We have arrived for the reunion episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. We have a prize fight between Tre-Kong and Messy-G for the HBIC in New Jersey! The gloves are off, and let us get ready to rumble!
The set is Ireland-themed with their faces inserted into portraits from the castle they stayed at. Andy thinks this group has brought it fashion-wise. I must say, I do like their choices. Melissa, with her hair in a bun, steps into the ring in a sparkly hooded blue jumpsuit, which she removes like she is entering a boxing ring. Teresa comes out from another corner and waddles to her side of the ring with her barely-there golden sheath. She is going with a shorter hairstyle so there will be no hair-pulling. This look is much more flattering than the hair tower.
Teresa gets a call from Joe Giudice, and he wants to know if Bill does work on under-eye bags — not for him, of course since he already got rid of his hairy bag. Joe mentions that life is good in the Bahamas, and he has a lot of dating options. Dolores looks lovely in her gown, and it is clear why she won our poll. She mentions that Paul will be joining them later. Danielle has a much better look that did not come from the hamper — this time. Jennifer is wearing blue, so she is protected from the evil eye.
Margaret has brought all the receipts from her arsenal. Teresa has Andy put his hand on her hairy chest to show how fast her heart is beating. Rachel looks lovely in her gold gown, and her skin looks flawless. Andy wants to know what Melissa and Teresa want to get out of this reunion. They both want to close this chapter –in peace. Please don’t only close this chapter — slam it closed for good!
Teresa and Melissa start off hot by talking about the wedding fiasco. She appears to be flummoxed by Melissa showing her true feelings, and I can see why she would be called unhinged by some inside sources. Teresa thinks that this group should behave like RHOBH. She has been led to believe all these years that she is the HBIC of RHONJ, and I can barely stomach her arrogance.
Teresa said that Dina did not want to be at the wedding. She claims that she did not want to be on camera or come to NJ to hang with Cock Lobster and Tre-stump. Andy questions if that is the real reason she was not there. He asks Melissa what Joe shared about the divide between Teresa and Dina. Melissa now says that Dave does not want to be part of the show, so she will not elaborate. Teresa denies that she ever went out to dinner with the Gorgas after she got out of the can, but we have photo evidence. She also glosses over that she was leering at the hot neighbor.
Melissa says that Louie was begging to be on TV, and he knew all along Tre was a housewife. Teresa calls Marge a liar when she says Louie asked Alexia Echevarria from RHOM out first. She is CLEARLY annoyed with the suggestion that she was a second-choice Housewife. Teresa, seeing Melissa’s glee, tells her that she will be out of her life after this reunion.
Andy then wants to discuss Teresa’s hairstyle rodents’ nest at the wedding. Teresa still thinks that her hair was a fashion masterpiece. She says she went to look for Marge at the wedding after she left when she heard how emotional she was at the ceremony. Dolores’s love affair with Paulie is now profiled. She loves that he wants to share every part of her life. Dolores recognized that things needed to change with Frank since she was building a new life with Paulie. Frank still weirdly lives with David, and Brittany sleeps over there too. Dolores then shares that Paulie is still married, but he is going to get divorced. She does appear uncomfortable with this questioning.
Danielle is now on deck with her bougie lifestyle and lack of a relationship with her brother. She wants us to believe it is about a stupid Instagram post. Danielle is going to see her brother the day after the reunion for a funeral. She said her brother sent her bougie baby gift back — most likely because it was tacky, just like his sister. Danielle said her brother used to watch the show, so she knows he watched her this season. Andy said the comments Marge said in Ireland to Danielle were below the belt. Marge said that Danielle flipped on her after she helped her with her business. I am on Team Marge for this issue because her point was spot on.
Melissa talks about trying to get to know Danielle this past season. Teresa claims that Melissa wants to have a friendship with Danielle for a storyline. Melissa asks, “Is that what you are trying to do with Rachel?” The feeling is not mutual with Rachel, who is not interested in befriending Tre. Marge tells Tre she is repeating comments from her Tree stumps 🤣.
Marge and Jennifer battle it out about the stupid endorsements. Andy calls Danielle out about her fake gangster act. He wants to know what Marge thought about how innocuous the arsenal comment was. Danielle is so freaking annoying with her extra behavior. Rachel and Danielle both argue over whose big mouth caused all the turmoil. Danielle talks about her huge balls that she dragged through the door. She might need to get that taken care of… Andy says what we are all thinking — it is the dumbest fight.
Rachel pays Danielle compliments about being a good mom and wife. Danielle was looking forward to having a friendship with Rachel. No surprise that Danielle likes to fight over stupid shit, and Rachel is wise to keep her at a distance.
Melissa is up next, and her home is still in the process. We then discover that Lou and Tre moved a few doors into a used house near Joe’s original house. Teresa gets called out by a viewer for publicly shaming Antonia. She believes that Rachel asked a set-up question to make her look bad. Teresa continues to deny that she does not talk badly about the Gorgas around her girls, but the production has countless clips to prove otherwise. Andy brings up the On Display podcast, where they said they helped to keep food on the table while Teresa was in the pokey.
Teresa continues to deny that her girls have hate for the Gorgas. Melissa says that you will never see her kids bashing their aunt. Teresa claims that they are only for the show. She also blatantly lies about Joe never coming to see her. Melissa reminds her that she did not put her OWN BROTHER on the visitation list until he was needed to film for the show. She also tells her that Joe helped Gia when she needed to go to college since her father was not allowed to drive.
Jennifer then mentions the comments made by Marge that she can do better than Little Joey. She said Marge told her she could score a ball player. Andy does not see that comment as anything but flattering. Melissa says that Marge talks like she is on the show Dynasty, and they know she is just blowing smoke.
Andy then brings up Laura, who has caused so much turmoil this season. He agrees with Margaret that she did push for Laura to be added to the cast. Margaret thinks these ladies believe she is an executive at Bravo and can make this decision. Jennifer is clearly a sh*t stirrer when she admits she invited Laura to the premiere party.
Andy then must get into the old story about how the Gorgas came on the show. He claims that they were cast because Melissa was cute, and Joe was funny — it was a bonus they had a double staircase. WOW, the standards for casting are low in RHONJ! Teresa tells Melissa she cannot wait to never see her face again. She shares that Jacqueline filled her in on the Gorgas hanging out with the person who called the FBI. Andy cannot believe that Teresa is now taking Jacqueline’s word as gospel after cutting her out of her life. Melissa reminds her that she used to blame Caroline for this, but now she is to blame.
Blurbers, who did you think won the first round of this match? Please let me know in the comment section, and please come back for round two, which looks messier when we find out more about the PI that Louie allegedly hired to dig up dirt. I hope everyone is having a great week so far, and please listen to my podcast, which is posted every Saturday night!
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