RHOM Recap: Guerdy Calls Larsa a “Pathological Liar” Amid Heated Confrontation, Julia Questions Her Growing Friendship With Alexia, and Surprises Martina With an Opera Performance

by Elizabeth Comments

RHOM Recap: Guerdy Calls Larsa a “Pathological Liar” Amid Heated Confrontation, Julia Questions Her Growing Friendship With Alexia, and Surprises Martina With an Opera Performance

We are reunited with our Real Housewives of Miami for the continuation of Martina’s opera-themed party. Will Julia be able to pull off her operatic performance? Gird your eardrums, and let’s at least watch!

Julia is ready to perform for Martina’s party, but she is nervous even though she has been rehearsing in the following ways: serenading her donkey while scrubbing his a*s, singing to her poor parrot who is a literal captive audience, and singing to her long-suffering goats who will do anything for a snack. Julia is accompanied by a professional singer along with Adriana, who is quite talented on the piano.

Martina is confused when she sees Julia grab the mic. She can clearly recognize that Julia is no opera singer, but her heart is warmed to see her love doing something to please her — even though it is painful to hear. Alexia and Nicole enjoy watching Martina’s face light up when she sees the lengths Julia went to make her happy. Julia is one lucky lady to be married to Martina, who I think is one of the best spouses on the RH.

Lisa arrives at the party with a whole story about the L-word, which she first shares with Alexia, Nicole, and Larsa. She describes getting ready in her bedroom, and he enters the room aggressively and makes her uncomfortable — and not the way Gizelle on RHOP said either! Lisa threatened Lenny that she would call the police if he did not get out of her way, and he and his mom laughed in her face. Lenny’s mom even gets involved in their verbal alteration and shouts in front of the kids, “She never liked her,” and, “That girl is going to be a better mother than you!” This house is a toxic environment for those kids, and BOTH should be ashamed to be subjecting them to this nonsense. Side note: We all know Lenny was cheating, but we are now finding out Lisa may not be as innocent as she proclaims to be.

Guerdy, Adriana, and Kiki join the other ladies while they are talking to Lisa. She confronts Larsa about being a blabbermouth. Larsa tries to act like she was being a supportive friend. Dear Larsa, the only thing on your body that is supportive is your shapewear that holds your butt implants intact! Guerdy admits she tested Larsa with this delicate health information and wants to know why Larsa has self-appointed herself the message carrier. Larsa cannot handle being called a liar and decides to waddle her fat lumpy a*s out of there. She comes back in when she sees Guerdy leaving with Russell.

Martina addresses the crowd and talks about Julia taking her breath away today and many years ago when they met. She truly believed she was doing speech therapy, and it was a beautiful thing to see Martina smiling in love after her cancer battle. Martina wants to be able to celebrate another 15 years with her love, and let us hope the Housewife curse does not ruin another marriage!

Adriana and Larsa are taking Lisa apartment hunting, and I love that you are getting to see this Miami real estate porn. They look at a $6.9-million condo, which is spacious and has panoramic views. Lenny texts Lisa that he is coming to see his kids, and he wants her to stay away, so she needs to find a new home. The topic of Guerdy comes up, and Larsa pretends that she told the others because she cares about Guerdy, and no one is buying it. Lisa wants to invite the ladies to Palm Beach for a perfume campaign. Larsa asks to take Marcus on a girls’ trip, and that request is denied. Adriana thinks Marcus will enjoy not f*cking Larsa five times a night, and I think that was the best shade of the episode. Thank you, Adriana!

Nicole is taking Greyson to a sunflower farm, and she meets up with Julia and Alexia. Greyson plays while they attempt to cut their own flowers, and they also have to swat away lots of bees. Julia is allergic to bees, so she needs to be careful around the flowers. Nicole chats with the ladies about having another baby. She took her IUD out, and we now know she is pregnant, so this is great news. Lisa calls while they are talking about her, and she invites them on a trip to Palm Beach. Alexia asks Lisa not to talk about Lenny on this trip, and we will have to wait and see how long that lasts! She then pivots to Julia and tells her she wants to do a makeover since she lost so much weight. Blurbers, would you be offended if your pseudo-friend suggested that?

Marysol, Guerdy, and a sex-glowed Kiki meet up. Kiki shares that she had been getting it on the night before and this morning, and she is worried she might get a bladder infection. Marysol pretends like she cannot unhear this information, but this is the same person who calls her drinks “cockies.” She would have loved to have seen Julia sing, but she had this mysterious medical procedure appointment that she could not change. Guerdy wants to hear Larsa take responsibility for running her large, bloated trap. She may never get the apology she seeks since you cannot get a narcissist to empathize when their moral compass is off-kilter.

Alexia and Julia are shopping for some cute outfits for their Palm Beach jaunt. She is enjoying Julia and thinks Adriana has kept them apart so she would not see how fabulous she is. Julia wants to bunk up with Alexia, but she looks reticent. She needs to ask for Todd’s — and Marysol’s — permission. Julia wonders if she is apprehensive since she is a lesbian, and it might be contagious?

The ladies meet up at Jody’s house to go on their road trip to Palm Beach. Production does a good job of showing the differing conversations between the vehicles. Lisa has the intervention vehicle with Guerdy and Marysol, who is worried Lenny’s car has Russian spooge on the seats. Nicole is driving the Fyre car with Kiki and Adriana, who are singing along to her song. Alexia and Julia are driving the nails on the chalkboard operatic car with Larsa’s lips locked on her water bottle like it’s a microphone or Marcus’s member.

Lisa gets some relationship advice from Marysol and Guerdy, which she does not appreciate. She talks about Jody being the whole package, and he is so patient with her while she drones on about all things Lenny. Marysol tries to warn Lisa he will tire of this eventually, so she needs to monitor how much she is saying. Lisa gets anxious hearing their negative advice and wants them to stay out of her business, but she is involving them. Lisa is consumed by the Lenny drama, and they are trying to stop her from messing up her new relationship.

They arrive at a gorgeous estate in Palm Beach. Lisa is planning a pool party and some games — which are sure to offend someone. Larsa and Lisa are taking the primary room since you need a large room to accommodate Ms. Pippin’s ego and expanding derriere. Marysol and Alexia share a room since she does not want to share with Julia. Adriana and Julia end up sharing a room, which makes more sense since Alexia seems like the type who takes over the bathroom. Julia feels like Alexia is afraid she will seduce her, and she is offended since she is a married woman too. They discuss why Alexia would feel the way she does, but we will have to find out next week where this storyline will go. Next week, we will experience some fun in the sun and drama, of course, in opulent Palm Beach! Be well, Blurbers, and see you next week in SLC!