This episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills teases us with Erika right off the bat. She states, “There’s so many layers to this divorce. It’s so complicated.” I’LL SAY. We are all on the edge of our seats, fresh off of viewing The Housewife and the Hustler, but alas, we sit through an hour of made-up fights and fluff before we get a glimpse of Mrs. Girardi again…
Election day 2020. Kyle‘s holding an election night party (if only these women knew how long and stressful this election would really drag on…), and in true Kyle fashion, she is controlling everything — right down to Mauricio’s look for the night. She chats with her disinterested hubby and shares how her big mouth got her in trouble once again. Except, like usual, Kyle doesn’t realize she is in the wrong.
It turns out that Kyle butted into a deep conversation between Crystal and Dorit on the flight home from Tahoe. Dorit and Kyle exchanged a few words because Kyle is a serial interrupter, and things have been a bit rocky between the two women. Wish we knew what Crystal and Dorit were talking about before they were so rudely interrupted by Kyle. Bet it was way more interesting than this “fight.”
As Crystal and her husband, Rob, drive over to Kyle’s, Crystal discusses how odd it was to have someone (Sutton) be not nice to her. She is sort of dreading hanging out with Sutton, and I think Rob is sort of dreading this entire evening given that the first words he speaks to Kyle upon meeting her are, “Can we start drinking?” Ugh, how awkward, and yes, Rob, I am with you on that one.
Dorit enters in her preppy, leprechaun look (so much for heeding Kyle’s patriotic dress code), and Rinna comes in her new persona, which she claims helps with her marriage to Harry Hamlin. Gross. Because all this group does is pry, the women discuss Erika’s “shocking” divorce text. Rinna couldn’t quite find a sign of divorce between Erika and Tom, and Kyle reminds the group that they don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. But naturally, Kyle makes it about her and questions if she is really even as close with Erika as she thought she was, considering she had no idea the couple was heading to splitsville.
During this same chat, Crystal admits that she lost five pounds after Tahoe due to her fight with Sutton. According to Crystal, this is not actually something to celebrate. Crystal divulges that she is a recovering bulimic. She was 11 when she began her eating disorder, and she opens up to the women about her struggles, which she has since gotten under control. OF COURSE Rinna likens Crystal’s story to her daughter. What else is new? But Rinna is happy that Crystal is open and honest about her braveness.
Later, Kyle grabs Dorit and wants to discuss what happened on the plane. Kyle states that they have had this conversation before, and frankly, she is tired of Dorit’s behavior. Kyle demands to know why Dorit treats her differently than the other women, and Dorit defends herself against Kyle because Kyle is the one in the wrong here. When Kyle tells Dorit to never speak like that to her again, Dorit stands and repeats over and over again, “We’re good.” (Translation: This fight is stupid and I’d rather go home and see my parents who are visiting.) Kyle stares aghast as Dorit rounds up PK and leaves pre-dinner. If only Kyle and Dorit could handle their issues the way the husbands do…
The next morning, Sutton and Garcelle peruse some Bentleys… in private. Sutton had the place closed to the public so they can shop alone. THE MONEY. As they test-drive the convertible, Garcelle is curious to find out if Sutton is going through a midlife crisis. Between the divorce, the new house, and the Bentley, it’s all adding up, and I don’t think Garcelle is too far off.
Over “dinner” — although I can’t even really say over dinner because Crystal kind of just throws plates of food at her children and plops down on the sofa with Rob — the couple discusses the evening prior. Rob appears to be way more laidback than Crystal, and he found Sutton to be fine. He also shares his shock in finding out Crystal told the women about her bulimia. Crystal talks about wanting to be “American” as a child, and I have to wonder if she ever talked to her husband about her past prior to this conversation…
Kyle and Kathy visit Sutton’s new store and support/judge everything. In true Kyle fashion, she talks about mom jeans and states, “All I know is that they’re ugly but they’re cool so I have to wear them.” Typical. Sutton reminds the girls about her Parisian luncheon that she is hosting, and they all wonder if Erika will show up after her bombshell text. After ballsy Sutton sends Erika a message, we find out that we will be graced with Erika’s presence for lunch. YAS.
Rinna is running around looking for her farmer hubby, who has grown an entire garden full of every veggie one could want, including pumpkins. I guess I see why he’s never at any events. Somebody has to water those potatoes! Between the composting and the gardening advice, it is clear that those two could not be any more different. They run through their fire drill plan, and although Rinna sucks at being a firefighter, she claims she can give a “damn good blowjob,” and that’s probably why he’s sticking around with her. They discuss Erika’s split with Tom, and Harry talks about his two divorces. They make pinky promises to never divorce, and I feel like they just jinxed themselves on national TV.
Soooo, Sutton’s lunch is a wedding?? Sutton’s missing Paris fashion week, but I think she is missing the mark with that tablescape. She “tempts” the ladies with some of her store items, and I feel like she has the right audience. These women spend frivolously. I mean, Crystal has a $95,000 purse that Kyle eyes so enviously it’s almost comical. Speaking of Kyle and comical, can we discuss her hat? She cannot even turn her head fully with that thing on…
It’s funny when Kyle sits in Crystal’s kitchen and the two make awkward small talk. Crystal asks, “How are you feeling about Dorit? I totally forgot,” and yeah, the viewers forgot, too Crystal. Unfortunately, Kyle loves to remind us of how she was the victim in this Dorit argument… just like she loves to remind us over and over again that Sutton rents *her* house. WE KNOW. And it’s becoming annoying the number of times Kyle shares that Sutton is her renter.
Dying over the fact that Rinna and Kyle are wearing the same dress. From now on Rinna needs to tell all of the ladies what she plans on wearing prior to the events. And leave it to Kyle to use that topic to yell out, “Not only did we steal each other’s looks, but Sutton stole my god damn house!” ENOUGH.
They all toast the Biden/Harris win and then wait around for Erika to arrive for lunch. They begin to share their personal reactions to the news of her divorce. Garcelle states she felt the love Erika had for Tom, and Dorit explains that Erika holds her feelings close to her heart, so no one really ever knew what Erika was feeling. No one can believe that they are splitting up, and then Garcelle goes THERE. She suggests that Erika *wait* to divorce Tom, and she implies that Erika should stick out the marriage until Tom kicks the bucket. Although he is 82, Tom may have a lot more life in him. #toorisky. Plus, remember, at this point, no one knows the legal battles brewing!
Finally, Erika saunters into Sutton/Kyle’s house as if she were walking a runway, and we are slammed with a “to be continued…” yet again. Why do they have to keep doing this to us?! Can’t wait to see what Erika chooses to share if anything…
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