As Andy Cohen put it, let’s get “behind the orange curtain” and find out the inside scoop with these wild women of the Real Housewives of Orange County.
The reunion begins with an animated Andy greeting each and every one of these overly made up wild women. They all look like cheetahs hunting their prey- ready to pounce at any moment if the wrong question gets asked. We viewers get to take a quick walk down memory lane, which is chock full of ridiculously named events (anyone else momentarily forget about the “balls voyage” party?!) and other absurd scenarios, such as cross-dressing, English lessons, Shannon exercising, and of course, Vicki needing attention at her birthday party.
Andy doesn’t waste any time and dives right into the dirt. My man. We find out Shannon’s daughter Sophie passes her driver’s test and scores a BMW X3 (something tells me that’s David’s way of making sure he stays in the role of “the cool parent”), Peggy evidently plays dumb on purpose (I’m with you Meghan– the jig is up, Peggy. Everyone knows what a peanut gallery is!), and that I don’t know any well-known colloquialisms (bird in hand…??). Andy decides takes Vicki as his first victim. There is no sign of Vicki “whooping it up” since she is still ring less and not hitched to “Boring Steve”- Vicki’s words, not mine. Read more
Just when you thought 90 Day Fiance couldn’t get any more cringe-worthy, the gang has once again outdone themselves in this week’s episode…
Elizabeth & Andrei:
In Tampa, Elizabeth is so excited to begin her jail time, I mean life, with Andrei (you better be rolling that R heavily). As long as Elizabeth doesn’t mind 24/7 lockdown, I see no real issues with this relationship blossoming. At the airport, Elizabeth seemed to have forgotten her “Welcome to America” sign. Not even a balloon. The guy came from MOLDOVA- this is NOT the type of welcome reception I am sure he’s expecting… Once every single person exits the plane and what seems like 4 hours later, Andrei strolls right on into Elizabeth’s open arms. I would say that he looks disappointed in the lack of welcome signage, but I think that’s just his face. Andrei states that he plans to just “go with the flow” upon his arrival to the U S of A, yet criticizes Elizabeth’s driving because she is a woman, not because she seems to be turning those corners pretty sharply in the parking garage. Elizabeth confesses to the camera that she is “dreading” him meeting her father and brother, but that doesn’t stop her from bringing her Moldovian hunk back to their (empty) apartment. All I have to say is, move over Chip and Joanna. Make room for these two- the new home decorating duo!! And don’t worry- Elizabeth’s dad bought them a bed frame for their housewarming gift. The guy doesn’t even like Andrei, but he’s making sure they are nice and cozy in the same bed. Go figure. Read more
The finale episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County opens up in the only place it should: Coto Insurance, the business empire of Orange County (you just don’t know it yet). Vicki is running around with her McDonald’s headgear on barking out orders as her son Michael blankly stares open-mouthed at the circus unfolding before him. Linda, the office manager, doesn’t seem to be managing anything, particularly not the technology aspect of the company. It’s a good thing Ali, the business partner, enters ready to discuss the future of Coto. He invites Michael (who is working hard…or hardly working) into the conference room with Vicki and some other dude where he announces- are you sitting down- that Michael, Vicki’s son, receives the SHOCKING news that HE will be getting a new position and is set to grow with company!! Oh…now Michael can crack a half smile. My question is this: what about Brianna? What is she-chopped liver stuck chasing around those maniac boys in the house her mother bought for her? Read more
Bringing you the latest recap of 90 Day Fiance Season 5, episode 18 titled ‘Crossing the Line.’ Let’s get right into it!
David & Annie:
Thailand – currently the land of the money borrowing and kangaroo dancing when it comes to David and his fiancé, Annie. David sets up a video chat with his daughter, Ashley, who has ZERO clue that her father is engaged and bringing Annie back to America. We already feel bad for David, but my heart broke a little more when his daughter refers to Annie as “Phantom Annie.” Basically, she just told her dad he’s dating George Glass. David tries to clear this mystery up and allows Annie to video chat with his “outspoken” daughter who immediately bonds with Annie. “Can you do nails?” –asks Ashley to Annie. First, creepy friend Chris asks Annie about massages, now David’s daughter asks about nails?! Poor Annie.
For one of their last nights in Thailand, Annie and David decide to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party…cuz THAT’S a good idea. Cue the kangaroo dancing David. Annie seems to be having a great time, but then the wheels fall off when she realizes just how drunk David is. The two begin an argument around “yacking.” Annie doesn’t want David to “yack” her. David claims he is “not yacking” her. Back and forth we go with this yacking, until Annie has had enough. She confides in a best friend that she is not sure how this relationship can continue and if they were in America, she would be “screwed.” Creepy friend Chris tries to step in, but this doesn’t look like something that money can fix, so put those baht away, bro. David’s gonna have to romance Annie back into loving him all by himself. Read more