya, he responds, “I know he likes to work out because he has rock hard abs.” Um, what?!
In preparation for Marta’s upcoming trip, she heads to the nail salon with her mother. Despite the fact that Daya has been MIA lately, Marta’s still planning on heading to Algeria to meet her true love. Marta’s mom is very concerned about this “couple” and does her best to try and understand what her daughter sees in this “relationship.” Marta’s mom further probes and asks if Daya knows about her “exotic dancing.” Evidently, Marta comes from a family of exotic dancers, which is…….interesting. Marta explains that Daya is not pleased with her “job” and Marta’s mom fears about the trip to Algeria because Marta is an “alpha woman.” Her mother also says that she went to a psychic to ask about this relationship, and the psychic said that there would be dangers ahead for her daughter. OOOOO. Suspenseful!
Rachel and Jon:
The newly engaged love birds are getting everything in before Rachel returns back to Albuquerque. Rachel laments her upcoming departure and Jon states that they “need to have a plan.” Yea, no sh*t, Jon. Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to have a criminal record. Jon states that it would be best if Rachel married him in England in six months and then try to enter the US as Rachel’s hubby. Rachel needs an expert opinion and says that she wants to meet with a lawyer to find out what exactly the couple is up against.
Later that night, Rachel, Jon, and Lucy head out to meet Matt, Jon’s best friend. Rachel is looking forward to meeting this guy because he is Jon’s oldest buddy. Matt can’t quite wrap his mind around this bizarro relationship and is completely baffled upon hearing about the engagement. Matt states that the couple appears to be in this “fairy tale kind of thing” and is concerned that they may be rushing a bit. Matt further explains that “commitment levels” aren’t normally Jon’s strong suit and then drops a bombshell that Jon has been in open relationships for months. Rachel is grossed out by the idea and does not “approve of open relationships.”
Post the whole “open relationship” news Rachel has learned from Jon’s buddy Matt, things are AKWARD with the couple. Rachel worries that once she leaves, Jon would hop into another “open relationship.” Jon dodges the topic, but Rachel makes it clear that she is not ok with the whole thing. Jon should just stop talking as he explains that he has had some “married friends with benefits,” something he should not be sharing with Rachel, as she is leaving England the next day. Turns out that Jon isn’t only an ex-criminal, he is also a love machine!
The time has come for Rachel and Lucy to head back to Albuquerque and Rachel is super sad. I would be too if I just found out my criminal fiancé also has a problem with open relationships. The tears flow as Jon drops them off at the airport and Rachel explains that she is upset “because this whole thing is not fair.” After a very emotional goodbye, Jon sends his wife-to-be and daughter-to-be back onto a flight to America. And now it’s time to test the long distance relationship out again…
Angela and Michael:
“Michael and I are on our way to a beach resort. It’s a romantic place!” It sure is! Michael is totally a romantic who clearly just wants to make Angela happy the last couple of days they have to spend together. Angela is still doubting every word that comes out of Michael’s mouth and you can tell she knows this is not a good situation. She asks to see Michael’s phone and is heartbroken to see that Angela’s picture is still not set as his background. Angela explains that she doesn’t appreciate the fact that Michael just says whatever Angela wants to hear, but doesn’t actually take any action.
Angela is also displeased that Michael follows “thousands of women” and doesn’t trust his intentions, especially when it comes to social media. Angela continues to explain Michael’s lies to him and then addresses the “**** job thing.” What the…?? Turns out that Michael cheated on Angela…he took a girl home and she didn’t have any money, so naturally the girl offered Michael a **** job to thank him. Angela is still not over the situation and she believes that Michael went out looking for some loving. Michael actually comes clean about the whole ordeal and it seems that Michael lied about everything for over a year. What a dog. “Ya lie, ya cheat, ya cheat, ya lie. It all runs together.” That may be the smartest thing Angela has ever said.
Angela is livid and super upset. So much for a romantic beach getaway. Angela hunkers down at the “resort” bar and calls her daughter Scottie to share her embarrassing love story full of lies. And hold up! Michael called Scottie to tell her that “your mom misunderstood me and she went out drinking.” Who tattles like that?! Angela ends the call with Scottie and Michael rolls up to the bar, only to take the heat from Angela, who is p*ssed that Michael went behind her back and talked to her daughter. Michael has also given up, stating, “She doesn’t give me time to explain myself, you know?”
It’s too late. Angela is losing her mind. “I can’t stand his f*cking a*s. I can’t stand him.” Angela is on an absolute rampage and has reached her breaking point when Michael phones Scottie yet again. It’s clear that Michael did not listen to Angela’s threats about going behind her back. She hollers, “You better get out of my Georgia-a*s face.” Michael tries to calm the crazy lady, but Angela states, “As soon as the sun comes up in the morning, my a*s is going home.”
Paul and Karine:
HOLD UP. Is Paul wearing a bullet proof vest as he walks about the town?! It’s been two weeks since Paul and Karine have become Mr. and Mrs., but Paul explains that they are arguing “all the time about cultural differences.” The tension is thick, especially after Karine’s brother and friends ate the weeks’ worth of food Paul bought. Paul even went as far as calling Karine’s brother a “thief.”
Paul awkwardly tries to find out Karine’s reasons for her anger, but she wants nothing to do with the whole situation. She doesn’t want to talk to Paul, which is fine, considering she can’t even communicate with her husband without a phone app translator. One thing is clear though: Karine wants a divorce. Already. Paul claims that he “didn’t see this coming,” but I have to hope he is just lying to himself. Karine appears to be exhausted by the whole Paul thing and is over it all.
Paul starts to get dirty and begins telling Karine all of the things he bought for the apartment, making Karine feel as though she lives off of Paul’s money, therefore, Karine runs away and I am getting déjà vu from the last season. Paul is begging Karine to talk to him, but she locked herself up in her aunt’s house. Paul states, “It’s just a nightmare. The whole thing’s a friggin nightmare.” A translator is called to the scene, because ya know, language barrier.
Paul sits with Karine’s mother, who calls Paul a smart a*s and offers to buy Paul groceries to replace the “stolen food” that Karine’s brother ate. Karine’s mom also states that Paul is not respectful to her daughter and that she is “very angry and sad.” Especially about Paul’s social media status directed at Karine regarding his frustrations with her. The guy’s an absolute hot mess and Karine’s mom is as done with him as Karine is.
Ricky and Ximena:
Ah, Ricky. The guy who came to Colombia for exhibit A, but wound up with exhibit B. Ricky explains that he has a natural bond with Ximena, so therefore, he plans to propose to her….tomorrow….before he leaves. It’s all insane, considering that he actually bought the ring for Melissa, the first woman he came to meet in Colombia. Rickster is in a bit of a pickle considering that he has yet to come clean about the whole second string thing. The couple decide to visit another beautiful area in Colombia and Ximena explains she is “very happy.” Poor girl. She actually thinks Ricky is a good guy. As Ricky drops hints about the whole Melissa thing, Ximena is blind to the fact that Ricky did not come to Colombia just to meet her.
Ximena TOWERS over Ricky in her wedges and the couple sit down for a romantic dinner, with rose petals on the table and all. Ricky decides tonight would be the perfect time to tell Ximena the truth about Melissa, after toasting with a BIG glass of red wine. The guy downs the wine and it is clear he is trying to get some liquid courage. I’m cringing watching this unfold and Ricky lets Ximena know the difficult truth. “I see a future for us, but when I was on Colombian Cupid in the beginning, I was talking to a person and that person’s name, Melissa.” Ximena looks like she may actually KILL Ricky and I am 99.99999% sure that Ricky will go “missing” in less than 24 hours.
Ricky explains that he was “in love with” Melissa, BUT, not to worry, he’s really in love with Ximena. Ximena puts two and two together and realizes that MELISSA is the reason why he came to Colombia. Ricky tries to make it seem like he is some courageous hero who only told the truth because he loves Ximena. She ain’t having it! Ximena is P*SSED and rightly so and makes it clear that she is “no one’s second place.”
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