Welcome back, Blurbers! If this is your first time tuning in, let me get you caught up. Reality Blurb has started Open Post, a little corner of the internet where you can comment on whatever you want, including shows we don’t normally cover on here! It’s also a space to have fun and socialize, so please keep it all about peace and love on here, and don’t get in any petty ass arguments, okay?
We cover as many reality shows as we can, and while we hope to cover more, if your favorite show isn’t on here, you can do one of two things: First, you can send the editor an email at [email protected] and tell them what shows you hope to be covered on here. We’ll see what we can do. Second, you can use Open Post as a refuge to discuss your beloved shows! We’re all for it!
If you have any suggestions for Open Post topics (and I sure need some!!), please send them to [email protected]. Alrighty, now that we have all that out of the way, it’s time to get to today’s topic: per Blurber Ronnie’s request, it’s a Working List of the Top Most Beautiful Housewives!
A few things, before we begin. One, is that of course beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder. I’m basing this list on which Housewives I think are gorgeous, but make no bones about it, I don’t expect you to agree! That’s what the comments section is for! Secondly, I hope this post doesn’t come off as some sexist, dated beauty pageant, where the winner will be crowned Queen Pretty! This list is in no particular order, and isn’t even technically a Top Ten. We’re just here to look at some hotties, ya dig?
Finally, you might be asking why this is a working list. Well, as noted in the Open Post about the best and worst Housewives husbands, things can change with people. It’s not like I’m about to call Erika Jayne beautiful when we all know how ugly she is on the inside. Why reward jerks like that? And maybe someday, someone on this current list will steal money from orphans too, so let’s just put a big fat asterisk next to these entries, to account for any potential disaster in the future.
Alrighty! With all that out of the way, let’s line them up and fawn all over their beauty!
Siberian Husky eyes!
Oof, I just can’t with that Lady Godiva hair. (I meant that in a good way!) When I look at my hair in the mirror, I see a dirty blonde mop that I don’t bother to style beyond a ponytail, so whenever I see Joyce’s glorious locks, I do my best not to FLY INTO A JEALOUS RAGE.
She’s a tall glass of water with a penchant for statement necklaces, and puts my late 30’s body to SHAME in a swimsuit. Seriously, I have no idea how Luann does it, but if sometime in the future, we all learn she made a pact with the devil for her killer body, I won’t be even the slightest bit surprised.
I don’t know if it’s makeup or what, but Monique’s skin positively GLOWS. Out of all the cast members on Real Housewives of Potomac, I think she’s the best dressed as well, but I’ll have to save that topic for another Open Post. I know some will disagree, but I’ll miss Monique and her effervescent smile.
Elegance of the highest order! To be honest, I think Lisa’s ‘English Rose’ style isn’t my cup of tea [ducks from flying rotten vegetables], but I respect her for committing to a look! My favorite kind of LVP will always be a tee-shirt and jeans LVP.
50-Cynth’s gone a little overboard with the fillers as of late, but when she first appeared on Real Housewives of Atlanta, I could understand why she was damn near a supermodel. THAT BONE STRUCTURE. I also really loved her style in the early years.
Whitney is one of the reasons why I named this a working list. When she came on the scene last year, I thought she was very pretty, but by the time the reunion aired, her eyebrows were raised to Brittany Cartwright heights from all the botox, and her boobs were the size of volleyballs. I so wish she would have stuck with her natural beauty, but such is the life on these Housewives shows.
Okay, putting this list together is just making me feel bad about myself about this point. DAMN JOANNA’S GOOD GENES! Now that the pandemic is easing up, Joanna’s body is as good a reminder as any to renew my gym membership.
Yep, she’s on the list! [ducks from flying banana cream pies] I went back and forth on this one because I sure don’t care for the Gorgas. However, let’s be real. Melissa is one of the (outwardly, at least) prettiest cast members to ever appear on Real Housewives of New Jersey, and if I looked that good in catsuits, I’d probably wear them all the time too.
Okay, so if I were a middle-aged wife of a plastic surgeon, I wouldn’t mind looking like this. Ms. Fancy Pants is a classy beauty, with an enviable luggage closet (kidding) and a taste for the finer things in life. I remember when the cast of Real Housewives of Orange County went on a trip, and she walked out in a bikini, and I was like, “Oy, oy, oy, Heather!” Raise a glass of champs for that amazing body!
Give me an A! Give me an S! Give me an H! (And so on.) Sure, Ashley’s husband is creepy as hell, but does anyone else find her as cute as a button? Not even in a cheerleader/drill team kind of way? Oh well, carry on…
Ageless. When Garcelle sat for drinks with Lisa Rinna (and held her feet to the fire in a way that someone should have seasons ago), I couldn’t stop staring at her. No wonder she’s a former model. (By the way, does anyone watch The Real? Is it any good? Is she any good on it?)
In the immortal words of Venus Xtravaganza, “Touch this skin, darling, touch this skin honey, touch all of this skin! You just can’t take it!” Sheree is no stranger to makeup, but whenever she was in a scene on Real Housewives of Atlanta with a fresh face, I thought she was absolutely stunning.
Closing out the list with RHOSLC star Heather who is a perfect example of someone whose inner beauty makes them even more beautiful on the outside!
To be honest, there are a lot of attractive Housewives out there, and I didn’t have nearly enough room to list them all, so I’d love to hear who I missed! Or who you totally disagree with! Like I said above, though, please be respectful to each other because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and none of us are totally going to agree on this topic. Have a great Sunday, Blurbers!
TELL US – Who do you think are the most beautiful Housewives? What shows are you watching these days? What Open Post topics would YOU like to see?