Are you all ready for some “Coffee Talk” on the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Grab an espresso martini and let’s kiki, shall we?
Dolores and Paul are discussing his healing process. Paul is feeling good and horny warns Dolores to hold onto her drawers. He wants Dolores to dress up as a hot nurse, but she is not having it. Dolores is clearly happy with Paul, but she does have a type. Let us hope that Paul will be a better version of Frank and at least not be a cheater.
Dolores shares with Paul what happened with Frank and his temper tantrum over Dolores pulling away from him. She reminds him that he is close to his ex-wife as well. Dolores realizes that most people including us do not understand their relationship. Paul thinks Frank made a huge mistake 25 years ago and is now realizing it. Dolores thinks Frank hates change especially when Dolores is no longer dependent on him. She shares that she is having lunch with Jennifer to rehash everything. Dolores wants to jump off the hamster wheel, and she believes that Jennifer is having marital troubles and needs someone to film with.
Rachel admits that she is over-the-top with little Gigi since she is type A. She shares that she comes from corporate, but John came from the streets, so they both bring different things to the table for their businesses. Rachel has her mom helping and a housekeeper to help with her adorable little ones. She admits she wants more kids, but Jaiden is not happy about it.
Rachel wants to adopt Jaiden, but there is a process where his biological mom needs to be contacted. John has full custody of Jaiden but will need to consult with her about adoption. Rachel had awkward interactions with Jaiden’s biological mom in the past. She feels like she earned the title of mom of Jaiden.
Jennifer and Dolores are having a pow-wow to mend their differences. She shares that she resented her close friendship with Marge and her choice to jump ship where it had better arsenal loaded on it. Jennifer admits that she should have had the guts to go directly to Dolores. They both agree to be better communicators and let each other know directly if there is something troubling each other. Dolores mentions she is worried about her and Bill. Jennifer is tired of Bill scolding her over how she raises the kids. She pouts over Bill spending so much time in the pool house. Jennifer is tired of catering to Bill, and as she gets older she realizes that she does not want to take it anymore. She thinks that the ladies need to get together and have their futures read with Turkish tea leaves.
Melissa and Antonia are touring the construction site for their new home. Joe wants to show off Antonia’s room, which has a huge walk in shower. Melissa does not want to live in another Disney Princess house like her sister-in-law. She is critiquing the house and nitpicking. Melissa will be hosting a pop-up event for Danielle at Envy for her line of kids clothing. Joe then delivers some piping hot tea, telling us that Dina is not coming to the wedding — because Louie screwed her husband over, and NOT because Dina did not want to be on camera. He then calls it another pizzagate 2.0. Side note: Teresa said that Dina did not want to be filmed, but we now hear that her husband was screwed over by Louie, aka Dirty John 2.0. I knew that there was more behind Dina not coming to the wedding.
Danielle gets a call from Teresa, who sounds sick. Teresa tested positive for COVID, so we will be gifted with an episode without Tre. Teresa mentions that Louie was boo-hoo crying after talking to Melissa and Joe, and he was blathering on about his own sisters. Danielle mentions how upset she was with Rachel. She thinks that Rachel is a catty snotty little b*tch. Danielle hates that they upset her, and she is annoyed she let them affect her. She has already walked away twice because she is all bark with no bite.
Dolores and Jennifer are having the Turkish tea reading party at Paul’s house. Jen F. feels a Fifty Shades of Gray vibe in this place. Margaret, Melissa, and Rachel, who looks pretty dressed in a white dress, join the party, and they are all high fiving Dolores over having the luck of the Irish scoring Paul and his pot of gold. Melissa commends Dolores over getting her men to build her houses since her guy just pretends to wearing his itty-bitty tool belt. Danielle, bougie Barbie, comes for her vindication day. Marge does not believe that Dolores is truly trying to befriend Jennifer. She thinks it is better to keep Jennifer on a leash to prevent her from attacking others.
Dolores and Jennifer share that Teresa called and asked them to be bridesmaids. She was meditating and decided to pick them for the wedding after the other bridesmaids were dropping like flies, seeing them in a vision Louie told her about. Dina must be hiding out in California to escape that clown show of a wedding. She cannot watch her Tre turn into Marge Simpson Jersey style and marry Krusty the Clown. Melissa looks like she ate a lemon and reminds Dolores about her lack of invite to the engagement party. Dolores, in her ITM, was not invited to the engagement party, but it was most likely because Dina was present.
Dolores wants to plan a trip to Ireland and make it for Tre’s bachelorette party. She is picking the perfect place since it is a gorgeous country. Dolores has a ring in her future according to the tea reader. Rachel has a big V in her future, and she shares that she is trying to adopt Jaiden, which would be a victory. Margaret has a friend with the letter “L” in it and a knife in her back. No one believes this sh*t came from tea leaves — except Jennifer who fed this woman all of this intel.
Jennifer then gets her reading and is told that her husband loves her. She is definitely all about family and wants to spend as much time as she possibly can with family. Jennifer is told that that she has endorsements coming her way. In her ITM, Marge comes up with some good snark, saying the only endorsement Jennifer is offered is from Charmin — to stock her 16 bathrooms with toilet paper. Jackie cannot stop herself from laughing at the absurdity of this reading.
Danielle gets her reading next and gets a surprising revelation — NOT! She’s told, “There is conflict between you and your brother, and I see him in a wedding but I don’t see you.” She then elaborates with that they are both hurt, but her brother will get over his anger in time.
Danielle tells the other ladies that they spoke to her in a manner that made her feel that they found her story to have more holes than Swiss cheese. She then claims she never walks away from confrontation, but they blindsided her when they questioned her story. Danielle then tells Rachel that she tossed her to the she-wolves by telling them everything they discussed about them on their shopping trip. Margaret is tired of listening to this arsenal of secrets story and she wished she had a cocktail — since this is conversation is making her sweat from her tw*t. This comment made me lose my buzz and ????…
What was the best thing about this episode? Teresa only appeared in a tiny cellphone screen blowing snot into a tissue! I was so glad to hear what was behind the Dina story since I knew Tre was not telling the truth. Please reach out to me at [email protected] if you are interested in guest hosting with me on the RB podcast. Take care, everyone ????.
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