We are dealing with some champagne confessions on my favorite franchise, The Real Housewives of Miami. What will be confessed while enjoying some champs? Grab a flute — and some tissues — and let’s watch!
We first get some cute scenes with some green grass-style elephants (my fav animal) at Larsa’s place, a cute dog giving Julia a bath (which always happens to me too), and adorable Greyson getting some ice cream. It is a light start for this episode since the ending deals with some heartbreaking news about Guerdy.
Nicole calls Guerdy while she is having ice cream with Greyson. She is planning a happy hour at the Grove to be able to feast on some oysters and sip some champagne. In current news, Nicole has announced that she is having another baby with Anthony, which is very happy news! Nicole’s dad in the season previews shows he wants more kids, so it will be interesting to see Nicole’s response to this.
Lisa is at Jody’s house, and Adriana is invited over to see her old home. The home used to reflect classic Miami, and now Jody has transformed it to make it have a modern vibe. Adriana prefers her former bohemian vibe with terrazzo floors and Mexican tile. He has asked Lisa to move in, but she is waiting for her divorce to be finalized and see if she scores the 52-million-dollar Star Island estate property. Julia comes over, and they chat about Guerdy being really upset. Lisa wants to get to the bottom of why Guerdy is troubled.
Larsa is working out at the gym, and Kiki and Alexia join her. She has her trainer working her out, and she seems to take this seriously so she can keep up with her hot young boyfriend, Marcus. Alexia talks about being stressed the night before when Todd was not there. Kiki thinks there is more to their story. She shares that Adriana said that Alexia believes she is above them due to her financial situation with Todd. Alexia recognizes this behavior from Adriana since they have always had a competitive relationship.
Larsa and Marcus stroll into a restaurant, and she lets us know she is concerned with her “love chub” phase, during which she has gained 10 pounds. Larsa mentions that they will be able to explain their relationship on their podcast since most people do not understand why Marcus is not dating someone closer to his own age. Marcus is a handsome man and would get the pick of the litter.
Larsa then starts prodding Marcus on his engagement timeline. She is fishing for his mindset on when there will be an engagement. Marcus said the timing is “situational,” and he is not volunteering anything at this time. In her ITM, Larsa acts like she is nonplussed at this response, but I think we can all see she is anxious to make their union official. Marcus, my handsome darling, she must have an expiration date on her ahem, inflatables, so you need to act quickly since those suckers can deflate!
Lisa is on her way to the courthouse for a support hearing with Lenny. She shares that Lenny wants her out of the house. Lisa gets a call from her lawyer before she must go inside, and he shares that Lenny will give her $8k in temporary support until their divorce is final. She cannot believe that Lenny is the one who left the marriage, and he is expecting her to live in a different way than she has grown accustomed to. Lisa is peeved that Lenny’s girlfriend is the one who is making out in this relationship with a guy who is 30 years older.
Marysol has planned a gay brunch for her friends. She walks in and finds the event is not put together yet. Lisa, Alexia, Larsa, and Kiki arrive, and the vibe looks fun. I have attended some gay brunches living in South Florida and found the food to be phenomenal and the conversations are lively and fun. Kiki mentions that she came across Lenny’s girlfriend’s ex-husband, and she says he was very nice. Lisa asks Alexia about her relationship with Todd, and she plays it off like all is good in the Nepola household and they will be moving out of her Barbie house in the sky soon. Larsa gets a call from Marcus, and she seems to get horny just chatting with him because she is obsessed with him. Kiki warns Lisa that she needs to be concerned about being in a rebound situation. Lisa assures her that she has never been more heard and loved in a relationship.
Nicole has a happy hour planned for some of the ladies so they can talk with Guerdy. She has Adriana, Julia, and Guerdy come to her event. Emilio Estefan comes by to say hello to Adriana, and it is impressive that he has produced music for her. He mentions that Gloria is in the restaurant too, and I was hoping to hear her coming out to sing “Conga.” Adriana shares that she ran into Todd when she left Alexia’s party. She said Todd said they needed to figure out their marriage, and this is going to piss off the Cuban doll.
Julia gets questioned by Nicole and Guerdy on how many engagements she has had. She must count on her fingers and comes to a whopping nine times — just like Martina’s wins at Wimbledon. Nicole questions Guerdy about why she was upset at Alexia’s party. She was offended by Larsa being so aggressive. Guerdy breaks down, and she tells the ladies she has breast cancer. Nicole looks really concerned for Guerdy. Guerdy shares that she has stage-one cancer, but she still might be facing chemo depending on the biopsy. She then lightens the mood to brag about how good her boobs look. Guerdy chose the right group to share this devastating news with, and she is fortunate to have Russell and her friends to lean on.
Alexia and Todd go to dinner, and she mentions that Peter now lives close to their apartment. She cannot wait to do grocery shopping for 30-year-old Peter, and I found myself cringing for her. Alexia has the same housekeeper so she can still helicopter parent/enable her son. Todd compliments Alexia on her party while he camped out in the gym. He did not want to be put in an uncomfortable position, but he denies it has anything to do with Anthony or Adriana. Who did he NOT want to sit at a table with then? While listening to Todd, Alexia has her nose
or what is left of it in the air and comes across as haughty. She acknowledges that she always shows up for Todd, but he has been a no-show for her.
Larsa meets up with Guerdy to have coffee. She does not know what she is walking into but is confused by all of Guerdy’s highs and lows. Larsa does not like that Guerdy told the press that she is fake. Doesn’t Larsa live her life online showing off her altered/fake images? She then sees Guerdy getting tearful and tells her, “We are not crying today.” Guerdy does not appreciate being told how to feel by Larsa. She tells Larsa that she has been disrespectful to her and dismissive. Larsa then tells Guerdy she uses too many words to express herself and Larsa can only process so much information with those fillers taking up space in her head. Guerdy, who is sobbing and now pissed, asks Larsa to be patient with her, but I dare to say she is going to the wrong person if she expects compassion.
Have a great week, Blurbers, and enjoy the long Veterans Day weekend!
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