This week, The Real Housewives of New York City is heading to the Hamptons again?!? Let’s watch one more episode before the finale and hope next season Bravo will remove the messy rubble (Leah) of Season 13 and go back to the good old days, shall we?
This episode is a lot of fluff, but we find out at the end we are almost at the finish line of this disastrous season! There are rumors on the horizon about Leah and Sonja being shown the door and Tins and Bethenny returning to NYC. Eboni is being held harmless despite the backlash from the viewers who believe that the show was ruined by Leah and Eboni.
Bravo has done even more damage to this show than they did to RHOC by messing with a formula that was tried and tested. Don’t they know you don’t fix something that isn’t broken? Sorry, I digress, let’s move on!
Ramona calls her stomach tiramisu, and she must resort to working off those pounds we all put on during the pandemic. Across town in the moldiest townhome in NYC, Sonja is wearing a white coat with no pants and wading in the fish pond. She has her faithful assistant/snatchguard Emma helping, but at what expense to her psyche? Can that poor young woman unsee the horrors she has seen? Emma will suffer from PTSD for years after living with Sonja and suffering in silence while Sonja was making poop soup and doing their laundry in the bidet.
Leah’s parents, Bunny and Bryan, and her not-so-hot brother, Danny, come over for dinner. Thank God we are not subjected to the Ring girl, Sarah! Leah is having a Kosher dinner for them so she can pretend she is taking this conversion seriously. I will need some help from my readers who are Jewish, but I thought I saw pork ribs on that table? Isn’t that a big no-no?
Leah describes how she is doing her conversion by herself and acknowledges that there are a lot of naysayers. She then decides to share that she got a book deal! Leah is ghostwriting a memoir, which is basically an anti-self-help book. WTF, another Housewife book — as if we didn’t have enough of them already that are collecting dust on the shelves!
Bunny thinks that Leah could have been so much more if she didn’t get into drugs and alcohol. She thinks her life was robbed by her behavior and but in actuality she suffered from her arrested development. Leah is proud of her rave scenes and her presence at the Limelight and the Tunnel.
Leah acts like the only thing she missed was going to Harvard and being a star athlete. She sees herself as Ivy League material. Sure, darling delusional Leah could have been a javelin thrower since she showed her mad skills while throwing those tiki torches at Ramona’s house. I could imagine Leah as a Harvard scholar if she wasn’t like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz who wished he had a brain!
Bunny tells Leah she needs constant affirmation about how pretty she looks. Leah feels all Bunny does is criticize her. Bunny thinks that Leah is addicted to plastic surgery and clearly doesn’t approve. She has had a nose job, a boob job, and fat injected into her butt. Leah, in her ITM, thinks that she should blame Bunny for her low self-esteem.
Ramona is practicing the questions on the real estate course. She credits Eboni for encouraging her to take her time studying for the exam. Ramona then gets a call from Sonja and she has some bad news. Sonja shares with Ramona that she did a test for COVID, and she and her intern Emma have tested positive.
Two weeks later, while RHONY was shut down due to the outbreak of COVID among the cast and crew, Eboni shares that one of the three brothers the genetic detective found is her dad. Her dad’s name is Jude, and it was confirmed by DNA. Eboni leaves him a message to call her since he didn’t pick up the phone. She is hopeful that he hears the pureness of her intentions in the voicemail.
Sonja shares how Ramona was concerned about her while she was sick and was going to send her an ambulance due to her running a fever. She received flowers from Ramona, which look a little droopy from all the moisture in the townhome. Leah and Eboni both came over with some supplements to boost her immune system. Ramona decides it is a good idea to take Sonja away to the Hamptons to get a little pampering after being sick.
Luann is packing for the Hamptons, and she is looking forward to getting out of town. Ramona has planned a Galentine’s party since none of them have a beau, but they are all cast on the Real Housewives!
Luann calls Sonja, who tells her that she was dying and so sick she needed an inhaler. She likens herself to Harry Dubin, who must use an inhaler during sex. I sure hope for the sake of the ladies in NYC that Harry is double-bagging that penis since it has been literally in and out of most of our NY ladies.
Luann then overhears Sonja talking smack about her and Ramona when she doesn’t properly disconnect the call. Luann isn’t buying that Sonja doesn’t drink at home. She can hear her having a rambling monologue of nonsensical gibberish peppered with drunk speak.
Eboni and Leah pick up Sonja and we witness Sonja’s long-suffering intern Emma dragging all her suitcases through the snow. Poor Emma even gets blamed since Sonja is late. Leah is already trying to negotiate what rooms she gets. She is using her grandma as her bargaining chip since it will trigger her to sleep in the same room as last time. Leah, our petulant teenager, gets her way since no one wants to poke the bear and have her freak out on them.
Eboni pretends like she is glad that Bershan was invited. She thinks she needs to spend more time with the other ladies so she can get better acquainted.