We are back in Williamsburg with our Real Housewives of Potomac for another awkward dinner moment. Will tempers flare and unresolved issues be rehashed for the millionth time? Absof*ckinlutely! Let’s watch and see!
Gizelle says all she wants is Ray to live and just pay his bills. I HATE to criticize my Queen Karen, but I so reluctantly have to agree with Gizelle. She did not imply what Karen is claiming. Karen should have focused on the godawful T-shirt that Gizelle sported and conducting surveillance on her home like a creepy stalker.
Wendy tries to diplomatically tell Karen that she misinterpreted what was said. She does not agree that Gizelle was wishing death upon Ray. The other ladies all agree that Karen and Gizelle have equally shaded each other.
Candiace tries to get them to talk to each other instead of at each other. She is over their incessant fussing. I do not know about you all, but don’t you find it kind of rich that she is calling their arguments childish? Last season, it was akin to a playground brawl between two grown a*s women resulting in one woman being expelled from the school of RHOP.
Mia and Askale both try to get the ladies to acknowledge each other’s transgressions. Askale is unhappy that they are all walking on eggshells since these two have drawn their battle lines and she did not sign up for this bullsh*t. Gizelle just wants to put their friendship in the trash. She does not think that Karen can “fix her face” or frankly stop calling her out on her hypocrisy. Side note: I cannot get enough of that scene with the mime walking around while they were arguing.
Wendy (who must have the worst wedgie camel toe with her bodysuit), Askale, and Karen head over to the cottage to check out their accommodations. Candiace is trying to sell this three-star rental as adorable and cozy. Karen is just glad that she does not have to room with Gizelle, and she will accept the subpar accommodations in order to do that. YIKES, our Grande Dame looked like Beetlejuice in her ITM while mimicking an angry Gizelle! Wendy, Karen, and Askale all realize that they have been relegated to the servants’ quarters and must serve their penance before they can move on up to the big house.
Askale calls her husband and is unhappy over their three-star accommodations. She cannot believe what a drama-fest it already is. Darling Askale, have you not watched RHOP? Wendy and Karen mess up Askale’s name by calling her Taskala and Tesla while they are trying to bring their suitcases upstairs. Karen and Askale will not let Wendy help since she might pop those titties. While at the estate, production super-shadily shows how the other ladies are getting catered to by the staff.
Back in Potomac at the Darby condo, we are watching Ashley and Michael navigate the challenges of having two babies. Ashley has planned a family photoshoot. They are trying to make it work since they need to get their sh*t together since the photographer is coming.
Dean and Dylan are clearly the stars of these photos. Poor little baby Dylan has jaundice, and Ashley has been treating it at home instead of at the hospital. Ashley wants to bring in a night nurse since she is exhausted. She needs to take that help since her husband behaves like a man child and she has two babies to care for. Ashley shares with Michael that she got invited by Gizelle to join the ladies in Williamsburg for a day. Michael encourages her to go so she can get a break and he can see what Juan is up to since Robyn is out of town.
Michael offers to bring Dylan to work with him since he has women to help there. They will have their hands all over the baby and Michael will try to partake in the action. Ashley asks Michael if he knows of anyone who would be good for Gizelle. Michael very shadily says, “How about Juan?” Since he will not marry Robyn anyway. He honestly would swoop in himself if Juan were available since he has been crushing on him for years. Michael is questioning why Robyn and Juan have not gotten married yet.
Back at the cottage, Wendy is vamping it up big time in her Versace top and leather pants. I hope she has nipple covers since those nips are on the verge of escaping the Versace bustier.
Gizelle and Robyn commiserate over Wendy’s makeover. They do not recognize this woman and they wonder what is behind it. Robyn says Wendy’s bodysuit made her crotch hurt. Me too! She thinks Wendy exuded substance and now reeks of desperation. Robyn thinks Zen Wen is cold and insecure. Gizelle credits this role reversal to the cheating rumors. While Wendy is making her way upstairs, production is leading us to believe that she is going to walk in on this conversation. Gizelle not-so-innocently wants to know if Wendy likes the servant quarters for the lesser.
Candiace brings all the lady’s robes and swim caps. Gizelle is planning water aerobics for the group. Will those stovepipe legs come in handy since she cannot swim according to her girls? In her ITM, Karen thinks those classes are for old a*s people and she is aging gracefully. She is not swimming with Satan the shark since she does not want her hair messed up before her big day.
The ladies head out to dinner and some of them are overdressed for this rather ordinary restaurant. Wendy looks like she is dressed for the club or meeting up with a paying client. I am now hyper-focused on those chocolate espresso martinis!
Candiace discusses how her gender roles have been reversed since Chris is managing her. She pays him in love and affection. Candiace shares with the ladies what Dorothy thinks about this arrangement. She thinks her son-in-law is a mooch. Gizelle thinks that Chris is riding Candiace’s little itty-bitty coattails. She thinks that he is trying to be the Kris Jenner in their relationship. Gizelle wonders aloud if Candiace will grow to resent him if he does not match her ambition.
Robyn shares with the other ladies how she has been feeling. She shares how Juan is not attracted to the unmotivated lazy person she has become. Gizelle tells Robyn no man wants to marry “unattractive.” She is such a superficial woman and thinks you can hang on to a man if you keep your looks. How did that work out for you, Gizelle? Robyn has not made any changes to her behavior and is obviously in a slump. Karen cannot believe that Gizelle’s not supporting her BFF and trying to lift her up.
Gizelle wants to know if she is neglecting her children. Robyn admits the kids are not doing well in school, and if that is not a big red flag, I don’t know what is. Askale inquires if she believes she is depressed. Robyn’s personality does not like structure nor does it respect time. She thinks she has seasonal depression.
Wendy must change the conversation to her boobs. She comments that they are growing since she is eating too much. Wendy then reluctantly admits she is overwhelmed and struggling too.
Gizelle questions Wendy about her new and improved sexy image. Wendy will not let her image take away from her accolades. Robyn thinks her personality has changed with her new body. Wendy asserts that she needed a touch-up since she was postpartum. She will not let the other ladies dictate to her what her identity should be. Robyn does not remember meeting this “drop it like it’s hot” Wendy last year. Gizelle, with that evil glint in her green eyes, cannot wait to spill to the other ladies about the cheating rumors.
In her ITM, Candiace wants to know why “Tweedle and Twaddle” are coming for Wendy. She cannot see that Wendy has jumped the bandits’ sinking ship and is pulling herself up on Karen’s lifeboat.
Mia chimes in when Wendy adamantly refuses to be put in a box. Wendy believes she can be a booty popping professor. Mia uses the examples of Michelle Obama and Oprah, who are both incredibly strong women who do not have to flaunt their bodies to be acknowledged. I am sorry, Mia, but I would NEVER put Dr. Wendy with the four degrees in the category with those two very accomplished ladies. Wendy tries to cover her blatant animosity for Mia, but she is failing badly.
Askale, with production prodding, wants to know about Gizelle’s relationship with Jamal. Gizelle refuses to share this private information when there are trolls at the table. She then outs Karen as a liar and a troll. Gizelle will not share her bullsh*t relationship because she does not want our Potomac Queen to pull out Monique’s burn book.
Robyn tries to cover up her true feelings about Wendy’s transformation by saying she was attractive before the reconstruction. She did not need to do all of that work since she was already a beautiful woman. Wendy, in her ITM, thinks her left implant has more substance than Gizelle. She will not take advice from the green-eyed doormats. ME EITHER!
Candiace is practicing her moves for her music video. She wants to be taken seriously as an artist. You have to give it to Candiace, she doesn’t have issues with confidence and thinks she will become a superstar. What does Nicki Minaj think about our RHOP songstress’s career options?
Wendy and Karen chat about missing her babies. She is covered up now in a sweater. Karen thinks she is toning it down since Gizelle called her out. She wants Wendy to let her freak flag fly. Karen wants Gizelle and her fat vagina to mind her own business. Wendy gets emotional over what Gizelle said about her transformation. She is obviously not as comfortable in her skin nor her marriage as she claims…
Next week, we get to do water aerobics, and Robyn gets confronted about her relationship again with Juan. Wendy gets upset with Ashley when Gizelle has her do her bidding. She then goes after Gizelle for trying to tarnish her family’s reputation. Have a super week, everyone, and see you tomorrow night for RHONY!
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