On this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York City, the ladies head to Newport, Rhode Island. Will Leah and Ramona butt heads over her drinking? Will the tiki torch throwing Hurricane Leah appear? Batten down the hatches!
Ramona is inviting the ladies to Newport. We see them all preparing for the trip. Sonja has her poor
unpaid intern helping her pack her hormones. She is just rambling on nonsensically to this poor kid who is probably thinking this woman has totally lost her marbles.
Dorinda is working on Blue Stone Manor. She is still wallowing in her flood renovations. Dorinda really needs to move on with her life instead of trying to rebuild her old one.
Tinsley is already getting grief over bringing her own pillow. Let the girl bring her own pillow for goodness’ sake! I would need a security blanket and a morphine drip to deal with this group. Leah is already up Ramona’s a** by telling her how young she looks. She is greasing the wheel so her sister can come on this trip. Why would Leah want to subject her poor sister to this group after just giving birth? I would take a screaming baby over this menopausal group of harpies!
Dorinda comes alone and is the first to arrive, and she is fortunate enough to get some peace and quiet. She is already mentioning how she used to come here with Richard. Oh boy, the ghosts of Richard past are around…
Everyone but Dorinda ride together in the van to Newport. Leah discusses her pita guy and how he is not being attentive. Leah doesn’t like how he brings out her needy side. Since he is not giving her what she wants, she questions his sexuality.
Leah wants to invite her sister, who is a new mom, and Ramona isn’t happy about it. She needs her sister around now since she is spiraling over her pita guy. He is not being appreciative that he scored a beauty in this relationship!
Newport does look really quaint and lovely. Once Ramona arrives at the resort she orders her oysters since her vagina is already starting to tingle. Eww. Leah is getting grief over not eating
and drinking on an empty stomach since she is not a happy girl, and she is still advocating for her sister to come stay. Ramona says guests are not allowed, and Leah disses Elyse to Ramona by saying why is she invited as a guest since no one is even talking to her? Boom, good question. Ramona claims it is because she KNOWS people #snob.
The rooms are so beautiful but I am sure someone is going to have something to bit** about. The sea air is making Sonja horny. No surprise there, all it takes is a lukewarm breeze and Sonja is amped up for action!
Ramona claims she is being pressured to invite Leah’s sister. When does she let someone tell her what to do? This is going to be the calm before the storm. The Ramona-coaster is going to stir up a whirling dervish of dysfunction by playing with Leah’s emotions.
Tinsley thinks Leah wouldn’t possibly behave like she did on their last trip, but she will, however, brace herself for a wild trip. Tinsley just wants her to try and keep her clothes on. Keep those expectations super low, Tins! Leah is already giggling and burping.
Ramona has a tent set up for her clam bake, and it looks like it could be a wedding celebration. She wants all of the ladies to wear crowns. It is funny that Luann sees the crown and in her mind breaks into her song “Feeling Jovani.” I am with Sonja. Seriously dude, Lu, please no references to your music or cabarets!
Upon seeing the tent, Tinsley thinks it is her wedding. The other ladies hear Tins screeching before they see her. You can tell the other ladies are annoyed by her presence
and some of them are just barely tolerating her.
Leah tells Ramona her cocktail is not strong enough. Ramona tries to micromanage her drinking. I agree with Dorinda that Ramona shouldn’t question anyone else’s drinking. Ramona is now calling Leah a recovering alcoholic, and Dorinda thinks she is the new and improved her! God help us all! I can’t handle hearing about leaky mansions and the ghosts of the past!
Leah is sucking it up so her sister can come. She is trying to make nice — for now. Sonja admires how Leah likes to go against all convention
and basically make her look tame. Leah is calling Ramona “Mom” while humping her chair. This might be why Leah’s mom isn’t talking to her since she started drinking. It would get embarrassing when your daughter starts acting like a horny dog when she drinks.
Sonja and Ramona are planning how to uninvite Leah’s sister, and Leah is getting super tipsy and giving Sonja a lap dance. What is with all of the kissing between Dorinda and Ramona? Tinsley is trying to give Dorinda a hug. She is begging for a hug. There are so many emotions and crazy antics going on at this table. IT IS INSANE! Leah is rolling around on the grass and spouting all sorts of nonsense. Tinsley and Dorinda are drunken blabbering to each other.
Ramona decides at this moment
with production prodding to tell Leah her sister cannot come on the trip. I don’t understand why they think Leah needed basically a cattle prod to liven this clam bake up! She was already off the chain! This sh** is about to get real.
Leah is fuming about the fact that her sister is already on her way and this is messed up. Sonja
commiserates thinks Leah just has a split personality. I think she recognizes herself in Leah. Luann is just upset that the flowers are being trashed at the table. Priorities, priorities! Dorinda thinks she is like a gangster with the blue eyes. I find it totally ironic that Dorinda and Sonja can see themselves in Leah.
Leah understandably is in tears over her sister being uninvited. Ramona is trying to talk her off the cliff. She tries to calm her with meditative breathing. Leah wants to leave since her sister can’t come.
Luann acts like she never behaved this way before. Production shows several clips showing otherwise. They are used to crazy, but this type of behavior is foreign to this group? Leah is totally melting down in sobbing fits. Ramona finally agrees to her sister coming after Leah’s temper tantrum and epic meltdown. Ramona acts like she only said no since she likes to control the situation. No duh.
The next morning, Dorinda calls Leah to see how she is doing after her post-drunken night. Leah comes down to the beach and wants to chat with Dorinda. They want to stick their feet in the water
and detox the booze out of their system. Leah feels like she was able to release the demons that have been upsetting her. She may have released them but she is still surrounded by some demonic housewife forces.
Sonja and Ramona wake up, according to them, fresh as a daisy. Elyse comes by and brags she is fine since she doesn’t drink. She thinks Leah needed an exorcism last night. Ramona thinks Leah needs to reserve her crazy side for her young friends. The ladies head into town to go shopping and get something to eat.
When Elyse questions Leah on how she is doing after her crazy evening, Leah acts all cool and unbothered. Leah tells Elyse that the drunken Leah is who she really wishes she was. She doesn’t appreciate Elyse questioning her behavior from the night before. I think I hear some rumbling of storm clouds…
In one car, we have Elyse, Ramona, and Sonja. Elyse is imitating the other women
hoping to snag the golden apple. She actually is spot on with her impersonations of the other ladies in the car. I will give her that.
The poor store owner has to witness Leah and Elyse bickering over her bad behavior. Leah is cursing like a sailor. You can tell the topic of questioning Leah’s parenting and her daughter possibly behaving that way is a touchy subject. Elyse needs to not push that button with Leah.
Dorinda thinks that Elyse is acting like a cop waiting for them to mess up so she can call them on it. Ramona
on her super high horse acts like she is the queen of decorum.
Leah doesn’t like being judged by the other ladies because she came on the trip upset. Ramona claims she blacked out
by drinking Pinot Grigio Leah’s behavior the night before. She claims she grew up in a war zone and this brings her back. She says reading books helped her to not turn out like her alcoholic brother. Luann calls bullsh** on Ramona’s description of blocking out Leah’s behavior. ME TOO! There is now a to-be-continued…
Next week, Ramona is trolling for men and Leah throws ravioli at Ramona and Sonja at dinner? Dorinda and Tinsley butt heads over Scott again. Take care everyone and have a great weekend!