This week on the Real Housewives of Potomac, we will be going to Robyn’s bachelorette party. There will be some “Naked Truth” that will be shared about Mia and Wendy. Let us get the party started, shall we?
Robyn is visiting a bridal shop to look for her wedding dress. She recently got married, so congratulations to her and Juan. Robyn cracked me up when she said it is a lot of work to plan a two-person wedding. Aren’t all weddings two-person ones — except maybe Mia and Gordon, since who knows how many persons are involved there? Ashley and Gizelle show up to help her pick a gown and to try on some tiaras. Production gives some delicious shade to Gizelle by calling her “Miss Messy-Verse” in her screen title.
Ashley tells Gizelle about what happened later in the evening in Mexico when Gizelle went to bed. She mentions that Mia was admiring Wendy’s physique. Mia was all into Wendy, and nothing thrills Wendy more than someone who admires her. Ashley believes maybe these two have some sexual frustration. Gizelle is salivating when she hears the gossip about the bumping and licking of vaginas. She is going to bump and tell, but she needs to scoot over to see Mia so she can get more salacious details. Side note: What the heck did production put in their tequila for these two to become so enamored with each other???
Robyn comes out wearing her gowns, and no doubt she will make a beautiful bride. She wishes she did not invite Gizelle and Ashley since they are confusing her instead of helping her to decide. Gizelle then asks Robyn about her mom and why she is not in attendance. Robyn admits she has not told her about the wedding yet — are Robyn’s parents not fans of a Dixon 2.0 wedding?
Gizelle wants to plan an upscale dinner with some strippers for her party. The theme will be “Robyn-gone-wild,” and Karen and Wendy are not invited. Gizelle wants everyone to be scantily dressed for the event. Robyn is not afraid of a*s and titties shaking in her face. They will be going to a steak and lobster strip club. This sounds exactly just like how Mia described her upscale dinner club where she flashed her goodies to Gordon.
Candiace and Chris are having their breakfast outside (with some deer grazing in their backyard), and they are chatting about her music video party. She is going to reveal her new album cover. Chris asks about Mexico, and Candiace says, “The old ladies were fighting.” He is not surprised to hear that Juan is the new target since they needed another victim to throw under the bus. Chris has put himself on bus probation since he is done with this drama. He wants Candiace to focus on their IVF journey and to be stress-free.
Wendy and Karen meet up for lunch to discuss the discord in Mexico. Karen denies that it was her in the picture. Ashley then calls them and tells them they are not in the group text for the bachelorette party. Wendy is peeved that they are not invited since she thought she and Robyn had moved on.
Gizelle cannot run over to Mia’s house faster to find out what Mia found to eat in Wendy’s lunchbox. Mia states that Wendy was spread-eagle showing off her vagina. She even played show and tell and showed Wendy her vagina too. Mia surmises that Wendy has had a craving to snack on her cookie and even touched it! Mia says that Jacqueline is trying to make nice with her. She is clearly not interested in making up with her BFF anytime soon.
Wendy is filming a segment on MSNBC about Roe vs. Wade. She does have a legit career outside of this show. Wendy must love the attention given to her by the show, but is it worth it when it causes her to lose credibility in her other line of work? Sorry, I digress…
The ladies now load up on the party bus with the stripper pole, sans Wendy and Karen. Mia and Ashley apparently both have a “hoe mentality” with their matching snakeskin bodysuits. She proudly calls herself an anaconda, but Ashley is only a measly little garden snake. Charrisse, aka Cha-Cha downer, is annoyed that she had to take the back seat to Mia in planning Robyn’s bachelorette party. She resents that Mia, who has known her for five minutes, has this honor. Can you imagine the lackluster event Charrisse would have planned? Side note: Candiace read my mind when she was warily eyeing that pole and hoped that it gets wiped down frequently.
Karen and Ray are meeting with the candle manufacturer. She has created a four-wick candle, and it is limited for the holidays. Karen acts like she is nonplussed about the uninvite since she is creating a “four-wick Bohemian fire” with her new candle line. She even wants photo proof when she shells out $10k to order 8,000 candles.
Back at the strip club, Candiace is scouting the room to find a stripper unicorn with a donkey booty. Robyn also seems to be getting into the fun and enjoying the attention from the strippers. Ashley gets questioned about what is happening with Michael. She acts like everything is peachy keen with Michael, aka Gollum, which has even made her stop dating. Candiace then spills to Ashley that Michael has been climbing out of his hidey hole and brought an “unattractive woman” to the restaurant Chris works at.
Charrisse then gets asked about Karen and how she feels about what went down with them. She says she does not think about her and deems Karen a liar. Charrisse claims to never have aired Karen’s sh*t, and she is now willing to let that sh*tshow commence. She resents that Karen has assassinated her character. Charrisse asserts that Karen has been known to disappear when they would go out and end up drunk and f*cking a random worker in the bathroom.
Gizelle is on the edge of her seat listening to Karen getting slammed. She has been a target of Karen’s, and production reminds us of that with footage. It is amusing when some of the ladies refuse to comment about this side of Karen since they are not willing to cross that line.
Charrisse then spills that Karen had to have a driver because she lost her license, and her DD was none other than Mr. Blue Eyes. Ray even allegedly had this cheating allegation investigated, and the private investigator found no merit. In her ITM, Mia mentions that Gordon said it is common for older men to allow their younger wives to date so they are kept satisfied. She believes that Ray does not have the agility to be able to climb on top of Karen anymore. Ashley, Mia, and Robyn then decide to climb up on the stage and get all freaky with the strippers.
Next week is the season finale, and Robyn tells her rather unhappy-looking parents that she is getting married in Jamaica. Mia tells Karen how Charrisse has outed her as the Grande Whore of Potomac. This episode finally gave me some clarity on the hate Karen has for Charrisse! Have a wonderful week, Blurbers, and see you next week for the finale!
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