Katie Maloney opened up about the aha moment that led to her divorce from Tom Schwartz while appearing on Bachelor alum Nick Viall‘s podcast on Thursday.
Nearly two months after finalizing her split from Tom, the Vanderpump Rules star revealed what her now ex-husband refused to change amid their marriage as she also admitted to feeling disrespected by his behavior with their co-star, Raquel Leviss.
“There was kinda a moment where I did kinda wake up, and things started coming to view,” Katie admitted on the December 1 episode of The Viall Files.
According to Katie, she was constantly being bombarded with thoughts about what she had been trying to fix about her marriage, and her justifications for staying.
“It’s like this voice inside me woke up and said, ‘You don’t want this, and you need to be honest with yourself that these are probably things that are going to be present forever. Is this the kind of person you want to be with, or do you deserve more?’ [And] it just got louder,” Katie recalled. “I wasn’t happy, and I hadn’t prioritized myself because I was prioritizing someone else… at the expense of myself and my happiness.”
“Once I was honest with myself, and I was like, ’No, I don’t want this,’ I felt relief, and that was hard and sad for me. It was pain and sadness and relief. It was a lot all at once,” she continued.
According to Katie, she couldn’t get past Tom’s inability “to prioritize me.”
“I felt like I came dead last to everyone else in the room, his friends and strangers, and he’s such a charismatic, charming guy. Everyone loves him, but when it came to me, I didn’t feel I was seen or heard or supported on an emotional level or intellectual level,” Katie confessed. “I felt very alone a lot of the time.”
Although Tom didn’t take Katie’s desire to split “well,” disagreeing with “a lot of” her reasoning, it wasn’t a sudden decision.
“These were things that over the years I’d been frustrated by, and when we tried to work through it, I feel I was stonewalled a bit, and I tried to justify.. and then I got to the point where I’m just like, ‘I don’t think this is ever gonna change. I don’t think he’s ever gonna change,’” Katie explained.
Following their split, Katie and Tom did their best to remain on good terms, even living together for months after their February separation.
“When we separated, we were still living together for five months, and it was kinda nice to have that time because we were able to sort of untangle, uncouple during that time and get used to not being together even though we were together,” she shared. “It was nice.”
But, while the former couple has continued to share custody of their two dogs, with Katie saying that’s their “main contact,” there is a bit of tension between them following reports of Tom’s hookup with Raquel.
“I’m trying [to remain friendly], but I just feel like there’s been a lot of disrespect,” Katie admitted.
Then, when asked if the disrespect involved Raquel, Katie confirmed, “Yeah, obviously. But there’s so much more to that.”
Vanderpump Rules season 10 is expected to premiere on Bravo early next year.