This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is titled “A Rat in the Street.” The real rat was scurrying around the Jersey Shore on Bay Street and was picked up by Teresa. Let us now watch Lou-dent pull the last piece of straw from the Gorga’s very dysfunctional nest, shall we?
Margaret is having Jen F.’s mom and aunt come over. Marge Sr. is joining the group, so I am intrigued by the twins and how they will interact. Cazzie and Mazzie, who is Jen’s mom, used to be friends with Barbara Streisand. Margret sees these two sassy ladies as whirling dervishes. She sees the twin sisters’ connection and likens it to her hubby Joe B., who is a stage 4 clinger. The Ireland trip is brought up, and Marge and Jen concur that Danielle is an immature as*hole who likes to be the center of attention. Jen. F. talks about Teresa’s hypocrisy about wanting peace within her own family.
Dolores and Paul are meeting the Catania family to celebrate Frankie and his new job. She is confident her Irishman can bust balls better than anyone else. Frank wants Paul to see nothing untoward about their unusual family dynamic. Paul wants to have a prohibition party, and he invites everyone to come. Brittany needs to be told that the Irish speak actual English. I can see why Frank is attracted to her.
Frank wants to know what kind of ring Paul would purchase for Dolores. Frank gets all b*tchy when he hears that Paul has already bought one. Paul shares more about himself, and you can see Frank Catania slowly unclench his butt cheeks and his face lighten from burgundy to more of a crimson color. Frank finally recognizes that Paul is no threat to him. We can finally see the end of this silly storyline by them effectively blending their families.
Teresa and Louie are talking about the seating arrangements for the wedding. Louie calls his mom to find out if she wants a mother-and-son dance. Teresa believes her family gives her nothing compared to Louie’s family. Melissa has told them they will not attend the rehearsal dinner, and I would have to assume that is because they are not in the freaking wedding party. Joe Giudice supposedly has been advising Louie to keep an eye on Joe Gorga since he tends to get insecure when another man challenges him. Louie thinks Joe is trash and clearly has no use for him. Tre is embarrassed for her brother, but she does not even recognize that her Louie has been mind-f*cking her all season, which gives us all secondhand embarrassment for her. Louie will not allow anyone to have any leverage over Teresa anymore. Mission accomplished!
Danielle is going through her inventory with her mom. She wants to expand her line of bougie kids. Danielle and her mom started crying over her brother. She is (TIT) proclaiming that her brother does not have HER back when he is obviously on his wife’s side, which Danielle and Teresa cannot cope with. Danielle’s mom has been iced out by her brother as well. She cannot believe her brother does not want her to have a relationship with her niece. Danielle thinks her brother is lost somewhere, but more likely, he refuses to put Danielle’s bougie wardrobe on his daughter. I want this storyline from a book to be shelved and never heard from again.
Jennifer shares that her brother Michael and his wife have moved to the U.S. They love the new apartment that Jen picked out. Melda thanks Jen profusely for her generosity. Jennifer tells Michael that Bill comes home each night and heads to the pool house. Michael reminds Jen that it is traditional that the men work, and the wives do everything else. He is clearly trying to let his sister know that the traditions run deep, and she cannot change what she signed up for.
Rachel and John talk with Jaiden about the adoption process. The process started with reaching out to his biological mom. Jaiden seems happy that the adoption process has started. He wants to know if he needs to do anything. Rachel does not want to stress Jaiden out and wants him to tell her if it troubles him. Jaiden wants Rachel to adopt him, and I wish they had done this before meeting with the adoption lawyer. He is a nice kid, and Rachel and John should be proud.
Tonight is the night for the prohibition party, and we see the gang getting ready and talking about everyone else. Dolores and Paul talk about the challenges that Tre and Joe are going through. I am distracted by Marge, who looks rough without makeup. Marge is clearly miffed about Laura airing her dirty laundry. She says that Jennifer said she did not speak to Laura anymore, but Jen’s clip shows otherwise. Laura has been sharing their text messages publicly; this is another annoying storyline with no Laura to corroborate it.
Teresa and Louie are getting ready for the party. She gushes over Louie’s style and insinuates that Joe Giudice could not dress himself. Teresa shares that she even tried to call her brother Joe over the last few days, and he didn’t call her back. She suggests that he used to always call her back — until Melissa came into the picture. Then someone in production pulls Louie’s pin on the red grenade that was perched on his greasy head, and he goes on a tirade about Joe.
Louie first claims to feel bad for the family, but he then tells Tre never to apologize because Joe’s actions are not her fault. Joe Gorga hit a nerve with Louie when it was suggested that Teresa seemed miserable with him. He then asserts that Joe is projecting and is devilishly calculated. Side note: The only one who looks devilish is Louie, with his hell-fire face and two spiked ears.
Louie says, “I would like to talk to your brother as much as I want to talk to a rat in the street.” Teresa blatantly lies when she says, “I’ve never heard Louie talk like this before.” Louie then says he finds Joe boring and would not share a cup of water with him. He then suggests that he almost coronated Joe as the patriarch of the family so he would feel less threatened. Louie then admits he will fight this battle, and Teresa will not even recognize him.
Louie who is clearly visually impaired then tells Teresa that she is a beautiful woman who can be
blissfully stupid naïve. He also believes that Teresa has been the forgiving one and letting everything go to keep the peace. Louie calls Joe the manipulator and someone who has been gaslighting Tre for years. He then delivers the coup de grâce: “I don’t even want your brother coming to our wedding because I don’t want that pig energy around a beautiful environment.”
Louie then assures Teresa that he is pulling her out of the snake pit and will keep her money safe. Teresa, throughout this scene, looks uncomfortable while Louie rants. We know it will get far worse between the Gorga siblings, and can Louie possibly get any redder?
Happy Hump Day, Blurbers, and please come check out our RB podcast on Saturday night. If you are interested in co-hosting, please email me at [email protected].
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