We are back at the shore with the Real Housewives of New Jersey for more family dysfunction. Let us try and get to the bottom of “Pizza Gate,” shall we?
Jackie at Casa Gorga thinks that Bill and Jennifer cannot be together unless they are wasted. She also is not buying that Danielle and her brother are not speaking/conversating over being blocked on Instagram. Melissa is annoyed that Tre does not think her mom deserves to be at the wedding. Dolores does not understand why anyone would mess with Moms who should be off-limits. In his ITM, Joe talks about how happy he was for his sister in the beginning. He thinks that Louie plays being the nice guy and evolves into being a d*ck. Side note: I would not care if my mom was not invited to that clown show of a wedding. Why subject your poor mom to seeing things she cannot unsee?
Rachel and John are concerned that there might be issues at the Fuda brunch. She must have watched previous seasons. Jen F. feels like she got hit by a mack truck being with this crew. Rachel believes that Danielle is the link in the chain between the two sides. She is probably rethinking her alliance with the other newbie.
Back at the Aydin household with Teresa, Louie, Danielle, and Nate, Jen is frying up some Turkish sausage, which resembles a fried Louie patty. Danielle mentions that the other ladies are talking about the authenticity of the story with her brother. Teresa thinks that Rachel has created this mess and deems her to be a sh*t starter. Danielle is now convinced that Marge truly does have an arsenal of ammunition to come at them. She is the only one “conversating,” and no one else is owning up to spreading gossip.
Tre shares that she kept her pugnacious mouth shut about what caused the issues. Joe wanted to start a pizza oven business with her, and Louie contributed $250k. Joe wants 50% equity interest since the pizza oven was his idea. Louie allegedly lost the money he had invested, and it is baffling to me if all you did was create pizza boxes, and the money is gone? Side note: I think Louie liked the idea for himself but wanted to remove Joe from the venture.
Joe thinks that since it was Teresa and his idea that she jumped ship to appease Louie and his greedy ambition. Teresa shot photos with her girls for Skinny Pizza boxes. She needs to check with Bethenny since she has the market on anything called Skinny. Melissa concludes that Teresa does not want to share the opportunity. Margaret has decided that Teresa puts barriers in place that cannot be overcome. Melissa, in her ITM, believes that little Joey is on an island all by himself.
Rachel is having a mermaid-themed brunch — with bone marrow shots. LOL, I agree that the mermaid is drunk! She had to self-medicate to be around this greasy group of hooligans. Dolores and Jackie talk about Jennifer being fragile and how upset she is over Bill’s criticism of her parenting. John asks Joe about Louie’s Instagram video on forgiveness, which he filmed with the crew at Casa Aydin. Joe wants to film their own version of this video — about waxing John Fuda.
Danielle and her nonexistent brain are going to explode. She pulls Marge aside so they can discuss the arsenal comment. Danielle conveys that Rachel is trying to create a divide. Margaret thinks it is bullsh*t that Tre and Jen would engage with her ex-friend Laura and find her to be a credible source. I love that Marge said conversate is not a word to Danielle, aka Tre 2.0. Danielle apologizes if repeating that comment upset Marge. She does not feel that she and Rachel are both on the same team anymore.
Dolores shares with Melissa that she is not going to stop living her life since Frank is having a pity party. She also lets Missy G. know what Tre said about not inviting her family to the wedding. Teresa and Louie are chatting with Jen F. about the family drama. They are defending their actions and acting like everyone is out to get them.
Jackie pushes Danielle to share the rest of the brother story. Danielle will not accept that she has any responsibility for her family issues. She clearly is not as tough as she claims and leaves the party with her tail between her legs. Margaret in her ITM would like to reach out to her brother and sister-in-law to add to her arsenal.
Teresa claims she is the easiest person to deal with. She is exactly right, but ONLY when it comes to how Louie handles her. Tre is malleable like a lump of Play-Doh and can be convinced of anything. She tells Jackie to shut the f*ck up over defending Melissa having daddy issues. Tre thinks that Melissa has a leash on Joe. She may be right, but Louie has her saddled up with a horse bit in her mouth.
Louie pulls Melissa aside to chat. He wants to hold Melissa’s hand and I would have been skeeved out if I was her. Melissa assures him that Tre is totally obsessed with him, and you can see he is enjoying the power over her. Teresa joins the conversation, and Louie waves her away like she is a waitress hovering at the table. Louie then tells Tre that she is ruining his moment with Melissa.
Joe is invited to join the conversation. Louie invites Melissa’s mom to the wedding. Oh dear Lord, we are going to have to hear the Nonno pajama story again, which Teresa had to publicly clear up. Side note: The look of shock on Joe’s face when Louie told him he is wearing his dad’s pajamas was pricele$$. I think Nonno would even be uncomfortable just like we are knowing that this creepy lech is wearing his jammies so he can be loving with his granddaughters.
Teresa thinks that Melissa’s attachment to Joe relates to her daddy issues. She thinks that she wants to keep Joe at her side and alienate Teresa. Jackie gets fired up defending Melissa, and Teresa lunges across the table and tells her to get out of her face after SHE approached Jackie.
Teresa is pretending that if Joe had called her and begged asked her to invite Donna to the wedding, she would have agreed. Joe cannot get over the bridesmaid diss of Melissa, and he asked Louie and Gia to intercede. Tre expected blind loyalty from Melissa and expected her to have Tre and Louie’s back last season and should have told Marge to shut the f*ck up. Melissa cannot give blind loyalty to her when Tre is cosigning when Jennifer called Joey a b*tch boy.
Teresa then tells Joe that he must be unhappy in his marriage. She believes because Louie told her to that Melissa is the problem and she should be bridging the gap between the two simians siblings. Damn, do they think that Melissa is a zookeeper? What this family needs is a snake charmer who has the power to disarm a venomous snake like Louie. Joe and Melissa decide to leave after this conversation is going nowhere. Louie shuts Tre down and tells her that she and her brother do not listen just blather on speak. He just cannot keep listening to this drivel any longer — nor can we.
Louie just wants to marry the Jersey Troll doll in 28 to 31 days — give or take. Teresa is done talking about Joe coming to her wedding. She wants him to be there if he wants a part of their future as a family. Louie has finally accomplished what he came to do — decimate any hope of reconciliation between these two. Side note: This episode by far shows the conniving side of Louie and the mind or what is left of it control he has over Teresa. Production is clearly gunning for him, and Teresa was wrong to believe this would be her redemption season…
Next week, the dissolution of the family unit and Louie’s mind control continues… After watching this episode, I am as drunk as the mermaid! Have a wonderful Wednesday, and join me for my podcast on Friday evening! Please also email the site [email protected] with your contact info if you are interested in co-hosting with me!
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