Braunwyn’s Palm Springs vow renewal is in full swing, but that’s not the only excitement for this event. Shannon is “reeled right now” because of Kelly and let’s get serious, it’s not a Real Housewives of Orange County party without a fight breaking out.
Shannon, the queen of timing, chooses to address her anger towards Kelly right after Braunwyn’s vow renewal. She slurs about “tinctures” and companies that make water products, while Kelly just deflects and does a fine job of helping Shannon look crazy. Luckily, Shan and Kelly make up just in time for Braunwyn to bring them to the reception…you know the one where there’s no tequila.
Shannon makes her way back to her hotel room to fuel up. And by fueling up, I mean guzzling tequila. How rude is Shannon for drinking back in her room as if she is pregaming for a college football game?! It’s not like Braunwyn is not supplying alcohol at her event…Shannon could most definitely find something else to drink at the party if tequila is not served. Grow up.
As Shan downs her tequila, her daughter, Stella, decides to compare Shannon’s vow renewal to Braunwyn’s. Things get heavy, Shannon starts crying, and memories of her past marriage resurface. This might explain why Shannon has more and more booze…to perhaps numb her feelings?
Over at the reception, Braunwyn makes press-worthy speeches about embracing what their marriage is and gives marital advice to her guests. Shan eventually joins the party (with tequila from her room in hand) and she is a hiccupping, wasted mess.
She has absolutely no concept of etiquette at this point and continues to discuss how disappointed she is in Braunwyn for making her seem like a liar. Man-Do you think Gina wants to keep hearing about how sad and depressing her house is? Maybe Shan should just let it go…
Would these women stop asking Elizabeth about her sex life with Jimmy? First of all, maybe Elizabeth just hired Jimmy to stand in as a boyfriend this season. WHO CARES?! Second of all, this interrogation is hilarious coming from Emily. Like she is sooo busy getting it in with Shane.
OMG DRUNK SHANNON. I am cringing as she grabs Braunwyn’s kids and starts rambling. “My ex-husband surprised me with a vow renewal and it didn’t work out.” How many times can Shannon say upbeat and happy?! And how long can these kids just awkwardly laugh at Shannon and her incoherent speech about marriages?
Shannon is just killing it with the cringey moments tonight. She sashays up to Kelly ready to beef about water again, but Kelly can smell tequila and knows better. Before things escalate, she pulls a Kelly move and flips Shannon’s nose. This was definitely a good tactic by Kelly because at least she derailed Shannon’s drunken anger toward her.
SO Elizabeth and Jimmy did have sex. Once. Wait. This isn’t adding up and when Elizabeth turns bright red trying to explain herself, it is clear that she is caught in a lie. Apparently, Elizabeth stopped having sex with Jimmy AFTER he found out she was married. She keeps saying how she is “playing by the rules and moving on with a lot of assets.” She is so focused on material things and money that she may be missing out on a real relationship.
Someone just turn Shannon’s mic off. By the end of the night, she is truly a disaster. Not only is she lying (“I am here for you and I love you more than life”) but she is slurring and toppling over newly sober Braunwyn. I think Braunwyn already knew that you were on the tequila, Shan. Coming clean to her is not really groundbreaking.
On the walk back to the room, Shannon fears she has caught corona from Braunwyn’s grandmother, because the grandfather is a doctor and has handled cases. Maybe she should be more worried about the cheese she is contemplating consuming after it sat out in her room all evening. DYING over her speaking Spanish to the housekeepers about this cheese. Pretty impressive watching her try to get her drunken thoughts translated. Something tells me Shannon is gonna be mad at herself tomorrow morning.
The next morning, bright and early, Gina, Braunwyn, and Emily attend an AA meeting, in Palm Springs. Emily’s tagged along to give Braunwyn a second chance and to support her best friend, Gina. While the ladies bond at the meeting, Shannon and her hangover try to erase what occurred the previous night by eating scrambled egg whites. Someone should give her a sausage, egg, and cheese asap.
Elizabeth woke up “super upset” over her ex-husband. Turns out the Palm Springs hotel is right by the house she built with her ex. This is triggering to her. She fears she may be coming across as a gold digger throughout this divorce, but hey, Botox doesn’t pay for itself, does it?
Cracking up at the outfits on these ladies as they catch up by the pool. You’ve got Kelly buttoned-up (for once), Emily dressed like she is going dancing, Elizabeth looking like a jungle princess, and Shannon nude under her bathrobe. Braunwyn joins the group with some bad news: her twins have head lice. Interesting to see that these women are more worried about LICE than they are of the Coronavirus. According to Elizabeth, “In sixty days, it’ll be pretty much gone.” Pshhht. Maybe the lice. But Covid? That’s here for the long haul, girl.
Elizabeth shares how she cried by herself in her room because her divorce is nearly finalized. She goes on to say she is not the “empowered woman” she thought she was, especially because she still talks to her ex. I mean, Elizabeth sent the guy a text that says, “I’m really sorry I filed for divorce.” WTF. She should probably stop doing that. Even though Elizabeth is crying over the text she sent to her ex, you can tell she recoils a bit when Braunwyn goes over and hugs her. LICE MUCH?!
Seems like Elizabeth is not ready to be in a new relationship…so I guess it’s a good thing she doesn’t sleep with Jimmy and he is juuuuust her best friend. HUH. Elizabeth states that her ex won’t settle with her, but that she has enough to be comfortable in life without his help. Gina screams advice to her: walk. away.
Shannon comes right out and says that she thinks Elizabeth likes this back and forth with her ex. Kelly goes further and says that Elizabeth’s relationship with her ex is straight exhausting. The ladies go on about letting go of material things. Hello pots, meet the kettles. And Kelly gives the perfect advice: “to get over somebody, you gotta get under somebody else.” Or, get thrown in the pool by Kelly. “It’s like shock treatment for ex-husbands.” Here’s to hoping it works for Elizabeth.
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