The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Mexican Meltdown

by Tiffany Brown

RHONJ Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Mexican Meltdown

The ladies of The Real Housewives of New Jersey have become absolutely insufferable.  

I’m not sure if all this drama is an attempt to increase the ratings, or if they’ve actually just lost their minds, but they’re a complete mess–and you can’t take them anywhere.  I think there are two problems: the seems to bring out the worst in all the housewives across the board, and meals..if they’re eating (or drinking) together, particularly in a high-end restaurant, you can bet there will be yelling, cursing, and if it’s Jersey, something’s going to get broken.  In last night’s episode, they truly outdid themselves, here goes the deets:

When we picked up with the ladies, they were just waking up, and still reeling from the events of the night before. In case you missed it, Margaret and Jennifer got into a nasty little cat fight–probably for one of the most ridiculous women ever.  The fact is that these two just don’t like each other, and simply rub each other the wrong way. It’s pretty much been that way since they met. But things were different in Mexico. They were gunning for each other, and both were out of line.

It began with Jennifer throwing a tantrum because Margaret, Melissa, and Dolores hadn’t asked her brother to design the necklace they’d bought Teresa as a gift to celebrate her bikini competition being over, and she called it ugly, and ended with Margaret telling her that her lip liner made her mouth look like a “monkey’s a*****e.” Naturally, yelling and storming off soon followed. It wasn’t their finest moment.

But the light of a new day brings a new perspective, right? Well, no not really. Margaret, of course, blamed Jennifer, and felt that she went completely crazy, but Teresa and Danielle couldn’t blame her at all, considering what Margaret had said about her looks. Teresa is starting to feel differently toward Margaret, and has been ever since Danielle’s wedding.  Sure, Danielle was being a total bridezilla beast, but Teresa feels that Margaret “blew things out of proportion” during the trip to Bimini. Melissa and Jackie, on the other hand, were simply embarrassed by all the yelling, but more than anything, they were disappointed in Teresa.  

Melissa reminded Jackie that Teresa has never been the best judge of character (you don’t say!) and neither could believe that she’d just sat there while Jennifer called the gift they gave her ugly, and then went running after her when she went stomping off. I mean, if your friends bought you a $2,000 necklace, and another friend called it ugly right in front of them, wouldn’t you at least defend the gift, and say it was beautiful to you because they bought it for you? 

Wisely, it was decided that the ladies would divide into two different groups for the day, so that everyone would have a chance to cool off.  Teresa, Jennifer, Danielle, and Melissa went shopping and to lunch (yes, another restaurant) and Margaret, Dolores, and Jackie chilled by the pool. Dolores confided that she and Jackie had a very sad struggle in common. Dolores, too, had struggled with an eating disorder in the past, and she shared a photo of herself looking frighteningly thin. Then Jackie asked Margaret the burning question that had been on everyone’s mind since the ugliness of the night before: just what does a monkey’s a****** look like anyway?! Luckily, they all had their phones and quickly found plenty of pictures.

Things were a little more serious across town. As Teresa, Jennifer, Danielle, and Melissa discussed the night before, and Jennifer was actually beginning to chuckle at the whole thing, Danielle decided to amp things up, and the best way to do that was to make it all about herself.  She went on and on about how hurt she was by Margaret’s actions, calling them malicious and evil. It was taking things a bit too far, and Melissa stepped up to defend Margaret, but in an effort to prove her point, Danielle said Margaret’s shortcomings were likely the reason Margaret didn’t have a relationship with her stepchildren.

For Melissa, this was a bridge too far, and she told Danielle that she needed to stop because children were strictly off limits.  Danielle told her to “beware” of Margaret, and went storming off, yelling that she’d never done anything to hurt Melissa. Melissa yelled after her that she was pissing her off, and before Teresa could fully open her mouth to defend Danielle, Melissa told her to “STFU” because she’s starting to believe everything people say about Danielle, and stormed off herself.  

Teresa went after Melissa, while Jennifer went to console Danielle. When Teresa caught up with her, Melissa explained that she was angry about Danielle bringing up Margaret’s kids, but Teresa defended Danielle, and said that the things she’d said about Margaret’s relationship with her kids were true. This left Melissa shocked. After all, they’d just caught Danielle in a lie at Milania’s listening party when Melissa asked her point blank whether or not what she’d said Margaret said about not being able to trust Teresa and Melissa had been true, and now Teresa was defending her—again?!  

Meanwhile, Danielle was explaining to Jennifer that she was reacting with “hurt and pain,”  and Jennifer fell for this victim playing hook, line, and sinker. She felt bad, and said she just couldn’t understand why everyone was so hard on Danielle. Poor thing–she’s new, but she’ll learn soon enough.

That evening, the ladies went to dinner, and you’ll never guess what happened–things went from bad to worse. Shocking, right? As the ladies sat down to dine at a beautiful beachside restaurant, and began ordering cocktails, Melissa commented “here we go” when Jennifer ordered straight tequila. When Jennifer wanted to know what Melissa meant by that, Margaret answered for her. She said that she didn’t think that Jennifer realized how she sounded when she’d had a few drinks. Here we go again, indeed! 

Jennifer suggested that they just discuss the “elephant in the room”. Melissa brought up the fact that Teresa couldn’t even enjoy the gift they gave her, and Jennifer said she understood that, but Margaret’s snarky comments had finally gotten to her. Margaret said that Jennifer twisted everything and made it all about herself.  Jennifer said it wasn’t the first time Margaret had “attacked” her. Margaret said she’d never done anything of the sort.

Jennifer pointed out Margaret’s “mail order bride” comments about her brother’s fiancé, but Margaret said that was nothing compared to what Jennifer had said about her mother. Then Jennifer actually brought up a pretty good point, she said that if she hadn’t wanted anyone to say anything bad about her mother, she should have kept the fact that she’d dated married men when Margaret was growing up to herself.  She added that such a thing was very “taboo” in her eyes, and incidentally, she added, it was also the reason Margaret was so comfortable with cheating. Ouch!

Margaret again brought up the fact that Jennifer’s husband sleeps in the pool house–“or in his girlfriend’s bed,”  which she said was the “word on the street.” It was way out of bounds, not to mention totally baseless, and Jennifer told her to STFU, before calmly folding her napkin, and leaving the table. Danielle, of course, was right at her heels.

Dolores told Margaret that her comment about Jennifer’s husband having a girlfriend was way below the belt, and Teresa agreed it had been a horrible thing to say. After all, Teresa has plenty of experience with rumors about cheating in her own marriage, so she knows how it feels.  Melissa said Margaret had made it sound like she actually knew something, and that it had been misleading, and Jackie said that she’d be pretty angry, too, if Margaret had said such a thing about her husband. Margaret simply shrugged, and said she’d only given as good as she’d gotten. Besides, she said, she’d obviously hit a nerve, so maybe there really was truth to it.

But the ladies’ chastising must have worked, after all, because when Jennifer and Danielle came back to the table, Margaret took the high road.  She admitted that she knew nothing about Jennifer’s husband or her marriage, and that she’d only made the comment to hurt her, and said that she was sorry.  Jennifer must have been feeling equally mature at that moment,  because she, too, admitted that she’d said hurtful things, and she agreed to just let the whole thing go.  Dinner actually ended on a nice note.

The following day, the ladies went camel riding on the beach (who knew you could ride a camel on the beach in Mexico?!) and continued to enjoy each other’s company.  In fact, there was only a small hiccup all day, and it happened  when Teresa brought up Joe “coming home in March.” Which March is she talking about?! And which “home”? Anyway, she talked about how he’d said he couldn’t wait to be with her and how he’d really seemed to change while he’d been “away.”

Dolores warned her to be careful, and not to give an inch when it came to how Joe treated her. Teresa wanted to know what Dolores meant by that, and asked if she thought he was going to act the same way he always did, and Dolores replied, ‘I think he’s gonna try.’ And well, Dolores speaks the truth.  But in the interest of keeping the peace, they moved on to discuss lighter topics. It was actually kind of nice…until it was time to eat again.

The ladies decided to spend their last night in Mexico at a beautiful restaurant, whose management wisely provided them with a private outdoor table. Things started off pretty well, with Jennifer inviting all of the ladies to her upcoming anniversary party. Then, she and Teresa playfully “flirted” with one another, and Teresa commented on how much she loved Jennifer’s lips. It was dangerous territory, considering the topic of their dinner from a few nights before, but it would have gone by unnoticed had Danielle been able to keep her mouth shut, but come on…it’s Danielle. She immediately said that the women had been discussing her lips earlier, and brought up Margaret’s “monkey’s a******” comment. Forgive her, it wasn’t all about her for a second, so she couldn’t help herself. Granted, the lip comment wasn’t about her, either, but she damn it, she was in the mood to spar. Ask, and you shall receive. 

Margaret told her she didn’t matter, and called Danielle a liar for implying that she’d been talking about Jennifer’s lips again. Then Teresa stepped up. She said that Margaret had lied the day before when she’d said Jennifer’s husband had a girlfriend. Margaret acknowledged that she had, but said she’d immediately admitted that she’d been lying and had apologized. Danielle said that yes, at least she’d apologized to Jennifer, implying pointedly that Margaret hadn’t apologized to her.  Margaret said that Danielle was the one who owed her an apology, which launched Danielle into her whole monologue about Margaret being a horrible person, whose antics had nearly ruined her wedding, and that it was actions like that that made her children stay away. It was too much.

Margaret said her children were around, just not around Danielle, and then she threw her red wine in Danielle’s face. It was a risky move. Danielle, as we all know, is not playing with a full deck, and she’s not averse to violence. She quickly jumped up, and threw not her wine, but her glass at Margaret, prompting a large, and surprisingly stealth security guard to grab her as Margaret narrowly escaped.

Once she was gone, the ladies continued arguing over the situation, and Melissa told Teresa to stay out of the fight between Margaret and Danielle. She also suggested that  Jennifer, who was throwing back tequilas like water to actually have a seat and drink some water. She chastised them for their behavior, and accused Danielle and Jennifer of throwing glasses at her. Jennifer said she hadn’t thrown a glass, but if and when she did, Melissa would know it, and grabbed another glass and broke it on the table, creating a dangerous looking weapon, which Melissa took as a direct threat. She quickly advanced toward Jennifer, and pointed in her face, saying “you’ve got the wrong f***ing girl!”

The show faded to black from there, but trust me, this Mexican melee is far from over…stay tuned!