We are back at the Jersey Shore with our Real Housewives of Jersey and a few nobodies thrown in. It is a slow-moving episode, but the guys bring it at the end. Let’s watch the guys steal the show, shall we?
Teresa and Louie talk about everyone ganging up on her and how she does not want to fight with her “fambily.” She resents newbie-barbie Traci coming after her and wants her to just step away. Joe G. wants Teresa to defend him like she wants everyone to protect Louie. Melissa sees this as total hypocrisy, and you can see she has been bottling up her resentments toward Teresa. She wants nothing to do with Jennifer since they have had too many playground spats. Teresa thinks Jennifer was not malicious in what she said about Joe. I would ask Teresa to define “malicious” if I was in this scene. Can you imagine what she would come up with? Maybe she thinks that Jennifer is just acting like Maleficent?
Traci, who is so parched she is puckered, pulls Teresa aside and tells her she needs to stand up for Joe. Teresa claims she has never seen the video and swears on her kid’s life. She claims that Gia did not even see it, and frankly, I find that unbelievable. Teresa’s eyes are shiftier than normal and she keeps swallowing, which is pretty telling that she is not being honest. Marge tries to penetrate that blockhead and get her to see that Jennifer has pushed it to the limit.
Jennifer and Bill are now hanging out at their shore rental. They discuss how they are not going to the pink party since Melissa charged at her. The Aydins are planning a nice chill night as a family. Jennifer, in her ITM, is now ready to take her Braveheart face off when the topic of Bill’s affair comes up. She is sick of pretending everything is copasetic when it is not.
The Jersey husbands discuss how Bill did not get involved in the ladies’ drama. Joe G. sees Bill as a friend and cannot believe he is not acting like he is part of their wolf pack. Bill has not apologized for his wife’s comments and for throwing him out of their house. They want to have a guys’ night and discuss everything with Bill. Louie is even going to join the guys’ night. Side note: Kiki seems reluctant to include Louie. Melissa thinks it is f*cked up that Jennifer removed Bill from the guy group. Me too — I love when Dr. Bill hangs out with the guy, at least until the end of this episode.
Marge and Marge Sr. meet up for lunch. She shares with her mom what is going on with Teresa and Louie. I am SHOCKED to see that Marge Sr.’s face looks less melty than her daughter’s. Marge then spills the domestic violence tea about Louie allegedly hitting his ex in front of her kids. She even mentions Louie wrote a letter of apology for his actions.
Gia and Teresa go eat playa bowls, which I freaking love, and they spend some mother-daughter time together. She has been dating a guy named Christian after meeting him on the Jersey Shore. They celebrated their one-year anniversary by taking a helicopter around NYC. Teresa asks Gia if she likes Louie. Gia, who is Teresa’s voice of reason, thinks her mom is in la-la land and is taking things too fast. She wants to know if they have talked engagement yet. Teresa concludes that Nonno would want her to be engaged before shacking up with Louie. Hmm, I would have liked to know what he thought about this shyster. R.I.P. Papa Giacinto.
Dolores tells her parents, Valerie and Larry, that she loves her independent life. She does not want to go home. Dolores shares how there was a lot of turmoil in her marriage to Frank. She did not want to tell them since her dad is a cop and that would have not ended up well. Dolores is almost relieved that Frank cheated so she was forced to cut the cord.
Dolores then breaks it to her parents that she and David broke up. Why is this such earth-shattering news? David was one of the most unavailable men on this show. Larry cannot believe that after five years the relationship ended. Dolores feels bad that she ended it. She needs to stop feeling bad. She did nothing wrong — except for falling for a man who was emotionally unavailable. Let’s hope her new guy is a better choice!
Melissa is visiting Joe at the house they are renovating in Franklin Lakes. This will end up being a six-bedroom house, and why do these two keep moving? Are they running from creditors? The house comes with a huge nest of wasps and a moat trying to be a pool in the backyard. Joe had to break into the sliding glass door since he did not have keys to the house. He reflects on them going through a rough patch, and Melissa wanted a change of scenery probably without him in it.
Jennifer shares that she told Gabby about the affair. She is concerned about telling her mom about Bill’s affair. Josephine is going to shoot the messenger, Margaret, and she will not blame Bill. Gabby is such a thoughtful teenager and I hate they put her on the spot in this scene.
Jennifer and Gabby are going to take a kickboxing class with Dolores. This looks so difficult, and Dolores’ booty is reminiscent of Larsa Pippins from RHOM. Jennifer likes to picture Margaret on the punching bags, but that would be like punching a water balloon! Dolores is worried about her mom Valerie since she has a heart abnormality. David has been called to ask him to check on her mom. Dolores left her mom’s side to get to the bottom of Jennifer and Melissa’s drama?
Jennifer is so upset over having to tell her friends and family about Bill’s affair. Dolores went through this with Frank when she was pregnant with Frankie. Jennifer surprisingly calls Bill a “f**king pu**y” since he said not a word to defend her. She has put Bill up on a pedestal and he is not behaving like her lord and protector. Dolores suggests Jennifer sit down with Bill since she still has a lot of unresolved anger towards him. She then gets a call about her mom, and she has a 90% blockage and needs triple bypass surgery. Dolores is very concerned and finally realizes filming this scene is not a priority and rushes to her mom’s side.
The guys are heading out for their night on the town. Jackie doesn’t want Evan to look too good since women will flirt with him. She tries to play it off like she is kidding, but we see through you! Joe commented on a group text with, “F*ck you Bill!” when the others were trying to build him up. While at the bar, Joe G. makes fun of Frank drinking a girly drink and leering at the young waitress. Joe B. and Tiki mention the rumor about Louie and the alleged domestic violence incident.
They all debate if Bill will show up, and it appears production gave him a later call time to allow the wolfpack, aka ankle-biters, to talk sh*t about him. Here comes Dr. Aydin to face a motley crew who are gunning for him. Tiki asks Bill if he thought Joe was joking when he told him “f*ck you” on the group text. Bill was unsure and insists that he does not like getting involved in the women’s drama. He then says, “I don’t throw gas on the fire.”
Joe tells Bill, “Jen got dirty and disgusting and crossed a line.” He really should check himself since he is no angel. Bill then fires back with, “Don’t you think that Marge crossed a line digging up my secret?” He then deems Jennifer’s snooping as just being nosy. Maybe Jen’s new nose has a new personality and will stay out of other people’s business now? Evan, who normally says very little, then deems Jen to be not a good person. He is obviously parroting Jackie. Bill does not like Evan’s perception of his wife. Why is greasy Frank literally held harmless for his part in this mess? Bill, who has had enough, then gives us a traditional housewife storm-off line of, “I am done!” We are left with a to-be continued.
Next week, Jennifer will hopefully find some resolution with Bill. Teresa’s head will continue to remain up in the clouds regarding Louie. Whose side are you all on: The wolf pack or Dr. Bill? See you all on Friday for part two of the RHOM reunion!
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