It’s time for The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion, part one. We are one snowflake down since Jen was not in attendance (but she managed to post on Instagram her LIVE tell-all “The Real Story of Jen Shah” right as the reunion aired. Coincidence? I think not…).
Andy probes the women as they primp, and he amps them up a bit like a coach does to a football team before a big game. Except this isn’t a game — it’s a battle of who can scream the loudest and get their point across the fastest.
A Sprinter van drops the ladies off on set because, let’s be honest, *THE* Sprinter van is basically a better cast member than most this season. Andy greets them all and learns that Heather’s black eye took about 10 days to heal (eye roll).
The women ooh and ah over the set design theme, “dilapidated church.” Translation: The set design team just gave up when they learned that Jen’s legal team advised her not to attend the reunion. Everyone is mixed on how they feel about Jen’s void, and Heather explains that Jen called her right before she walked into the courtroom to tell her she is pleading guilty #rideordie.
But first, can we please find out what happened with this black eye… and for a lady who doesn’t really wanna talk about it, Heather is DEFINITELY talking about it. “All eyes were on Heather.” You can say that again, Andy. I am cringing rewatching the drunken Marilyn Monroe theme party footage.
Heather claims she blacked out and did not know how it happened. She was afraid of the narrative her cast would recreate, which is why she was so cagey about the cause. Lisa states that it impacted lives, and she wishes Heather just remembered she blacked out from the get-go. Heather cries that she has a lot of “Mormon shame” and “humiliation,” and she never wanted to implicate anyone on the set or production. Heather shares what she DOES remember — not much. She did not want an investigation because she was embarrassed.
Meredith claims that no one had a lot to drink that night, so that means only one thing: That Special K and mushroom concoction Lisa spoke of earlier. JK. BUT — why was Jen Heather’s first call the next morning? Heather states that she trusted Jen the most for “coming up with a cover story.” Riiiight. Whitney and Lisa let Heather know that it didn’t look good, and Heather says, “I would rather have Jen do that to me than a stranger.” WHAT.
Heather cannot answer Andy’s direct questions about Jen being the cause of the black eye. No one is buying what Heather is selling, and I can almost hear Lisa’s eyes rolling from my sofa. Many of the ladies believe that Jen gave Heather the black eye, and perhaps it even came from the notorious Barbie scissor kicks Angie K. hinted at. But alas, we have to wait until next week to see what kind of story Heather can cook up in response…
Earlier in the reunion, Andy addressed the “rant and retaliation” between Meredith and Lisa. It seems as though Meredith and Lisa are still on the outs. Meredith explains that her issues with Lisa today have “nothing to do with her childish tantrum.” Meredith divulges that after Arizona, they were in a neutral space until Lisa unfollowed Meredith. But the nail in the coffin was when Lisa posted the texts about Meredith’s father’s death.
Meredith claims she was “concerned” about Lisa’s behavior during and after the hot mic moment, but she did not reach out to Lisa to see if she was OK. Meredith does apologize for spreading rumors about Lisa, and then the Lisa rumors get addressed… well, kind of. Whitney attempts to clear up what happened with Meredith. She swears she never said Lisa “gave blowjobs for courtside seats,” but rather, Heather spun her words in Arizona. In an effort to clarify the who and why the rumors began, it all becomes super confusing, especially when Lisa states she is grateful for Whitney because she STOPPED the rumors… eh… she started them…!!
Andy asks Lisa about insinuating Meredith had a pill problem. Lisa said that Jen said that Meredith and Heather “popped pills.” Andy calls it an “accusation” to say someone has a pill problem, and Lisa blurts out that if Meredith has a problem with it, she should call Jen. And then, Meredith does just that. She puts Jen right on the spot and asks her, point blank, on speaker, if she ever said Meredith and Heather were popping pills.
OF COURSE, Jen denies this ever happening, and I have to agree with Lisa on this one — how could Meredith believe someone going to prison over her? “You believe this over me? I’m not going to jail.” I mean, Lisa claims that the ladies were on mushrooms and ketamine (special K)! Now, that’s a helluva combination and rather specific I dare say… how can we ever find out if this is the truth?!
Lisa becomes unhinged and tells Meredith she is making up stuff. Andy reminds Meredith that she was talking smack about Lisa’s SEC filing. It was really the way she brought it up and talked about it with the group. The friendship is at a stalemate, and the split screen is giving soap opera as Meredith spews BS out of her mouth about their friendship that was.
Good news comes out of this mess, though: Lisa says she would consider creating a holiday EP (and she even hints that she might be already working on it).
Enter the friends of: Angie K., Angie H., and Danna. Danna states that Jen had a good aura around her, but then Danna felt triggered after seeing the way Jen approached Angie H. Danna explains that she wanted to tell Jen she was friends with an informant in her case in hopes of Jen having some accountability, but that sure backfired as displayed in the never-before-seen footage. Danna further explains that she owns multiple properties and did not appreciate that Jen made fun of where she lives when Jen does not even own a home. Boom.
Angie H. tries to clear her name with this whole “blowjobs for Jazz tickets,” and she manages to anger Lisa even further when she said John Barlow was acting like a lunatic at a game. When Angie called Whitney, she said, “it’s interesting he’s sitting in ***** seat,” and so evidently, Whitney took it upon herself to fill in the blanks. Lisa lets everyone know she is a “really big Jazz fan,” but she doesn’t sleep with the players either.
Lisa denies having any troll accounts and tells Angie H., “You’re trying to take away from the fact that your husband trolled me.”
Angie K. confirms she thought she was the co-hostess of the San Diego trip. She then explains that Jen always wanted her in the group, but with conditions. Angie feels as though by spilling the champagne over her head, Jen was proving that Angie was below her. No one (except Heather) thinks that was a “fun b*tch” move.
Meredith and Heather believe that Angie went below the belt when she outted all the money Jen owed her after throwing Coach a party, but Angie says she was at her tipping point with Jen. Angie tells Meredith that she has bad people skills, and Meredith throws a jab at Angie by stating she has been trying to get on the show for the last three seasons. To that, Angie retorts, “I know people here.”
According to Angie, Jen bashed Heather’s business, and Heather responds, “It’s par for the course with Jen.” Heather wonders why sometimes it’s okay to talk sh*t and sometimes not with this group.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE PART 1 REUNION?