Following her and Tom’s breakup confirmation in March, which came in the form of separate, and very emotional, statements shared on Instagram, the Vanderpump Rules cast member is revealing that she had grown tired of the way she was being treated by her now-estranged spouse.
“You sit around and wait for someone to start behaving differently or act right. And then it’s just like, why am I sitting, hoping and waiting for something like that?” Katie shared on the latest episode of Dear Media’s Relationsh-t with Kamie Crawford, via E! News.
“It started to feel very disrespectful to myself,” she continued. “Like, these kinds of behaviors are hurtful to me, and nothing’s changed. When my behavior was destructive and hurtful to the relationship, I got my s–t together because God forbid I destroy this relationship that is so important to me.”
Because Katie did so much to work on herself and keep her 12-year relationship intact, she didn’t like the thought of ending her marriage.
“I didn’t marry this person because I ultimately wanted to get a divorce,” she noted. “We were at one point trying to start a family. That was a goal of ours together…but then I’m also thinking, What have I done for myself in this? What am I getting out of this? Are my needs being met?”
And apparently, they were not.
“My confidence had suffered, and I felt very insecure,” Katie went on. “I felt like I was coming last in the relationship and in his life. I felt like he was choosing everyone else in the room and in his life before me.”
“We still do things together,” Katie confirmed. “We have some of the same group of friends, and we have dogs that we’re gonna split custody of…he’s family to me, and I’m always going to love him, so our friendship is very important to both of us.”
As for her decision to go public with their split, Katie said she was prompted to do so after noticing “speculation and rumors.”
“We were trying to just keep it private and go through some emotions and [keep] all of that just between us, then, on a need-to-know basis, friends and family before we made anything public. But it just started creeping out there. So we then went on Instagram,” she revealed.
“I got really massively uncomfortable and had all sorts of anxiety once there was all these things swelling around,” she added, via Us Weekly. “I don’t like people speaking for me and saying things that maybe aren’t true. I don’t like that. So we had to take control of that narrative.”
Vanderpump Rules was recently renewed for a 10th season on Bravo.