Let’s all come to an agreement to get rid of Dorit from The Real House of Beverly Hills and have the show solely focus on Erika Jayne and her wardrobe. TBH, this season is losing what little steam it had to begin with…
The episode begins at Vanderpump Dogs, a pink institution full of small dogs and gay men. Basically, it’s LVP’s heaven on earth. It’s an incredible place, as they are taking in stray dogs. Just when I feel like I am connecting with LVP on a personal level, big Ken, her husband, enters and SERIOUSLY discusses the $50,000 it would cost to clone Giggy. Yes, that’s right. Insert eye roll here.
LVP opens up about the lawsuit and explains that she is getting sued by a woman who was at one point, a soon-to-be partner in Vanderpump Dogs. Since Ken backed out on being her partner, the woman is coming back with a vengeance. Or something like that. To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention to LVP. I was too busy staring at Ken’s chest as he had an itty, bitty pup tucked into his half unbuttoned shirt. I mean, you can’t blame me…
Teddi shares that she is into wellness and “preservation.” She also shares that she is a fan of Botox, but steers clear of filler. I would too if I saw Rinna in person. Have you SEEN those lips? To bond with the women, Teddi decides to bring Josh, her facial guy, to her house so that all the women can enjoy the treatment she partakes in. What a pal. Upon her completion, Josh, the technician, states, “You’re a honey baked ham.” If I were one of the ladies, I would totally think twice before RSVP-ing yes to this party after that comment.
Kyle rolls up to meet with her TV producers and takes a peak at her show “American Woman,” a “semi” biographical piece that ticked her sisters off. But hey, why don’t you continue to make these types of shows just to solidify your relationships with your sisters? Seems to me that Kyle is living in the past still. Let it go, girl.
I never thought I would hear the words “I was actually really thrilled to get the call from Dorit” from Erika. I liked them SO much better when they were enemies. Dorit’s accent is extra fake and extra ridiculous. In fact, Dorit is just straight up extra. For PK’s birthday, Dorit thinks about scooping up a 3 million dollar vehicle for her hubby. She brings along Erika to join in on the Pagani experience. Whilst test driving the vehicle, Dorit is freaking out and “sexually aroused,” but decides against purchasing the wheels for her man. Like we didn’t see THAT coming.
Rinna and HarryHamlin (all one word) are in the kitchen, where Rinna can’t even make a “flipping cup of tea.” How pathetic. HarryHamlin booked a new job and Rinna pretends she knows what it is like to book jobs. She explains what an excellent father he is, but they both share their concern about Delilah starting at NYU. Delilah will be modeling AND going to college in the city where she will be emulating GiGi Haddid’s portfolio and Instagram and life, for that matter. The parents discuss normal parental issues, except Rinna is obnoxious and pretends she has super human mommy powers.
Over at Vanderpump dogs, Kyle brings over her dog, Storm, but can’t get an appointment. LVP tells us that she purposely forgot about Kyle’s grooming session so she can see Kyle beg. I have to agree. It is quite enjoyable watching Kyle get in there decked out in her beautiful jewelry. It is clear she loves her dog because she withstood LVP’s torture. Post braving the Storm, Kyle discusses how she got Storm from the woman who is suing LVP. Lisa is super private, but opens up to Kyle and states that she does not appreciate Rinna spreading the info around. Lisa is also perplexed by the Teddi/Dorit issue and Kyle does an AMAZING Dorit impersonation.
Speaking of Dorit, Teddi puts on her big girl pants and calls her up. Teddi decides it would be a stellar idea to invite Dorit to her house earlier, before the others girls and Josh, the facial guy, show up. Remember when Dorit doesn’t come to ANYTHING on time? Now you invite her to come over early, to discuss the time she was late, and you’re banking on her ACTUALLY COMING EARLY? Oh Teddi, Teddi, Teddi.
As Teddi prepares for the facial party, Dorit actually comes early and does her best to make a joke about being on time. Dorit is a total snob and she shares that she is not having anyone “touch her face.” Soooo, glad ya came to the FACIAL party, Dorit. Teddi wastes no time to dive in and slam Dorit. #54minuteslate. Teddi is clearly still not over this- the women are getting heated and I think it’s time to provide them with digital watches because it appears as though neither one of them know how to tell time properly. Dorit is offended that Teddi discussed this with the other girls and Teddi is beyond frustrated. I hope this fight is over.
Rinna arrives for Teddi’s spa day and states that “this old bag needs a little fluff.” My god. Although today’s event is supposed to be about Teddi, at Teddi’s house, Dorit grabs the spotlight and tells Rinna she is throwing PK a surprise birthday party. But let’s be honest, none of these women are good at keeping secrets, so I give it a good 45 minutes before PK finds out. Sorry, dude. Dorit pulled out all of the stops for the black tie event and even invited PK’s family from London.
When LVP shows up, she makes a cute little dig about “being on time.” LVP also comes in hot and lets Rinna know SHE knows that big lips has been blabbing about the legal issue. “Typical Rinna” swears it was nothing malicious- it’s all over newspapers, etc.
This whole “being on time” issue lingers STILL when Kyle and Erika get to the party. Dorit is amped and looking to Kyle for answers. Everyone NOT involved in #54minuteslate is exhausted by this never-ending saga. Only like, 2 of the ladies take part in Teddi’s “glam circle” and Rinna looks like she got about 17 layers of skin removed from her neck. WOOF.
When Dorit heads over to Camille, Dorit gives her best apology and Camille dishes Dorit a taste of her own medicine. How do you like long-drawn out grudges coming when YOU’RE the bad guy, Dorit?! “This concludes my apology tour. Definitely not the most restful glam circle I have ever been to.” Here’s an idea, Dorit, stop saying stupid stuff and then maybe you wouldn’t have to apologize every day of your life. #54minuteslate
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