Post breakup with Brittany, Jax fake sulks and we get to see just how loyal the dudes of Vanderpump Rules really are to Jax. It’s absolutely mind-blowing to see the guys flock to Jax, but a lot of things that occur throughout this episode are also mind-blowing.
For starters, Jax tries to justify the break-up with Brittany by stating, “There was just so much damage. It was almost a lost cause.” Remind me again who CAUSED this damage, Jax. That’s right. You did. Down the hall Jax goes to Katie and Schwartzie’s apartment. He shares that he just ended things with Brittany and you can totally see Katie and Schwartzie reel with surprise. Jax, naturally, over-shares that he and Brittany had sex the same morning he broke up with Brittany. Jax claims he needs to “fix” himself before he can make anyone else happy.
To help LaLa gear up for her upcoming performance, LVP gifts her with some insane boots. Just your average boss/employee relationship. LVP gives LaLa a hell of a pep talk and makes LaLa stop her nervousness because after all, “When you’re wearing these boots, what can go wrong?” LVP does have a point…have you seen those boots?!
Later, Sandoval, Ariana, and Ariana’s brother, Jeremy, host Billie Lee at their shared apartment. Sandoval and Ariana state that they are going to start shopping for a house…clarification: they are “in the market.” It’s about time. Their living sitch is less than ideal… When Sandoval gets a text stating that Jax is moping around in a hotel room and he needs some cheering up, Ariana lays down the law. She claims she never gets to spend time with her boyfriend and “Now you’re gonna f*cking bounce cuz Jax” broke up with Brittany. She has a point. I mean, did Sandoval forget that at one time (in the not-so-distant-future) Jax slept with his girlfriend and lied about it for 184 years? Yea. No. Ariana states that Sandoval is up Jax’s butthole and demands to know, “What is it like up there?” Off Sandoval goes to be Jax’s knight in shining armor.
In the land of Kristen and Carter, Kristen is still vehemently denying any relations that are rumored with James Kennedy, but luckily, since Jax broke up with Brittany, newer drama trumps her older drama and Kristen’s cheating (for the time being) gets brushed under the rug. Brittany visits with Kristen and Brittany explains, “I’m at my breaking point. I cannot keep putting myself through this.” HALLELUJAH! It’s about time Brittany puts herself first and loses that dirt bag, Jax. Kristen wastes NO time bringing up Adam, ya know the guy who everyone was trying to set Brittany up with. In a turn of events, Brittany shares that she actually DMed Adam on Instagram. And that my friends, is how a lady moves on.
Over at the hotel where Jax is shacking up for the foreseeable future, the Toms roll up with “reinforcements” to try and ease Jax’s misery over the breakup. Jax decides to pass on LaLa’s performance and the boys agree: it is not a good idea to be around Brittany at all. Interestingly enough, Brittany is ALSO staying at a hotel. Two things come to mind: who is taking care of their dogs then and why are they BOTH avoiding the apartment? Even after they break-up, these two just cannot get the timing figured out.
The next day, Tom and Ariana fake being real adults and go to check out an open floor plan, newly redone house. I’m not entirely sure how those two plan on affording a home, as it appears as though Ariana cannot even purchase an entire shirt. Ariana loves that they are taking “baby steps forward”…not to be confused with HAVING a baby, because “yuck, no, never”…and she clearly is trying to wear the pants in the relationship with Sandoval.
Sandoval: “Opening up my own bar is something that…I’ve been waiting to do all my life.” Welp, you’re just gonna have to keep waiting, Sandoval. You’re about a .000000001% owner of TomTom and we all know that LVP holds the purse strings and makes the REAL decisions necessary. Anyway, the Toms are prepping for the progress party at TomTom and therefore, are at the store shopping for “uniforms” for the employees. I’m pretty sure they’re just having a fashion show to quench Sandoval’s passion for fashion, but whatever it takes.
Stassi is sweating over LaLa’s performance, as she is the event planner for the night’s event. James states that he feels “partially responsible” for LaLa’s success and I just can’t seem to figure out LVP’s new obsession with LaLa. First the boots…then the FaceTiming. Who knew? Speaking of who knew…How Raquel remains attached to James is beyond me. Her boyfriend is clearly in love with LaLa and has a potential boyfriend, but yet she stays. I’ll never understand.
Everyone begins showing up to the event and of course Scheana brings Adam, the bar back who is apparently crushing on Brittany. #drama. LaLa’s squad is my absolute favorite thing in the world. You have Black Elviz, Sean2, and Sandoval bopping to da beat. It’s absolutely fabulous. Upon seeing LaLa on stage, I am experiencing mixed emotions: embarrassment, confusion, so much confusion. Where are her pants? Why is James rapping on stage? What is with the long blazer LaLa throws on for the finale?
LaLa is loving life post performance and is excited that the Pump Rules crew can finally get along together. She states, “Let’s make it one big, unified p*ssy fest.” She also begins to get sappy with another member of the group. “James Kennedy, you gave me the confidence…” to perform in front of your own friends, LaLa? All twenty people really seemed to enjoy the show you put on. Bravo.
Because his Reiki master is away on vaca, Jax settles for the next best thing and goes to see his therapist the next day. The first thing he shares with the therapist is that he is hung over. Jax also states that he “truly loved” Brittany “very, very much” but I think it’s too little too late for any of that, Jax. I think your therapist feels the same way because the glazed over look she is giving Jax says it all. Even a person Jax is PAYING is tired of hearing his BS.
Later, Ariana escorts Brittany back to her apartment so that she can gather some of her stuff while Jax is out. Scheana meets them over there and Brittany shares with the girls that Jax has been texting her. Brittany states that “it’s time for” her to “shine.” Jax hasn’t done anything to make Brittany’s life easier…well, except for one thing. “Thanks for the boob job, as*hole.” Looks like Brittany wins.
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS VANDERPUMP RULES EPISODE? ARE YOU STILL SURPRISED BY ANYTHING JAX DOES?!