This week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac is titled “Ambush in Paradise.” Robyn, our combatant, does a sneak attack on her target Candiace in this episode. Hold onto your wigs so they do not shift, and let us watch the dramatic warfare.
Gizelle is the first one ready for the party, but it seems like only the crickets are ready. Karen walks in for her non-birthday dinner party. Jacqueline comes down to give some instructions since Mia is throwing a tantrum under the weather. Robyn joins the group in a cute white jumpsuit, and it is really shocking that she does not look fashionably challenged for once. Mia decides to grace us with her presence, but she petulantly wears something that is not all white. She has such an air of superiority to the others, and I would like a dose of her confidence potion since this chick lives in an alternate universe. Mia sees herself as the hostess with the mostess, but she could be the worst host in Potomac history.
The ladies decide to share some funny Karen stories, and the wig shift is my personal favorite. Gordon as the tongue depressor I could have done without since it makes my skin crawl. Mia/Bravo has arranged fire-eating performers, and Karen is finding it to be very sensual. She needs to call Ray since she is turned on, and the slow-motion camera views of Karen as she is grooving to the show are hilarious.
Wendy, who is still holed up in her “suite,” is happy not to join Mia and her size 14 shoes. She is going to enjoy her time away by grading papers. Wendy pretends that she is not peeved that she is not getting camera time by not being included in the festivities.
Ashley asks Candiace about Chris’ angry tweets which they take as threatening. Candiace thinks Gizelle with her rolling neck (LOL) armed with a dusty vagina (OMG) will never be able to get her husband’s attention
unless he brings some Pledge. Charrisse brings up that there is confrontation every time they get together. Hello, Charrisse, do you remember what show you signed up for??? Candiace clearly does not want to listen to Mia’s representative Jacqueline. She acts like she is some random woman who stumbled into their house and started interjecting herself into the conversation.
Two hours later, Candiace goes on Instagram Live and bashes the whole group, so you know the night is going to get stormy and dangerous. Candiace and Charrisse chat about the accusations against Chris. She is annoyed with Ashley and her fake divorce and wants her to keep her mouth shut. Candiace thinks it is a scam and is waiting to hear the next lie. She wants Wendy to come back since she does not want to be stuck with “Forehead.” Side Note: Say whatever you want about Candiace, but that girl’s reads can cut someone to the core just using her words. Candiace could do a stand-up act with her reads, and the less vicious ones would be hilarious.
Mia is taking Karen, Gizelle, and Jacqueline out for Karen’s birthday, and they will be driving some Lamborghinis. Karen is not able to even put it in drive and use her feet to hit the pedal. Gizelle is driving without hands, so what possibly could go wrong in South Beach with all that traffic? Well, the cars are gorgeous to look at, and they manage to have some fun without any drama.
The rest of the ladies are going on a boat ride, but they will need to paddle for themselves. Candiace wants to invite Wendy to come on the boat with them since Mia is not joining them. Wendy is going to join them, but I am sure she did not expect to be served Wawa sandwiches and a drink in a plastic orange cup. Robyn gets asked about her wedding plans, but SHE will not disclose any details — with people who do not like her. Wendy, she is talking to you, darling!
Back at the house, Robyn, while pooping (gross oversharing), came across the video that Candiace made where she bashed them all as being fake and untrustworthy. Candiace says they are all panhandling their businesses. Robyn is upset since she defended Chris when the others did not. Mia starts sharing more about her relationship with Jacqueline. She shared an ex-lover with Jacqueline, and it is still hard to believe that Gordon has not been shared too.
Ashley decides to come to dinner in a body suit with stockings combo, which clearly shows her goods and the lengths she will go to get attention drawn to her body. Candiace wants to invite Wendy to dinner, but Mia shuts that down. They are dining at Santorini, which is a Greek restaurant where they throw plates on the ground, and it is permitted to do so! Production made a great choice with this restaurant! Ashley goes outside and calls Wendy to invite her, and when she tells Mia what she has done, she calls Ashley a disrespectful little brat.
The group is clearly divided on this issue, but the bandits defend Mia, saying Ashley should not plan for the group. Okay, then why are they letting Mia do the same thing? We all know this is really a trip paid for by production based upon those lame cabana tents on the beach. Ashley calls Mia a bully, and then Wendy strolls in. Mia is being pulled close to Gizelle so she does not launch from her patio chair.
Wendy immediately launches into her accountability speech, and she apologizes for her words that escalated the evening. She clearly has rehearsed this in front of her bathroom mirror so she can appear to be repentant. Mia pretends that Wendy is not directing her apology to her since she clearly cannot get Wendy out from under her skin.
Robyn (who looks like she is wearing a Rainbow Brite dress in her ITM) whips out her Bluetooth speaker to Karen’s delight. She has something insightful to share with the group. Karen is impressed that Robyn has mastered the use of the video button on her phone and can pair a Bluetooth speaker! We now get to see Candiace’s video that she made where she calls these b*tches fake and not loyal.
Candiace starts spouting African proverbs with, “I said what I said,” and she doubles down on her claims. She is furious that Robyn — who she thought was her only friend — is the one who ambushed her with this video in front of everyone. Candiace cannot believe a so-called friend would go to these lengths to shame her. Wendy must interject that her professor self has never been a panhandler. Gizelle is thrilled that Robyn was pooping and surfing at the same time and discovered this video.
Candiace then tells Ashley that she is shady and mean. She makes sure to tell Karen that she was not including her in her tirade. Ashley then tells Karen that Candiace has been saying that she has been sleeping with other men. Candiace then immediately cries and denies it, and production rolls the tape to show she did in fact insinuate that. Karen shows the most honest emotion by looking blindsided and devastated that Candiace would say that about her. She storms away from the worst birthday ever and heads to the bathroom to maybe do some pooping and surfing of her own!
Karen returns to the table and demands a recap of what was said when she was in the loo. She wants a copy of the dossier with pictures, telephone numbers, and interviews with the alleged parties. Candiace continues to deny she ever said this, and you can see Karen warily trying to believe her. Karen orders them to never come after her institution again. The rain is now starting, and Gizelle must use her napkin to keep her dry, but it might help with her, ahem, dust issue.
Candiace and the PYTs — minus Gizelle who is 39,000 years old — decide it is a good idea to go to a nightclub and continue drinking. She says they all make amends in the club, and she believes they can come back from this mess. We are now four hours later after lots of shots, and Robyn, Candiace, and Ashley (who is recording) rehash what happened. Candiace is not letting Robyn off the hook, and I am wondering how were they able to film more episodes with all of this division?
We are then treated to the mid-season trailer when Karen shares that Juan’s sidepiece looks like her. Charrisse proclaims that Karen likes to f*ck the help, and they have a scuffle. Jacqueline and Mia’s relationship implodes when it is shared that Gordon likes to watch Mia have sex with others. Candiace shares her music video featuring Trina, which looks pretty good. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, and I will see you next week in Potomac to observe the battle scars from the emotional warfare of this cast trip!
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