This week, we are taking the Real Housewives of Potomac on a trip to join the “Sisterhood of the Traveling Beefs.”
You will get the sense throughout this episode that you have just walked into a full-blown argument and have no idea what is truly behind the discord. Let us decipher this messy episode that Bravo has produced for us, shall we?
Karen is wishing for peace and no wig yanking for Ashley’s birthday trip to Mexico. She and Ashley are co-hosting the trip, and the rest of the group already looks like they just got sentenced to “camp” with Teresa Giudice. Karen and Ashley are allegedly taking Wendy with them since she seems to be the most involved in the messy stuff. I am not a Wendy fan, BUT she is not the messy pigpen in this group!
Gizelle and Robyn are chatting about her biopsy. They are discussing Gizelle’s fibroids, and she needs her uterus removed. Robyn, who clearly has no filter, casually says it is like “clipping off the pieces,” and my nether regions recoiled at that insensitive comment. Gizelle is not used to being the one who needs medical attention. She will not let this stop her from earning coin by going to Mexico living her life.
Robyn and Gizelle then bash Karen’s live show by calling it confusing and not understanding why Charrisse was not invited. They think Karen is perturbed that Charrisse shared Mia and Karen’s “booby bopping” video. Karen seems to be more annoyed that her breasts are called titties and finds that to be so gauche. Gizelle, who is clearly the pot stirrer, wants to find the underlying cause of why Cha Cha and the Grande Dame are feuding.
Robyn and Juan decide to talk to Corey and Carter about the wedding, and the boys do not even look convinced! They have a tailor coming over to get them fitted for a suit. In Robyn’s ITM, a producer asks Robyn if her parents are OK with not being invited to their wedding. She says her dad will not be upset, but there will be some hurt feelings on her mom’s side. The boys want them to go to Jamaica, but Robyn wants to do Chesapeake Bay. Robyn wants to get married in July, and I can already see Juan is sweating. Side note: Juan is dealing with a lot now with this sexual assault lawsuit where a player claims he did not intervene when he was being targeted by another coach.
Mia and Gordon are chatting about their new franchise locations. We now know they are having business troubles, so listening to Mia pontificate about how successful they are at this point is interesting. Mia wants Gordon to go to one of the kids’ functions, but he wants to just sit in the car and look for matches on Ashley Madison. She mentions that Jacqueline wants Mia to find a nanny for her kids, but Jacqueline’s sister works for Mia. Jacqueline usually leaves her kids at Mia’s house, but Mia feels like she is being used by Jacqueline always expecting her own sister to watch her kids too. Side note: Mia is clearly not happy with Jacqueline getting all this attention this season. I do not understand why a friend who claims to be like a sister would feel used by watching said friends’ kids too.
Ashley, Karen, and Wendy arrive in Mexico before the rest of the crew. She has planned a trip to a cenote. They stay at the Sensira Hotel, which gets 4.5 stars on Tripadvisor! Production keeps going back and forth between the two groups, and we see the tides are swirling and the waves are getting rough. It looks like a hurricane is coming to Mexico in the form of a sprinter van.
On the plane, Jacqueline and Mia were screaming about how they mother their children. I love the paper doll imagery that production shows us to depict the argument between Mia and Jacqueline. Mia is annoyed that Jacqueline’s kids have somehow become her responsibility. She is pissed that Jacqueline said Mia had no one in the village to step up for her. Mia gets petty when she tells Jacqueline she is not willing to become part of that village to help her friend. Mia attributes Jacqueline’s behavior to not having a lot of friends.
We then get scenes from Ashley, who has decided that we need more attention brought to their vaginas by purchasing vibrators for everyone. Ashley thinks if they have a big O, they will find a way to get along. In the van, Candiace inquires about if they ever check out their vaginas in the mirror. She wants to take a peek at hers before she has kids so she will have something to reminisce about. Side note: I have no interest in hearing about the condition of ANYONE’S vagina!
Karen has planned a birthday party for Ashley. The other ladies have finally arrived at the resort, and they are greeted by the three amigas — Potomac style. Karen wants to get the party started, so she ushers them into a party room to celebrate Ashley’s birthday. WOW, those Paloma margaritas look amazing, and I could really use one right now recapping this drivel.
Mia admits that she and Jacqueline fight like sisters. She claims that Jacqueline threw a brick at her when she would not let her cheat on her homework. Mia tells Jacqueline that she needs to keep her legs closed to married men! Oh my, is Nene behind the scenes producing this scene??? Jacqueline is furious and tells her she is done with her now. She says Mia has sold her soul to the devil! No, darling Jackie, you are mistaking the devil for Bravo! Jacqueline thinks that Mia is implying that she slept with Gordon. We desperately need clarity on how this conversation went from “married men” to specifically Gordon. Mia says that she is grateful that Jacqueline and her mom opened up her home to her. Great way to show appreciation, Mia!
Karen, who is desperately trying to put out this dumpster fire, ushers out the ladies to see another surprise. OMG, another Shaman Housewives scene — how original! Bravo must have Shamans on speed dial this year on Housewives. Ashley shares that she is optimistic about her new year. Gizelle just wants tequila and one of those delicious-looking Palomas. Karen is annoyed that Charrisse keeps popping up like a leprechaun in a box this season. She hilariously says in her ITM that Charrisse “has been like a leprechaun always looking for a pot of gold and food.”
We are now at Ashley’s birthday dinner, and Ashley asks Gizelle about her friend Steve. Gizelle said the tongue action was controlled, so unclear on what that means. She just wants a guy who makes her laugh and has a big d*ck. OK, I understand that! Candiace shares her disappointment over not being pregnant yet, but she is going to restart IVF. She does want to get some screenshots of her vagina before and after, though. Sorry, I could not help myself!
Gizelle then tells Karen that Charrisse did not post the booby video — but she did. Karen would have preferred that Charrisse would have sent it to her privately and maybe they could have had a good laugh over it. She wants Charrisse to explain why she is so desperate to be her friend, and Charrisse insists that is not the case. This argument escalates WITH NO CONTEXT with Karen thinking her womanhood is being questioned.
Charrisse is hurt that Karen did not reach out during her divorce or the death of her father. Karen then ups the ante and reminds her that she lost BOTH parents. Karen then turns Charrisse’s acknowledgment of her mom’s loss into being disrespectful. She then screams, “Keep my mother’s name out of your mouth!” The other ladies see this fight as a geriatric prize fight between Cha Cha vs. the Grande Dame. We then get a to-be-continued…
Next week, we are still in Mexico, and hopefully, they will finally be able to enjoy their gorgeous beaches. I hope everyone has a wonderful week. See you next week in Mexico, and hope no one gets Montezuma’s revenge! We cannot take any more messiness!
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