Welcome back to the Real Housewives of Potomac! Let’s see what our ladies have been up to after the tumultuous season five and meet our new housewife. Let’s see how she will gel with this feisty group of ladies, shall we?
We begin season six with our RHOP ladies, and they are asked to describe how last season was with one word. Gizelle calls it toxic — yep, sure was, and your ex was a toxic trick too. Wendy says that last season you never knew who was plotting behind your back. That is also a true statement because who knew what little goodies were to be shared from Monique’s glorious binder.
I can tell you one thing: I am really missing my favorite RHOP house husband, Chris Samuels, and R.I.P. to our dearly departed T’Challa. Please give me a moment to mourn the loss but the show must go on.
We now get their new taglines. Gizelle: “The secret to this pretty face is staying in the shade.” Darling, you are spending too much time there and need to get out more. Mia says, “If you want to pop I’ll be happy to get you adjusted.” Okay, good chiropractic quip. Robyn will keep you waiting but she is worth it. If only Juan believed that. Ashley says, “The only thing messier than two boys is me.” Dear Ashley, you can definitely get down in the dirt with the best of them.
Candiace’s blessings are many but her patience is none. I would agree with that tagline for our little spitfire Candiace. Wendy, of course, talks about curves, which we will get into later. Our Grande Dame Karen can never be duplicated, imitated, or intimidated. My darling Karen, you are most definitely one of a kind and I am here for it.
Eddie filmed Wendy’s provocative invite to our ladies for a “nude interlude” party, which includes two surprises. You go, girl, and you look fantastic. But you will find out later on that she has copied another housewife from RHOA who has named her new enhancements as well.
Robyn and Juan are building a new home, and I sure hope that she finally paid the IRS. Candiace bought a new home for 1.1 million dollars after selling their old townhome. Are they keeping their hands out of Dorothy’s purse now? You know that purse can be a weapon if you piss her off, right?
Ashley, with another baby on board, and Michael are still together. UGH, sigh, but the happier news is that baby Dean is 18 months old now and looks a little less like his Lothario father. Ashley is due in 10 days and it is crazy that this is how she started her season. She is raving about what a fantastic dad Michael is. At least he is good in some aspects of their relationship.
Ashley mentions that they haven’t had sex for four months and she has concerns over Michael’s past
or present infidelity. Michael claims to be in a family place now. He putters around the room so he doesn’t have to make eye contact with Ashley and she won’t see his cheating heart.
Gizelle visits Candiace’s new home and she meets Chris’s daughter, Naia, and his son, Mateo. These poor kids look really uncomfortable with the cameras but glad to hear they will only have to tolerate them for a month.
Gizelle shades Candiace in her ITM and says that she is thankful that she has kept her hands out of her mama’s purse this time. Dorothy has a room with a lifesize cutout of herself. She loves to sleep with her cutout staring at her. We can all see why Candiace turned out the way she did with Dorothy as her mama.
Candiace mentions her MBA program at Howard and she is in her second semester. I thought she was close to finishing that last season? Chris walks in and brings the ladies a beautiful fruit platter like you would expect a butler to do. He is doing some online cooking course and playing golf. How can they afford this home? Is Dorothy paying them rent to display her cutout in their home?
Candiace asks Gizelle about Pastor Holy whore Jamal Bryant. Gizelle claims the pandemic made them distant. Sure, that is the reason — it is more truthful to say that his semen cup has runneth over with too many blessings
trixies on the side. In her ITM, Candiace says she doesn’t believe COVID has kept them apart and it was more about what Monique shared at the last reunion. Production gloriously shows how Gizelle was outed to be a fool and was shamed by Monique’s burn book over her ridiculous sham of a relationship. Gizelle, still fuming, closes the scene with, “F Karen and everything she has said.”
Karen, who I love, and Ray are chatting about their vow renewal. She decides to call it a “so nice we had to do it twice” service. Let’s hope their vow renewal doesn’t succumb to the housewife curse. Ray wants to keep it small and intimate but Karen isn’t considering that. Karen tells Ray she doesn’t see any potential in a relationship with Gizelle. She shades Gizelle in her ITM and says that at least her guy lives outside her phone.
We now have dueling conversations between Gizelle and Karen. Gizelle says that Karen has been lying about her for a year and she now wants to spill her secrets. Hmm, wonder what she has uncovered because we know her detective skills are nonexistent since she can’t properly account for Jamal’s actions.
Karen thinks Gizelle’s anger is misdirected. She wants her to check her mirror and see where her cracks are. Karen gets the sexy invite to Wendy’s party. Ray wants to watch it again with his magnifiers on. Ashely gets her text invite now, and she tells baby Dean to close his eyes, and he does. Too cute. Robyn is unsure of what she is seeing. Well, nothing has changed with our clueless Robyn, has it?
Wendy has decided to succumb to the RH pressure to look perfect and purchased herself a new set of boobies. She loves her new additions but won’t admit in her ITM what else she has had done. Wendy obviously also had a tummy tuck since she just showed us her scars.
Robyn then gets asked by the producer, “When are you getting married?” She blames the pandemic for not getting married now. Those green-eyed bandits are definitely on the same page this season sticking to that ridiculous cover story
Robyn and Juan are talking about their life during the pandemic. Juan claims Robyn doesn’t get out of bed until 10 a.m. and doesn’t accomplish anything till after 2 p.m. Juan is saying that is a turnoff to him. Robyn is feeding their kids Chick-fil-A and he doesn’t think it is a healthy choice. She is obviously depressed and she is shutting down as a result.
Juan would have liked to have another child — preferably a little girl. Robyn’s biological clock is ticking, but she already lacks the motivation to care for her own kids let alone a newborn. Move on, Bravo, from this tired storyline and from trying to make Robyn happen.
Chris and Candiace are playing house with his kids. Candiace is trying to help Naia with her homework, but she is struggling with the math question. Isn’t she getting an MBA from Brown? Mateo is a little genius and is able to answer the question. Candiace credits Mateo for helping her become a better step-parent.
Chris and Candiace get asked by the producer if they foresee more kids in their future. Candiace doesn’t trust penises. Well, that storyline isn’t going to happen if they won’t unsheathe his brown penis, will it?
Wendy is looking good and I love her hair this season. Eddie still looks really good, but I am hearing that their relationship might not be all that it was portrayed to be. Wendy offers her boys some tittie cupcakes and all they see and taste is chocolate. You have to love the innocence of youth.
Gizelle arrives and is way off with her outfit color. Robyn at least got the color scheme correct, but that isn’t really saying much. Gizelle is checking out the place cards to see where they are all sitting. She spies a card for Mia and acts like she doesn’t know that there is a new housewife.
We then get introduced to our new housewife, Mia, who is riding over with Karen. Mia is a boss according to Karen. Karen warns Mia that Gizelle doesn’t accept the younger housewives too well. Mia is a pretty woman, so there are going to be some jelly ladies for sure.
Karen shares that she and Wendy have had a friendship reset. They have buried the gauntlet for now and clearly have created an alliance this season.
Ashley arrives and Wendy finally makes an appearance. Candiace isn’t coming since she isn’t feeling well. Robyn thinks that she isn’t coming because of her fractured relationship with Karen.
Karen and Mia arrive at the nude interlude party. Gizelle expects Karen to approach her with an apology. Darling, our Grande Dame is not going to beg for your forgiveness. Not going to happen.
Mia and her rich hubby own the Joint Chiropractic clinic. She has three children, four grandchildren, and a hubby who is 32 years older than her. Mia does have some issues along with some of the others with basic addition and subtraction.
Wendy shares why she called this party a nude interlude and she goes on and on about why she got her body revamped. She has named them Happy-ness and she admits to a few tweaks. Robyn thinks that she got some butt implants too. Karen thinks she has tweaked a few things on her face as well.
Wendy very shadily says that Mia has had a lot of work done. Mia is a fan of plastic surgery on steroids and she seems like she might be a fun addition to this group. She had her boobs done, her lips done, Botox, a tummy tuck, butt implants, and some clit work too. Wendy wants to know in her ITM, “Who has been smashing her CC?”
Karen asks about Candiace, and Robyn interjects and says, “She is not here because of you.” Ashley doesn’t think that she and Candiace are copacetic either. Gizelle announces that she can’t stand Karen and calls her a broke drunk. Karen says that Gizelle has a hot box and Gizelle thinks Karen is jealous of her WAP.
Gizelle and Karen are now throwing some shade-grenades at each other. She says Ray’s ding dong doesn’t work, and Karen tells Gizelle that Jamal’s ding dong is stuck inside vaginas and just can’t get out. We hear Karen shout out that Gizelle is a broken whore from Hampton University. We then get a to-be-continued… Well, they made us wait till the end of the episode in order to get to the hot stuff.
Next week, we learn more about Mia and her past. The other ladies’ marriages are experiencing some troubled waters. I hope you all enjoyed this opening episode, and let me know what you think about Mia. Be well, my fellow Blurbers!
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