We have arrived at our final episode of the Real Housewives of Miami reunion. Let’s see if Andy can keep this saucy group of ladies on track so we can get these Bahama Mamas to gel again, shall we?
We pick up with Kiki letting Lisa know that she is aware of the models who used to sleep with Lenny. Kiki tells us of a guy who claimed to “slip and fall into some chick’s vagina!” She has the best little quips and I just adore her humor. Lisa describes how Lenny used to make her feel crazy and insecure when she would question all of the half-naked hotties that came to their parties.
Alexia said they used to go to their parties but Todd did not even look because she had horse blinders on him. Adriana said Lenny would not let her into the party when she had tried to attend. Lisa feels like having so much filler in her face last season is the reason why he fell out of love with her. She really needs to look deeper within herself because I am sure that is not the issue since he is in the cosmetic surgery field. Lisa is so appreciative that she had so much support from this group. She gives the vapid Larsa the MVP award for helping to get the restraining order thrown out. Larsa supposedly gave a statement to prove Lisa’s side of the incident, which was a huge help.
Lisa would like to be married again and wants a life partner. She is dating a nice man named Jody who is an entrepreneur and is backstage to provide moral support. Andy asks Alexia about her Cuban accent, which is infused with Miami Spanglish, and she shares that they have their own lingo in Miami. Alexia said her mom always wanted her to marry a gringo and genuinely loved Todd.
Alexia calls Anthony “Antonia” because he behaves like a chick. It is no surprise that she cannot see how what she said about Nicole was something any spouse would jump to defend their loved one. Alexia said that she and Todd ran into Anthony and Nicole. Alexia claims that Anthony said he and Nicole are the only ones with real jobs. Nicole calls Alexia out for not telling the whole truth and leaving out the part where she was telling them they were in big trouble for their comments throughout the season. Side note: I cannot imagine Anthony would just spout that out without provocation from Alexia.
Larsa then gets called out for being culturally inappropriate for wearing her long braids. She says she actually has a braider come to her house to do her children’s hair as well. Who knew there was such a service? Andy asks Kiki why she was so emotional with the shaman. Kiki shares she has struggled with her modeling career being topsy turvy while being a single mom to two kids. She truly wears her heart on her sleeve and gave it her all this season IMHO. Andy gives Kiki a burger to go, which she is happy to enjoy cold!
Andy asks Marysol if she felt her mom’s presence lately. Marysol says she felt her mom’s presence when she was in Thailand. Andy recalls when Mama Elsa told him back in the day that he was not capable of love. That Mama Elsa was onto something!
Bravo to Guerdy for being acknowledged for being the best wedding planner in Bride’s magazine. She used to do 15 weddings a year and now only five. Guerdy is working on being more attentive since Russell called her out for not being present or MIA. They are doing really well now, and she has learned to prioritize her family since she never wants to lose her handsome hubby.
The bumpy relationship between Marysol, Alexia, and Adriana is profiled now. Marysol cries when she sees the clip of Adriana telling her that her ex-boyfriend did not love her. Andy tries to get Adriana to see that the comment did not land well. Alexia calls Adriana a fraud over her marriage to Frederick and her past. Larsa tries to interrupt, and I love when Adriana shut her down to stay out of it. She keeps trying to stick her bloated yapper into every conversation.
Adriana gets called out about being already being married to Frederick when she married him on the show for a storyline. She denies that she was already married and production shows a clip with Lea Black where she mentions it all! Adriana wearing her floppy hat being pushed around in that squeaky wheelchair is shown again, and I will never tire of that clip! She gets rightfully slammed for comparing her accident to Frankie. Adriana was trying to relate to Alexia but failed miserably. Nicole thinks that Adriana spaced out akin to having a panic attack. Alexia did not think “My Bad” was an appropriate apology. She is not a repentant one herself either. Julia recognized that Adriana’s comments were outrageous but attributes it to her being alone and lonely. She clearly is a good friend to Adriana but has the ability to recognize when her friend f*cks up.
Marysol said that Adriana turned dark, and she then calls Marysol unwell. Adriana gives Andy a letter from someone who claims to have been abused by Marysol. The writer needs her to address her excessive drinking and demands she gets an intervention. We then see the letter is signed by Marysol’s liver! Adriana also passes over to her a list of AA locations. She has really gone over the deep end with this ridiculous nonsense even though I agree Marysol drinks too much.
Andy asks Alexia about her relationship with her sons and her overprotectiveness. Alexia shares that the de Moya foundation has been a godsend. She has never been to a therapist for what she has been through. Alexia used to get advice from her mom, who was a therapist when she was alive. Andy asks about Peter’s girlfriend and his relationship with Pedro. Alexia recognizes that Peter wanting to leave the country to escape her was hurtful but is happy that Peter cut ties with his girlfriend.
Andy wants some closing thoughts from each lady on their season. Alexia is thankful for the de Moya foundation for Frankie’s vocational rehabilitation. She is thrilled that they were able to let her know about Frankie’s potential, and she needs to let him live and learn. Marysol expresses how she loves her job despite working with these pain in the a*sses. She has so much fun with them and loves them all. Guerdy felt like the show really helped her to see her “blind side,” which made her recreate her entire business model. She is having date nights with her husband and one-on-one meals with her boys.
Adriana shares that she has been able to record tracks with Emilio Esteban. She has some new material coming out. Julia shares that Martina’s cancer fight has shaken her entire soul. She has put her life in perspective and no longer sweats the small stuff. Side note: Martina’s health of late has taken an upswing (could not resist the pun), which is wonderful news!
Nicole thinks the most positive thing for her was reconnecting with her dad. She is able to see him through a different lens and understands where he was coming from. Lisa is happy and has a boyfriend. She now realized that her marriage to Lenny was not meant to be forever. Lisa recognizes that this has been a learning experience for her to see Lenny for who he truly is
a cheating egghead. Lisa says, “I’m happy that it happened to me at this age rather than 10 years from now and everything happens for a reason.” She believes this was her destiny and I agree everything happens for a reason.
Andy decides to toast the season without pickle-flavored vodka shots but with some delicious Bahama Mamas. I wish I could have one right now since they taste amazing. The ladies hug — even Alexia and Adriana — while they dance to her song Fyre.
Well, there were no fireworks in this episode and no spouses, which was different, but Miami has always been a unique franchise. Thank you, Blurbers, for hanging with me in Miami, which will always be my Magic city since birth! Have a terrific Thursday!
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