Watching the new Real Housewives of New York City ladies feels like you are cheating on your boyfriend, but… okay, okay, I like them.
Brynn is the party girl, the flirt. Jenna is a “very unique” person. Jessel is a publicist. Sai is an influencer and a blogger. Ubah, the cousin of Chanel Ayan (RHODubai), is “vivacious and larger than life.” And Erin, well, she likes to “run the f*cking show.” I thought it would be harder to let go of the past, but watching this representation of New York is giving new energy.
We are off to the races with this group, and things are already different, as Sai lives in BROOKLYN. (Could you imagine?! The last time we were on that side of the city was when Alex McCord graced our screens!) Sai explains that the family she created is so different than what she had growing up, as she is a through-and-through Brooklyn girl who once longed to live in a beautiful brownstone. Now she has that lifestyle plus much more.
Brynn comes over to Sai’s house, and as one of her besties, comes bearing gifts for Sai’s two children. Brynn longingly pines for the life Sai leads, but she remains her flirty self until then.
Jessel is trekking to Brooklyn to meet the ladies, and we meet her twin boys, who do NOT stay still for one second, and Jessel’s mother, who is visiting from London. Once she arrives at Sai’s place, it quickly turns into a kid party, so the ladies do what any mothers do in a situation like that: Leave the kids with competent adults and head to the backyard for some girl talk.
Jessel explains her connection to Sai and Brynn, and we learn that it’s mainly fashion that brought the group together. Sai is a content creator, and Jessel states she would follow anything Sai blogs about.
Over in Washington Square Park, Ubah and Erin meet for coffee. We learn that Erin and Brynn are beefing, and so we are introduced to part one of the drama. According to Erin, she planned a girls’ dinner and was upset because Sai and Brynn bailed to go to a more exclusive, hip restaurant. Erin claims it’s not about *where* this dinner was going to be, but rather the company. And, therefore, she is displeased.
As they chat in Sai’s backyard, Brynn explains that she wouldn’t be caught dead in the restaurant Erin planned for the girls’ dinner. Brynn states, “It’s not 2005 and I’m not a D-List model.” OF COURSE, I’m desperately trying to read lips to get the name of *the* restaurant. Was it Catch?! Sai states that Erin is always arguing with someone, and this leads us to part two of the drama.
Erin is irked that Sai allegedly pointed to a cheese plate in Erin’s home and said the phrase heard ‘round the world, “Cheese? That’s weird.” Sai SWEARS she never would say such a thing, considering she loves cheese. Brynn is happily retelling the tale to Jessel and blowing it out of proportion, thus gassing Sai up and making it a bigger deal than it definitely should be. Should be interesting getting all the girls together considering there’s all this recent drama…
Not sure how Jessel is able to keep her tan and white apartment so neat considering her twins — ah yes, her mother is there to help wipe up the fingerprints. We learn that Jessel moved from London when she was 22, and she came to New York because of #fashion.
Jenna Lyons makes her debut when she comes over for some tea with Jessel. This is a newish friendship based mainly around the fashion industry, and they discuss the upcoming girls’-night-in get-together at Jenna’s apartment.
We then are given a brief run-down of Jenna’s bada*s career. We learn how she worked her way up at J. Crew to become the executive creative director and president and then left the company in 2017. Jenna is looking forward to hosting the ladies and understands that it will be a “quiet adjacent” night in, considering the brewing drama. Jessel mentions “cheese-gate,” and Jenna is mentally preparing.
Erin’s apartment is in Tribeca, and she is proud to be raising three kids in NYC, but she also loves when they do not talk to her for a few hours. Erin is from an Israeli family and has them over for her mom’s birthday. She explains that she got married young to Abe, and they will soon be celebrating their 10-year wedding anniversary. Erin mentions that they plan on having a big party, but the adult talk gets interrupted by her youngest, deep in potty training, gracing our screens with undies down around his ankles.
Sai and her husband, David, have been together for 14 years. She appreciates her husband’s support, especially because she’s mixed up in some drama. As she preps for Jenna’s house, she wonders how things will go down, considering she did not even say anything about Erin’s dang cheese.
Jenna likes a theme, but no one understands what they are supposed to be wearing to this party. Jessel phones Erin to commiserate about ensembles, but also to share that Brynn is blowing up this cheese tale. Erin thinks Brynn is obnoxious because she makes sh*t up, and she feels like she is on a rollercoaster with Brynn. Erin denies ever saying anything about the cheese platter, and Jessel suggests that Erin hash it out with Brynn later at Jenna’s.
Jenna’s SoHo apartment perfectly captures her personality: quirky, colorful, and full of clothes. I mean, her shoe closet hosts nearly 380 pairs and her clothes go on for days. Jenna shares that she feels a little nervous about hosting people, but so long as there is cheese, all is good. The amount of cheese at Jenna’s house is laughable. It’s also a fabulous way of really sticking it to Sai and Erin. “I love cheese deeply. Like, cheese is my friend.” Jenna, I have never connected with a housewife more in my life.
Erin arrives empty-handed and states that Jenna is a “little bit of an oddball.” The rest of the ladies trickle in, and things are a bit awkward between Sai and Erin as they eye each other over the copious amounts of cheese in front of them.
Erin lets the group know that she is not happy with Brynn, who is the last to arrive at the party. Erin begins to air out her grievances and tells Sai that blowing off the dinner was really “uncool.” Sai owns that she bailed on Erin, and Erin appreciates that Sai knew she was in the wrong. However, Erin is still “turned off to” Brynn.
Brynn FINALLY arrives and lets Jenna know that she’s late because she fears Erin. Erin makes it clear that she is not going after Brynn immediately, but rather after a few icebreaker games that Jenna supplies to help cut the tension. The questions are silly and light, touching on porn, sexual preferences, and other vices such as shopping — and bananas. Yes, according to Ubah, she is addicted to bananas.
Erin lets loose on Brynn and calls her a liar because she is annoyed that Brynn thought she was too cool to go to the restaurant that will remain unnamed (or bleeped out!). Cheese-gate gets brought up again, and Erin questions why she would distance herself from Sai over cheese. If you, too, are wondering why these women are fighting over cheese, Ubah puts it eloquently when she says, “It is New York, there are a lot of rats here.” Sai admits that this is the stupidest thing, and Erin believes that Brynn is really the sh*t stirrer in this situation.
Erin asks to take the conversation with Brynn somewhere else so as not to involve the rest of the women in the ridiculousness. Although Brynn is shaking in her boots about what Erin’s about to give her, she is pleased to have Jenna’s closet be the backdrop to this.
The issue that Erin has with Brynn is the wishy-washy business. Erin thinks that Brynn got weird with her because Brynn “subscribed” to Sai and what she was saying about the cheese #thatsweird. Once the ladies realize how crazy this all sounds and agree to move on, Erin breaks Jenna’s chair in the shoe room as they try on her shoes and clothes. In a cringy moment, Erin and Brynn rejoin the group wearing Jenna’s clothes and shoes (without Jenna’s permission, I might add), and the episode ends on a light note when Sai asks, “Does anybody want cheese? Or is that weird?” All I can say is, bring on season 14!
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