The ladies of The Real Housewives of Rhode Island are forever bringing it. We have Rulla dodging infidelity issues and Alicia tasked with delivering the bad news that allegedly, Rulla’s husband is STILL cheating. We have Jo-Ellen opening up to her mother about her awful childhood and we have Liz and Dolores creating menopausal gummies. But when Rosie and Kelsey think they have made up, things take a turn for the worst, resulting in name calling (slam pig) and threats. It doesn’t seem like these two will ever be on good terms after this…
It’s time for Alicia to conquer her fear of driving. Based on her track record (earlier she admitted to hitting a woman), I can see why she would be super nervous to cart her daughter to dance five days a week. Alicia’s fiance Bill wants her to practice behind the wheel, so Alicia packs her crackas, rose water, gum, and a good playlist to set herself up properly.
As she drives, she retells the girls’ trip to Bill, focusing on the part when Liz “attacked” her when she said she was homeless. Bill thinks it’s hard for Alicia because she knows and respects Liz. Let it be known that as she listens intently to Bill’s advice, Alicia blows through two stop signs.
Alicia also fills Bill in on the video of Rulla’s husband and his mistress. According to Alicia, Jo-Ellen brought the dramatics, but Alicia is unsure what to do with this information because she does not want to kick Rulla when she is down. Alicia does not think Rulla will be ok upon hearing this.
Over at Rosie’s house, she is deep into the building of her 5,000 square foot addition to her home. But things are getting held up with construction because they keep running into issues. Rosie lets Rich know that the ladies claim she is full of bologna when it comes to her house, especially Kelsey. They both agree that Kelsey’s doing a classic case of projection. After all, Rosie feels like Kelsey never tried with her, BUT they agreed that they have a lot more in common than differences.
Rosie thinks asking Kelsey to cut her hair again might be the move to extend an olive branch and THIS time, she will post the end results. However, Rosie tells her husband that she is getting to the point of freaking the f out if this gang up continues.
Kelsey is busy unpacking in her new apartment with the help of her mom and sister. Kelsey is used to assistants, so her family should do the trick. Now it’s time for Kelsey to figure out how to do things for herself. However, Kelsey admits that she is not paying for the rent -her ex is paying for it…for now. He is also still paying for her health and car insurance. Kelsey claims that this is a temporary thing and just because they were not married, she did still spend ten years of her life with her ex.
Her mom wonders if Kelsey can see a future with Billy, her OTHER boyfriend (that’s a sentence I don’t have to write often). Kelsey explains that her parents never approved of the relationship with her ex, but they love Billy and know he can give Kelsey the things she wants and when Billy comes to help Kelsey at the apartment, it is clear that he’s definitely ready for more with her.
Ashley‘s son is on the mend after his trip to the ER due to his cold induced asthma. Ashley admits to being reliant on her parents and catches her friend up on the (little bit) of the trip she was able to enjoy. She also talks about how her husband, Jared, is not taking full advantage of influencing. Shooting a couple of reels makes more money than Audrey’s, the coffee shop her husband owns.
Jo-Ellen walks into her grandfather’s house and the memories come flooding back. Her grandfather was more like Jo-Ellen’s father figure. Jo-Ellen’s mom and sister come to walk down memory lane and they browse pictures of the past. She laments that her mother was not as kind and sweet as her grandfather was because her mom did not know how to show her love.
Jo-Ellen reminds her mom that she was not nice growing up and that her mom never showed her how to be respectful and kind. Her mom seems to be in denial over Jo-Ellen’s feelings. She lets Jo-Ellen know her lying behavior was out of control, but according to Jo-Ellen, she had no reason to send her daughter away to a place with drug addicts and criminals.
Her mom breaks down and admits to loving Jo-Ellen, despite the way she behaved towards her. She goes on to say that she was brought up with very tough love and Jo-Ellen explains that her mom shaped who her daughters became. Her mother feels terrible for all of the damage and makes a promise to be a better version of herself. Jo-Ellen wants her mom to understand she needs her to be there, for everything…not just babysitting. Jo-Ellen has been waiting her entire life for her mom to say she wants to be better and so this is a huge turning point.
Liz is hosting Dolores at her cannabis dispensary for the first time. After countless hours of b*tching about hormones and menopause, they have gotten together to create a gummy that addresses all the negative symptoms. Dolores and Liz taste-test the product right in the lab and they enjoy the effects. Liz talks about how hard menopause hit her and Dolores explains that you don’t even know yourself anymore. Here’s hoping the gummies are the way to fix the issues.
Rulla and her husband, Brian, are hosting Alicia and Bill for dinner. Rulla is, luckily, feeling better after her hospital visit and now she is ready to surround herself with good energy and good friends, as opposed to the Newport trip. Alicia is stressing because she knows what Brian did and it’s weighing on her heavily. Alicia wants to enjoy the night, but she is feeling guilty because she saw the alleged affair video.
Brian talks about work and how he dabbles in all of the things he has at his practice, to which Alicia retorts, “This is incredible information.” In the midst of the conversation, Brian gets a text and asks if he can go to the bathroom. He claims it was a work call and comes back quickly, ready to overshare about how he met Rulla and essentially just got her drunk to hook her in. As Alicia sits listening, she realizes that nope, she simply can’t tell Rulla about the video yet.
Kelsey is heading to Rosie’s house and calls her (only) boyfriend Bill to chat. Kelsey is looking forward to connecting with Rosie while getting her glammed. AND she is also planning to bust Rosie’s balls a bit. Rosie is prepped for it though- she puts the house plans on the island in case there is any more confusion about the future of Rosie’s home.
Rosie gets a shock when Kelsey acts as house police, blasting a siren and yelling from a bullhorn about the size of Rosie’s house: “Suspect says 8,000 square feet. More like 8,000 inches.” Holy obnoxious. The minute Kelsey walks in, Rosie gives her a measuring tape and displays the house plans. They begin bickering right away and it is clear that Kelsey misjudged how “cool” she was with Rosie.
Kelsey calls the house police thing a joke, but Rosie does not think it’s funny. She’s tired of Kelsey calling her a liar and exaggerator and asks Kelsey outright, “where the f*ck is your house? At least I’m on the deed of this house.” Boom. Things escalate rather quickly from that point on. Kelsey tries to remain calm, stating sarcastically that Rosie is “impressive” and continues to call the whole situation funny.
BUT, Rosie certainly does not find this behavior funny. Rosie apologizes for calling Kelsey polygamist at the picnic, but points out that Kelsey that has been nasty to her all along. Rosie tells Kelsey, while standing nose to nose, that she is “no one,” that Kelsey needs to get out of her house, and that Kelsey can talk to her when she gets a house and a husband. Afterall, “sucking d*ck is not a career,” according to Rosie.
Rosie continues to go in on Kelsey, claiming that her sugar daddy had to pay for Kelsey to win the pageant. Rosie calls Kelsey rude and drags Kelsey’s things down the stairs. Rosie literally pushes Kelsey out of her home, but Kelsey pops back in to clarify that she won the pageant fair and square. Because THAT’S the most important issue at hand… Rosie loses it and shrieks that Kelsey is a “slam pig.” She threatens to call the police as Kelsey flips the bird and peels out of the driveway. Sooo, I think it’s safe to say they are not on good terms again, right?
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE RHORI EPISODE?