“I mean, it’s really brutal. He was really someone that I went to for everything. So him being gone is just a massive void and I really can’t believe he’s gone,” Bethenny reveals in a confessional interview during the RHONY episode that will air on April 3.
Part of the information will be shared in confessional interviews, while other facts will be shared in a conversation she has with a therapist.
“He had such a powerful force in my life and [was] such a loving person and my daughter loved him that it was this whole thing that was hard to extricate myself from,” she reveals to her therapist on camera as she tries to make sense of his death.
“But I had just said though that week, I haven’t told anybody this, I had just said the Saturday before [he died], ‘I have to exit this dynamic.’ So then it was a lot on my mind about him dying right after that. I could not get off the ride and I feel guilty that the only way I got off the ride is that he’s dead.”
She tells her therapist that she feels better but that she does feel guilty about his death. She believes he would want her to feel better about everything.
Bethenny also talks about the pressures of staying in a relationship with Dennis, as he told her that he didn’t want to date anyone else after Bethenny.
“Dennis told me, [if] we didn’t work out, he was never going to be in a relationship again. He was going to be alone for the rest of his life,” Bethenny reveals in another confessional interview.
“It was a tremendous pressure and it kept me in. I don’t know what happened that night and I will always have to live with that, for whatever that means,” she added.
The Real Housewives of New York airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EST on Bravo.
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