This week on the Real Housewives of Miami, we are hoping to make some slam dunks at the Make a Wish charity basketball game. Can this group of ladies learn to play nicely at least for charity, let us play ball!
Larsa calls Adriana to invite her to the charity basketball event. She mentions her family — meaning Scottie — has been contributing to this organization for 20 years. Larsa pretends that she wants Adriana there despite the friction within the group. She always looks the worst in her FaceTime calls with her face stretched so tight on the screen.
Nicole and Anthony are having a date night — at a basketball court. Anthony has planned to have a professional basketball player give them some pointers. Nicole surprises Anthony with her mad ball skills
in and out of the bedroom. She is excited to show off what she learned. Nicole and Anthony discuss baby number two and she would like to get married when they have the two kids to be part of it. Nicole is more concerned about riding to the game in the Sprinter from hell. Side note: My condolences to Nicole and her family after hearing her father passed away this week. This is very sad news for them after Nicole has been attempting to repair her relationship with her dad.
Adriana has Julia come over to Villa Adriana to practice her singing. She seems to be able to play the piano pretty well but her BFF needs to realize that her singing is not up to par. Julia is still looking for a venue for Martina’s “F*ck Cancer party.” Adriana volunteers her home and it would be an honor to host something for Martina. She acknowledges that it is going to be awkward to have Marysol there but she is willing to suck it up for her friend. Julia shares that Clive Davis hooked her up with an opera singer to help her sing. Jonathan arrives in his tight pants, and he is tasked to teach her, and she is freaked out when she hears him sing. The poor dog is humping Jonathan’s leg trying to self-soothe himself so he can unhear that unpleasant tone coming from Julia.
Alexia and Peter take Frankie for his treatments. She is hopeful that the oxygen therapy will help Frankie and stimulate the cells in his brain. Alexia thinks that Frankie’s accident changed Peter’s life, which makes me wonder, does she delusionally think Peter would never have been in trouble if not for Frankie’s accident?
Lisa takes the kids over to Jody’s house, and I thought she was not introducing the kids to him yet? She claims that the kids do not know he is their boyfriend but one of her gay friends. Jody, who production has named Guncle Joe in the chryon, seems to be sweet with the kids helping Elle get those pesty frogs out of the pool. Lisa cannot believe how lucky she is, and I was thankful she did not mention the L word in this episode since it has got to be tiresome for Jody.
Larsa has everyone get picked up by the Sprinter van and they wish Alexia “Happy birthday”. There are going to be two teams which Larsa has dictated. Team Black: Alexia, Lisa, Nicole, Larsa, and Guerdy. Team Blue: Julia, Marysol, Adriana, and Kiki. Larsa thinks she has picked the winning team for herself since she is very competitive.
While everyone is on the Sprinter, those who were told by Larsa about Guerdy’s cancer are pretending they do not know. Production does a good job of shading Larsa, who cannot keep her inflated yapper shut and keep something confidential. Adriana has to share with everyone that she has corn gas, but there are worse foods to give you wicked gas — like eggs! The ladies panic thinking what is going to come out of Adriana’s rectum and poison them all!
We first must make a pit stop so Adriana can release some of her corn toxins, and she overhears Marysol and Alexia talking about Adriana’s farting. Kiki does not like people passing gas because she is too classy, but production shades her by showing her peeing on the beach. Alexia shares that she pees and poops in front of Todd and would love to have conjoined toilets. She needs to contact 23andMe to find out if she is related to Tre since no one in their right mind would admit to this level of intimacy other than her Jersey counterpart.
Alexia tells Adriana that she is the reason that Todd was not at the party. Adriana confronts Alexia about the comments Todd made suggesting there were problems between them. Marysol jumps in and Adriana spouts out “You are a mother f*cking hateful person.” Marysol tells Adriana she tried to f*ck her boyfriend and she is repulsed by her. Adriana calls Marysol a drunk and a venomous snake. It is shared with Alexia that Adriana thinks she has gotten too uppity riding on Todd’s wealthy coattails. Marcus and Russell, who are also in the Sprinter, are watching this b*tch fight like it is a UFC match.
Thank God they arrive at the event so they can stop fighting and allow the Sprinter driver to air the van out! Adriana pulls Julia aside to let her know what happened. She does not want two snakes, meaning Alexia and Marysol, at her home for Martina’s party. I love to see all the guys and Queen Martina come out to watch the game. I caught Russell telling Todd how much he enjoyed his Cuban cigars at the party. Todd looked a little peeved and turned his back at this comment, and it made me mad since no one should be dismissive to Russell. Nicole is not as good as she was at practice, and Martina deems Julia’s ball-handling skills non-existent.
Alexia and Marysol are enjoying seeing Adriana wipe out and fall on her a*s while trying to play basketball. She thinks she is playing well but it shows otherwise. Marysol then goes down, and Adriana believes it is karma or too much alcohol in her sports bottle. Adriana laments that her BFF Julia will not uninvite Alexia and Marysol to the party. She would hope her friend would see how she is hurting.
Team Black wins, and Julia is the only housewife who could make a basket. They ended up with three injuries and probably only five minutes of playtime. They do raise $40k for this worthy charity, and then Todd has planned a birthday cake and a present for Alexia. Alexia has already bragged about her fancy gift to the group. Todd gifted Alexia with a $78k watch, which IMO does not look that feminine, but she plays it off like she likes it. Todd thought she would like the same watch he wears hopefully he buys real stuff, unlike Louie with fake Cartier. Adriana, who cannot watch Alexia, gets her glory pouts in the bathroom inhaling her noxious corn-gas fumes. I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving, and see you next week in SLC!
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