So, let’s just say the peaches of Atlanta aren’t off to the juiciest of starts. That’s my diplomatic way of saying that the second episode of the 10th season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta was a little dull. The main issue was that far too much time and attention was given to Shamea. Oh, I’m sorry. Shamea who, you ask? She’s Porsha’s friend, who was added on last season to bring…well, I’m not sure what she was meant to bring to the show. Suffice it to say, it wasn’t enough.
Anyway, much of tonight’s episode was spent at her wedding shower. Porsha, Kandi, and Sheree came to support their friend, and celebrate her upcoming nuptials. Porsha announced that she wouldn’t be attending the actual ceremony because it’s in Kenya (the country, not the Housewife), and she claims to “have a condition” called Vasovagal Syncope (low blood pressure) that would make sitting in coach (gasp!) with “her legs down” for such a long period of time, difficult. Besides, as Kandi’s assistant and friend Carmon quipped (rather loudly, considering they were at the same table), Porsha is “used to having her legs up”. Kandi thoroughly enjoyed this, of course, since she and Porsha are still on rather icy terms after the latter accused the former of planning to drug and rape her last season.
After a few
vulgar lighthearted party games, including something called “Weiner in the Hole” that you can figure out the particulars of for yourselves, as I’d like to forget I ever saw it, Shamea and Porsha took their argument outside, where they loudly accused each other of a host of disloyalties and breaches of friend code, which only ended when Porsha’s sister Lauren insisted she needed to get home to her baby, and Shamea flounced off. Again, I know…Shamea who? But apparently she’ll be around for at least a little while.
The other ladies all seem to be concentrating on their new beginnings. Kandi, as always is working around the clock with her various businesses, and everything appears copacetic on the home front. We also saw Cynthia coming to terms with her daughter Noelle growing up, and dating after her divorce from Peter. And for some reason, Cynthia has no issue with sending her underage daughter off to go spend a weekend with her boyfriend. When it comes to dating, Cynthia was clearly uninterested in poor Evan, whom she had out been with a few times, but failed to impress her with the surprise photo shoot he planned when she came to have dinner with him at his studio. Good job Evan on getting free promo for your studio! But really, how could she possibly be impressed? He’s a photographer and she’s been modeling for 30 years. What’s the surprise? ‘Hey, let’s do what we both do for a living, but not get paid!’ Really?! But we mustn’t be too hard on Evan. After all, he’s 20 years younger than Cynthia, a mere babe in the woods. Our girl, Cynthia wasn’t shy about letting him know how she felt, either. When they finally did sit down to dinner, Cynthia toasted to “me not falling for you; and you not falling for me”. Ouch! But best not to leave young Evan hanging. Boy bye! We hardly knew thee. Cynthia is a fierce and fabulous 50 year old woman. She’s good, and eventually she’ll find love again. I mean, if Kenya can, she can, right? But DID Kenya find love?
Many are claiming that Kenya’s new marriage is a sham. And it is true that we haven’t seen him yet, and none of the women, bff Cynthia, included, were invited to the wedding, or have even met the man. But Kenya insists she’s head over heels in love with this dream husband of hers, and as NeNe would say, if she likes it, we love it. We’ve seen some pictures of Kenya’s big day. And tonight we were treated to her twirling around in her closet, with her veil on, holding up her dress, and regaling her dogs with tales about how wonderful the wedding was (they weren’t invited, either) and what a beautiful bride she was. When her friend called, she told him there were still bits of sand in her dress from reenacting the “Drunk in Love” video with her groom on the beach (as those of you who have been watching the show for the past few seasons are aware, one of Kenya’s personalities thinks it’s Beyonce).
The conversation eventually turned to Kenya’s many doubters and haters. At that point she ended the discussion, and called for one of the producers to come in. We hear her crying hysterically, behind the closed door, about not wanting to get divorced. Divorced?! She was just laughing and twirling and reminiscing! Hello, mood swing! Ooh… Maybe a pregnancy is next? Anyway, ALL of Kenya’s personalities love drama and attention. And so it went, with her bemoaning the pitfalls of a reality show marriage. Her new hubby isn’t comfortable in the spotlight, his mother and others in his life disapprove, his ex girlfriends are sending him stories about Kenya’s past. He also lives in New York, so who knows if, or when, we viewers will meet this Prince Charming? But there’s clearly already some trouble brewing in Moore Manor.
Over at Chateau Sheree, on the other hand, we find the lady of the house reflecting on her past marriage. We learned last season that not only was Sheree’s ex husband, Bob, verbally and physically abusive during their marriage, he’s also completely unrepentant about it. While he was supposedly trying to get back together with her, he even joked about choking her. Sheree is now trying to move on, and heal herself and her family, particularly her three children. She hasn’t spoken to her children about the abuse, and sees a life coach, named Jack Daniels (I won’t touch that one. It’s too easy, and besides, the poor guy’s probably been through enough), to figure out just how to have the conversation with them. This is certainly serious subject matter, and Sheree DOES need to discuss this with her kids, but let’s be real….they already know. Someone may want to inform Sheree that her kids are adults, who have likely seen the show, and are more than capable of reading tabloid headlines or doing a google search. But an honest conversation with their mother is probably much needed, and will go a long way toward them understanding both of their parents, and what went wrong in their marriage.
So all in all, what have we learned kiddos? Well, a lot, actually. We learned that you can sit with your legs in the air when you’re in first class. We learned that younger guys pick stupid date nights. We learned that sensitive family matters should be discussed within the family BEFORE they’re discussed in front of millions. And most importantly, we learned that Sheree should NOT be wearing that white/ silver wig she’s been wearing during the confessional interviews…It makes her look like Storm’s mother. What we didn’t learn was what was up in the queen bee’s little corner of the world, as NeNe was conspicuously absent from tonight’s episode. Let’s just hope she comes back soon. Otherwise, we may just see more of Shamea to fill in the gaps, and really, no one wants that. I know. I know. Shamea who?
TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS RECAP AND THE LATEST EPISODE OF RHOA?