The Real Housewives of Atlanta have their explosive premiere, teasing a clip from their Harlem nights-themed birthday party for Ross. Sheree is making it official with Martell — and Drew and Ralph will be making their split official this season. Let us catch up with our peaches and see what kind of tea they are serving us this season, shall we?
Sheree, aka Glamma, is introducing us to her new man Martell, who comes from the reality show Love and Marriage-Huntsville. She is enjoying her new man, who exudes big d*ck energy and is armed with a killer body. Martell lives in Huntsville, and she wants him to move closer since he makes her happy along with all the single ladies.
Martell sees the chef at the door, which is the surprise that Sheree planned for him, but his player-self thought they were having a play date. He comes out of the gate gunning for Kandi for calling him opportunistic and slams Todd and Kandi for being vertically challenged. Side note: Congrats to Kairo for making Sheree a Glamma — at least she has something good coming her way!
Sheree shares in her ITM that she did consider having a threesome with her ex-husband, but he ended up planning his own play date with others #awkward. Sheree is under the impression that Kenya will be happy to see Martell, but based on the opening clip, that does not seem accurate. She lives in her own little world and apparently likes to pick bad boys to date.
Kandi is chatting with Don Juan about Sheree’s lack of business acumen. She is bringing back Kandi Koated Nights. Kenya and Monyetta join Kandi to discuss what is going on in Hotlanta. She shares that Monyetta introduced her to her new hot guy Roi and she is smitten. Roi is successful and very handsome, so kudos to Kenya! Side note: I am happy Monyetta is more involved in this season as a friend.
Kandi, who is rocking an afro in her ITM, says the streets are talking about Martell chasing some tail in Atlanta. Kenya mentions that Martell has been sliding that big d*ck energy into her DMs. They think Martell is a thirst trap. Kandi mentions that Todd wants her to help him produce a movie. She gets emotional when she describes her frustration over not being able to do her own thing and help him. Kandi and Todd are struggling to make time with their kids and their relationship. I hope Ms. Worldwide and Todd are not going to be headed to divorce over their differences. Side note: How freaking adorable is little Ace in this KFC commercial?
Sanya and Ross have a huge family tree — with everyone living with her. She talks about planning a 40th birthday party for her hot hubby Ross. Sanya has hired her brother-in-law to be her assistant, and you can tell this is an awkward arrangement. She has been supporting her entire family from her career and expects her family to help her take up the slack.
Marlo is enjoying Taco Tuesday with her nephews Michael and William. She mentions that her sister is no longer in jail and has not seen the boys. Marlo has a life coach named Miss Sharon over to help her and the boys work as a family. William is such a sweetheart when they discuss the boys being kicked out and he accepts responsibility for his part.
Sheree has her uber-thirsty friend Courtney and Sanya over. Sheree’s workout outfit costs $274 — no wonder she is not selling anything. They decide to work out together, and I would be intimidated by Sanya with her super-cut abs. Sanya mentions her fight with her sister and how they are butting heads. Courtney has a marketing consulting company, and the exaggerated greeting she gave Sheree when she entered the house suggests to me that she is trying too hard.
Sanya mentions inviting Drew and Ralph to Ross’ party, but Ralph was the only one to reply. She has not really spoken with Drew, which is not surprising since I never thought they had a real friendship. Sheree is concerned about Kandi talking about her and making memes. She concludes the only time she is leaving her alone is when she is eating or sucking d*ck — but not in a locker room. She refuses to label her relationship with Martell when the producer prods her in her ITM.
We have arrived at Ross’ birthday party, which appears to be an all-cast event. Sanya has a $40k budget for the party, but she has now spent $100k!!! Marlo is miffed that Kandi has been spoofing her in her videos. Kenya has low expectations for this party because she did not appreciate the Party City décor from the previous season. Ralph comes to the party sans Drew. He mentions a crisis in their family, but he is so checked out that he forgets that it is his family crisis to deal with as well!
Sanya and Ross make their grand entrance, and Ross looks so handsome and dapper. Marlo, who is wearing GINORMOUS earrings in her ITM, arrives, and she looks so theatrical in her outfit. Sheree looks gorgeous as always and has Martell on her arm. Kandi gives Sheree a good label for her two guys: Tyrone is Mr. Community Service and Martell is Mr. Community Property. BOOM, Miss Kandi does not seem to be sitting on her laurels this season with this sassy first episode.
Courtney approaches Kandi, and they get into a nonsensical argument since they have a mutual friend, and all Kandi said was that she did not know Courtney. Kandi insists she was not shading her by saying she did not know her. Courtney tells Kandi that they run in the same social circles and tells Kandi she is not clout chasing. Kandi insists that she said no such thing, but the energy Courtney is giving off is making Kandi want to give her a big glass of peach tea since she is super thirsty. She then loses it when Courtney will not let up and is fuming when she says, “I’m about to headbutt this b*tch.” Why is this newbie Courtney trying to come for Kandi?
Kenya and Monyetta are trying to clue Sheree in that her new dirty dog man has been marking his territory all over town. Sheree does not skip a beat when she says there is no way anyone would choose a Toyota over her Ferrari self. She seems to know her worth, but the problem is she picks guys who undervalue her on Auto Trader. Kenya then tells Sheree that Martell has slid into her DMs. Sheree insists Martell come and address this accusation, and we get Kenya shouting at him, “Once a cheater always a cheater — you piece of sh*t!” We then get our to-be-continued…
Next week, it looks like the conversations will get more heated. What do you all think about having Monyetta as a friend this season, and what are your thoughts on Courtney coming for Kandi in the first episode? See you all tomorrow in the Garden State!
TELL US — THOUGHTS ON THIS RHOA EPISODE?