We are still in the Hamptons filming The Real Housewives of New York City starring Leah F*cking McSweeney! Leah has picked Eboni to be her MVP so she has a proper defense in her arsenal. Let’s watch and see how this battle of etiquette plays out.
Sonja is fearful that Heather will air whatever they share with her on the podcast. Eboni admires how Luann and Sonja can have a Biggie-Pac symbiotic relationship. It appears they are not following that analogy and have no idea who either rapper is.
Leah and Sonja both call Ramona a button pusher. She justifies her bad behavior by saying she is sex-positive. Ramona thinks that Leah has coined that phrase and doesn’t realize it is being used in this present time.
Ramona explains why she is uncomfortable with all of the sex talk. She doesn’t get all of the WAP stuff. In her ITM, Leah thinks Ramona is getting more action than all of the women put together. Ramona shows Leah that she could easily simulate sex while running a feather across her face. She looks like she is being aroused and seeing this grosses me out more than the sex talk.
Luann can see where this conversation is heading so she is calling it a night. She has learned to exit stage left when the group gets drunk and bawdy. Luann is going to sneak out the front door for some sexy action. She needs to work off her sexual aggression after hearing all of this sexy talk.
Eboni thought Ramona said that she could take a big d*ck. When Ramona hears this, she decides to take her bottle and call this not-so-classy night a wrap. She doesn’t want to talk about Cs, Ds, and Ps. Eboni chases her down and apologizes for that comment.
Ramona and Sonja chat in the morning about all of the “penis talk.” She looks really red and blotchy from drinking all that Pinot. Sonja actually looks better than Ramona at this point in time. How is that possible?
Eboni and Leah chat about how Ramona can be so hypocritical about sex. She wants to respect her comfort zone. Eboni says her big d*ck comment was actually a compliment. She will not allow Ramona to dictate to her how to behave in a public setting. Eboni has worked in the news industry and she will shout d*ck to the rooftops if she wants to. She is an accomplished woman and she isn’t going to let them all forget it either.
Leah gets a message from her mom that her grandma is slipping away. She is sniffling while reading the texts. Leah hears this and doesn’t rush right home? Now that is some hypocrisy there!
Ramona and Heather talk about the night before. Heather felt she was captured and tarred and feathered by this group. Ramona wants Heather to keep her and Sonja out of her podcast. She doesn’t want to be in the press
but only if she is portrayed as the beautiful and sexy Ramona Singer. Ramona wants Mario to hear on repeat how fabulous she is and what a big mistake he made by cheating on her.
Heather is a girl who just wants to have fun, and she doesn’t want to be schooled in proper etiquette. You can tell she is already starting to question if she did the right thing by signing on to hang with this group of ladies.
Luann visits Garth, who is in her house cooking for the ladies. She has a beautiful home and I love when they show it. Luann wants some “food and nude,” and she thinks this horny group of Housewives will partake in this activity. She wanted to do something different and take advantage of the fact that she has an artistic family. They are calling this exercise “life drawing,” and Luann is sure this will give them all a lady hard-on. Yep, sure will.
Leah gets her glam squad, and they double as her emotional support squad. Eboni gets grief from Ramona over how long it is taking them to get ready. She wants to look good and she schools Ramona on what is involved in getting a Black woman’s hair done. Eboni doesn’t want to go back in time — she has the Emancipation Proclamation on her side and she is free to do as she pleases.
Kurt, our professional poser, arrives, and he has no idea what he is walking into. Garth, Lu’s sexy lumberjack, leaves before the nude artistry starts. She likes him since she can order him around and he answers the phone. An extra bonus is that he doesn’t drink. Garth must have stopped answering the phone since they are no longer together and she has moved on to another guy.
Luann has a musician named Alfredo come over. Alfredo is single and ready to mingle, and he is reminding me of Billy Bob Thornton. Luann wants to set him up with Sonja. She is hoping that he will be a distraction so she will stop lusting after Garth.
Sonja already is not into him. She prefers bankers and Lu’s discards to common folk. Sonja wants a dandy guy with a checkered shirt. Maybe Howdy Doody is available?
Eboni doesn’t want to appear to be thirsty by drooling over the nude model. She will just sneak some peeks to determine if he has what it takes. Sonja hasn’t been a stripper or a nude model in the past. I am not buying that at all — she has proven otherwise with her antics. Sonja wasn’t being paid is the difference.
Kurt is now disrobing and the ladies are getting a little giggly. Sonja volunteers to take his sarong off. Eboni understands why he does this work on the side. She can appreciate how his manscape accentuates his package. Leah is pleased that his d*ck is bigger than his balls and he has an “in-betweenie-weenie.” Ramona could only draw his d*ck so you know where her mind is.
Ramona decides to step aside since she is unable to tolerate this uncomfortable situation. She is digging Alfredo and grooving to his music. Ramona TRIES to dance and groove to Alfredo’s music and she looks hilarious. She says the music is touching her, but she really wishes Alfredo would ravage her.
Sonja is struggling to try to keep her eye off Kurt’s pickle. She actually does a pretty good job painting. Sonja isn’t used to keeping her hands off of the goods. She approves of his admirable “ballsack.”
Leah is feeling terrible and trying to bring attention to herself. She is worried about her grandma and claims she has vertigo. Ramona tries to console Leah and makes her more upset. Eboni thinks a flag needs to be thrown to shut down Ramona, who is making it worse.
Leah sobs on Eboni’s shoulder. She is afraid of the time that her grandma won’t be around. Why did she even come? Apparently, Leah’s priority was to go after Heather and not spend some final moments with her grandma. She is crying like a toddler who is trying to get some attention.
Eboni seems to be a very understanding person. She articulately describes how Leah is realizing that she is losing her biggest cheerleader. I hate that Eboni’s kindness is wasted on Leah.
The ladies decide to sit down for lunch. They are all enjoying the lamb curry and Sonja thinks that is what’s making Garth a keeper. Luann hears how Ramona and Leah had a disagreement the night before. She tries to explain that Ramona is conservative and a church-going Catholic.
Leah can’t accept this hypocrisy since Ramona has lied about donating blood plasma. She acts like she can’t possibly know what triggers Ramona. Come on now — she knows exactly what she is doing, and she uses her provocative comments to provoke Ramona.
Ramona wants Leah to act like her precious Avery. Leah doesn’t like that comparison, and she thinks Avery would never share details on her sex life with her mom.
Leah didn’t want to listen to Ramona when she was showing off her boobs dressed in a thong previously. She doesn’t like to be compared to her daughter. Leah storms off and looks back to make sure the camera is following her thirsty a*s. She is still talking outside to herself/production and trying to maintain her camera time.
Eboni doesn’t understand why Ramona thinks it is not very classy to talk like that. She lets them all know that she is more educated than all of them. Eboni Googled all of them to learn more about their backgrounds.
Leah is like the plague — she just can’t go away. She eavesdrops on the conversation, and she storms in and calls them hoes. Leah tells Ramona that Avery has been sucking d*ck since she was 14 years old. She doesn’t want to be treated like a raunchy b*tch. Leah FINALLY leaves and takes her nasty energy with her.
Heather tries to get them to listen to each other. Luann is fired up that Eboni treats them like they are beneath her. She can speak three languages and has lived quite a life. Luann doesn’t like the insinuation that she is an idiot. In her ITM, Eboni says that she went to college at 16 and then to law school, and she was practicing law at 23.
Heather accurately surmises that this is out of control. When Ramona says her ears are hurting, Eboni attributes it to Ramona’s white fragility. She thinks that she is being labeled as an angry Black woman.
Eboni thinks they called her angry because they see her as a Black woman. She argues that isn’t making it about race. Leah was unchecked and got away with murder and no one called her an angry woman.
Luann wants Eboni to leave since she is insulting her in her own home. Eboni will not allow Luann to police her feelings. She doesn’t want Luann to sex shame women and use education to do it. Eboni thinks that Luann is trashy for speaking to her this way. Lu says, “You should know the word!” The race gauntlet has been thrown down. We now have a to-be-continued.
Next week, Leah is still wreaking havoc and making this trip a total disaster. Luann apologizes to Eboni but wants an apology in return. Leah is calling Heather a Karen. I hope all is well with my fellow Blurbers, and have a great day!
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